How do I love thee VH1? Let me count the ways. You provide quality entertainment. You give talentless people work. You do a horribly bad job at trying to make it seem like confessionals weren’t recorded in one day after taping. But mostly, you’re the trashiest channel this side of the remote control, and I love you for it.
I Love New York
Okay, New York. Listen. I know that you got dumped by Tango and all and were all fake sad about that, but seriously, you’re causing this season to suck. You eliminated all of the interesting people, because you’re actually looking for someone to settle down with. Well you know what the result of that is? A subpar product.
This season has been a real letdown. Following your amazing first season, and coming on the heels of that Holy Grail of trash TV Rock of Love, well, frankly, you’re just not doing it for me. I mean, I still and will always watch I Love New York, but the sizzle is gone. All the drama this season seems manufactured. Maybe it’s just a result of worse actors vying for your affection, but seriously? These are the guys that are supposed to entertain me? The show even seems schizophrenic in the way its choosing it’s villains. First it was Tailor Made, now it’s Buddha? And Tailor Made is the good guy? Seriously, get your act together; stop threatening me with a good time and actually provide one.
America’s Most Smartest Model
Thank god for this, or I’d seriously be worried about VH1’s trashiness. While Most Smartest Model is not as trashy, per se, as a normal VH1 show, it makes up for it in general level of comedy and actually being interesting. I mean, granted, they’re getting down to the actually somewhat smart people who are also decent models, but I’m still kind of hooked.
I mean, they clearly know how they’re trying to present these people. And while it seems pretty obvious who the final three will be (Brett, VJ, and Aussie Rachel), it’s still pretty interesting to watch these people not be able to name a vitamin, a city in Iraq, or a designer from Italy. And, while there are no more idiots like Blonde Rachel, who lived up to her hair color, there’s still a good bit of drama.
But I still miss Mandy Lynn. Repeat it with me folks: Balls, Cherries, Balloons, Tires.
VH1, you’ve got another Flavor of Love coming up and a second season of Rock of Love. Don’t you let me down with those.
Showing posts with label I Love New York. Show all posts
Showing posts with label I Love New York. Show all posts
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Friday, November 23, 2007
Thanks and No Thanks
Well, I’m a day late and more than a few dollars short, but I’ve compiled a list of things to be thankful for and things to lament this TV year:
I’m Thankful For:
Slap Bets: Not only was the original episode my favorite episode of television of the past year, but every subsequent payoff has been pitch perfect, including this most recent Slapsgiving episode.
The Writer’s Strike: I know this is surprising to see here, but as a writer who is hoping to break into TV, this strike will be key in getting fair wages for any future work I do.
Pushing Daisies: For bringing fairy tale and whimsy and quality back to primetime television. Also, for finally bringing Bryan Fuller the success he so deserves.
Alec Baldwin and “30 Rock”: For making “The Office” more than a fluke for NBC.
Rock of Love: If only for teaching me that it’s never a good idea to threaten a person with a good time. Especially if they’re a drunken stripper.
Imaginationland: For violating everything my childhood held dear, and making me love that violation.
My Readers: It makes me feel really good about myself when people read my blog. So, sentimental “aw” moment: Thanks for reading guys. “Awwwwwww”
I’m NOT Thankful For:
The Writer’s Strike: While I support what they’re doing, there’s a good chance that it’ll seriously hurt a bunch of good freshman shows.
Meredith Not Dying on Grey's Anatomy: I hate her. I hate her so much. I want to punch her anytime I’m reminded of her “Choose Me. Pick Me. Love Me” speech.
I Love New York Season 2: Because it’s nowhere near as good as season one.
The Cancellation of Studio 60: Because it had such good potential, but still couldn’t find viewers.
The Way Veronica Mars Ended: I seriously wanted to punch my TV. That’s the way they ended my favorite show?
Lorena on The Amazing Race: It takes a special something to become one of my most hated reality competitors three episodes into a season. Kudos, Lorena. Kudos.
Most Reality Shows on the CW: Beauty and the Geek and America’s Next Top Model, those I can live with. But, seriously, “The Search for the Next Pussycat Doll”? The Upcoming “Crowned: The Ultimate Mother Daughter Beauty Pageant”? The Upcoming “Farmer Wants A Wife”? Someone sold their soul to the devil for development deals…
Overall though, I’m a lot more thankful for this past year than I am sad about it. While we lost some great shows, we gained some other great ones. Good times, people. Good times.
I’m Thankful For:
Slap Bets: Not only was the original episode my favorite episode of television of the past year, but every subsequent payoff has been pitch perfect, including this most recent Slapsgiving episode.
The Writer’s Strike: I know this is surprising to see here, but as a writer who is hoping to break into TV, this strike will be key in getting fair wages for any future work I do.
Pushing Daisies: For bringing fairy tale and whimsy and quality back to primetime television. Also, for finally bringing Bryan Fuller the success he so deserves.
Alec Baldwin and “30 Rock”: For making “The Office” more than a fluke for NBC.
Rock of Love: If only for teaching me that it’s never a good idea to threaten a person with a good time. Especially if they’re a drunken stripper.
Imaginationland: For violating everything my childhood held dear, and making me love that violation.
My Readers: It makes me feel really good about myself when people read my blog. So, sentimental “aw” moment: Thanks for reading guys. “Awwwwwww”
I’m NOT Thankful For:
The Writer’s Strike: While I support what they’re doing, there’s a good chance that it’ll seriously hurt a bunch of good freshman shows.
Meredith Not Dying on Grey's Anatomy: I hate her. I hate her so much. I want to punch her anytime I’m reminded of her “Choose Me. Pick Me. Love Me” speech.
I Love New York Season 2: Because it’s nowhere near as good as season one.
The Cancellation of Studio 60: Because it had such good potential, but still couldn’t find viewers.
The Way Veronica Mars Ended: I seriously wanted to punch my TV. That’s the way they ended my favorite show?
Lorena on The Amazing Race: It takes a special something to become one of my most hated reality competitors three episodes into a season. Kudos, Lorena. Kudos.
Most Reality Shows on the CW: Beauty and the Geek and America’s Next Top Model, those I can live with. But, seriously, “The Search for the Next Pussycat Doll”? The Upcoming “Crowned: The Ultimate Mother Daughter Beauty Pageant”? The Upcoming “Farmer Wants A Wife”? Someone sold their soul to the devil for development deals…
Overall though, I’m a lot more thankful for this past year than I am sad about it. While we lost some great shows, we gained some other great ones. Good times, people. Good times.
Monday, October 8, 2007
It's Here! It's Here! It's Finally Here!
It’s Here! Today is finally here! Why am I SOOOOO excited for today you might ask? Well, because my most anticipated premiere of the fall is tonight. While I love shows like 30 Rock, Pushing Daisies, The Office, and others, they’re not really coming close to my anticipation of tonight. Why, you might ask? What premieres tonight? Well, folks, I’ll tell you. As much love as I have for those shows, I have more love for New York.
The premiere I speak of is, of course, I Love New York 2. Now, I’ve already admitted my love for all things VH1. I even watched the premiere of America’s Most Smartest Model last night, which, sadly, did not live up to the trash content I usually like from a VH1 show. But there’s a special place in my heart for I Love New York. Mainly, because, well, I kinda feel bad for her.
I mean, look at her track record. She goes on Flavor of Love 1. Everyone hates her. Flav keeps her to the end, but eventually chooses Hoopz over her. No one liked her, but you still usually feel bad for the girl who makes it to the end and gets rejected. And she got spit on by Pumkin.
Jump forward a year, Flavor of Love 2 comes rolling on. Half way through, Flav brings New York in to judge the new girls. Feelings return and he asks her to stay around. She makes it to the end again. Flav rejects her AGAIN. Now, I know she’s crazy, but you’ve got to start feeling bad for this girl.
Finally, New York gets her own chance (pun intended, since ILNY1 runner up was Chance) to find love. She ends up picking Tango, who proposes to her on the spot. Everything looks mildly happy. Cue the reunion show, where she and tango are finally reunited (and it feels so good). Well, that is until Tango tells her that what he saw of her on the show has shown him the real her and he doesn’t want to be with her anymore. That makes three strikes now for New York. I mean, at this point, I wanna go give her a hug and be her knight in shining armor (maybe even blinged armor). She certainly needs one.
So now we’re at I Love New York 2, where I truly hope she actually finds someone who wants to be with her, whether it be contestants like Pretty, 20 Pack, or, my early favorite, Midget Mac, who is, in fact, a little person.
But even if she doesn’t find love, which I genuinely hope she does, even if the show, like her hair and breasts, is fake, I know it’ll be a hilarious ride, featuring New York meltdowns, drunken shenanigans, and Sister Patterson’s forehead, which appears to have gone into hiding in publicity photos.
Before:
After:
But really, I mean, after last season, I’m a little worried that they can only go down. I mean, season one was so ridiculously amazing with idiots like Chance, Romance (the one who bawled every time New York’s dog, Princess, made an appearance), T-Weed (Who claimed he was a millionaire but in reality his last job was at a Munchie’s Pizza in 2002), Pootie (Who had a nervous breakdown and was apparently on the run from creditors), and 12 Pack and Heat (One of who worked as a dancer at a gay bar, the other who had a severe man crush on the dancer). Seriously, can you really go up from these guys?
So yeah, there’s not a doubt in my mind that I will be tuned in tonight at 9 (EST), and every Monday until New York and Sister Patterson’s forehead finally find that compatible thug for her. And, should she fail again, she can always get my number. Call me, New York. I’ve got love for you.
PS: VH1, Can we PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE get Sister Patterson: Matchmaker or Sister Patterson: Couple’s Counselor? Honestly, it would be amazing.
The premiere I speak of is, of course, I Love New York 2. Now, I’ve already admitted my love for all things VH1. I even watched the premiere of America’s Most Smartest Model last night, which, sadly, did not live up to the trash content I usually like from a VH1 show. But there’s a special place in my heart for I Love New York. Mainly, because, well, I kinda feel bad for her.
I mean, look at her track record. She goes on Flavor of Love 1. Everyone hates her. Flav keeps her to the end, but eventually chooses Hoopz over her. No one liked her, but you still usually feel bad for the girl who makes it to the end and gets rejected. And she got spit on by Pumkin.
Jump forward a year, Flavor of Love 2 comes rolling on. Half way through, Flav brings New York in to judge the new girls. Feelings return and he asks her to stay around. She makes it to the end again. Flav rejects her AGAIN. Now, I know she’s crazy, but you’ve got to start feeling bad for this girl.
Finally, New York gets her own chance (pun intended, since ILNY1 runner up was Chance) to find love. She ends up picking Tango, who proposes to her on the spot. Everything looks mildly happy. Cue the reunion show, where she and tango are finally reunited (and it feels so good). Well, that is until Tango tells her that what he saw of her on the show has shown him the real her and he doesn’t want to be with her anymore. That makes three strikes now for New York. I mean, at this point, I wanna go give her a hug and be her knight in shining armor (maybe even blinged armor). She certainly needs one.
So now we’re at I Love New York 2, where I truly hope she actually finds someone who wants to be with her, whether it be contestants like Pretty, 20 Pack, or, my early favorite, Midget Mac, who is, in fact, a little person.
But even if she doesn’t find love, which I genuinely hope she does, even if the show, like her hair and breasts, is fake, I know it’ll be a hilarious ride, featuring New York meltdowns, drunken shenanigans, and Sister Patterson’s forehead, which appears to have gone into hiding in publicity photos.
Before:
After:
But really, I mean, after last season, I’m a little worried that they can only go down. I mean, season one was so ridiculously amazing with idiots like Chance, Romance (the one who bawled every time New York’s dog, Princess, made an appearance), T-Weed (Who claimed he was a millionaire but in reality his last job was at a Munchie’s Pizza in 2002), Pootie (Who had a nervous breakdown and was apparently on the run from creditors), and 12 Pack and Heat (One of who worked as a dancer at a gay bar, the other who had a severe man crush on the dancer). Seriously, can you really go up from these guys?
So yeah, there’s not a doubt in my mind that I will be tuned in tonight at 9 (EST), and every Monday until New York and Sister Patterson’s forehead finally find that compatible thug for her. And, should she fail again, she can always get my number. Call me, New York. I’ve got love for you.
PS: VH1, Can we PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE get Sister Patterson: Matchmaker or Sister Patterson: Couple’s Counselor? Honestly, it would be amazing.
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