So You Think You Can Dance 6/25- The 16 Lose 2

Hey Folks,

So, it’s top 16 results night. I gotta say, like most, I wasn’t all too impressed with last night. There were a few great couples (why do I feel like Melissa and Ade aren’t getting the fan love that they deserve?), and, um, one terrible guest judge. Going into tonight, I see the lonely stool of eliminated depression in Jonathan and Karla’s futures, simply because Jonathan stunk more than Asuka and the show’s not gonna get rid of two of its remaining three ballroomers in one fell swoop. That being said, I’m not gonna be surprised if this is the end of Caitlin’s run either. Because this recap is not all about the booty, but rather all about SYTYCD’s top 16 results show, lets get to discussing that, shall we?

Note: This is the slightly abridged version of the recap. For a fuller recap, head to sytycd.ca

Oh hey, remember how yesterday I said Cat was on an outfit hot streak? Yeah, well that ends tonight, with a pantsuit stolen from a Florida retiree circa 1973. Tonight’s opening routine is ballroom-ish, which I can’t remember them ever doing before. And my god is it sultry. Like, the first 30 seconds are all “I wanna be all up on you” looks. And then there’s that wet-outfit contest segment in the beginning. Ade, Karla, Melissa, Brandon, and Janette stand out. And Jeanine certainly stands out in the sultry, because she looks damn good during the wet part. Apparently, it was a collaboration between NappyTabs and Season 2’s Dmitry. I can totally see the mixture in there retroactively. Toni Basil, missing the hat, the only interesting thing about her from last night, is back along with Mary and Nigel. The show addresses Michael Jackson’s death (along with Ed McMahon and Farrah Fawcett). Nigel kind of makes it more about himself a little bit than the dead people (at least during Farrah’s part). Or maybe it’s just me? Nigel cites “Black and White” as the inspiration for the show. We then watch the Thriller video into commercial, which is always welcome for me. Because Thriller is awesome. If you disagree, you’re an idiot.

The first five couples are welcomed to the stage. I don’t know why they broke them 5-3 versus 4-4, but whatever. Asuka and Vitolio are first and they totally deserve to be in the bottom 3 for that. Asuka in particular. Which is where Cat deservedly sends them. Janette and Brandon are next. Oh look, Toni Basil says street during their video package. Whoodathunkit. Anyways, they’re safe. Good. Randi and Evan are next and these two are adorable looking together. I like the piece a lot more watching the parts during the video package. Methinks I’ll have to go back and rewatch it. They’re safe, or as Cat says, “the butt made the cut.” Jeanine and Philip are next. The routine still isn’t fantastic. They’re safe too. Phil’s fanbase must really be voting in droves. Melissa and Ade are last of this group and they best not be in the bottom. I mean, I really doubt they’d get rid of either of these two tonight, but I thought the same about Max last week. But they’re safe! Huzzah! And if you haven’t figured it out, these are the two I’m really rooting for. Go Adessa!

The remaining three couples are now on stage. Karla and Jonathan are first and wow, he’s even worse looking at it again. They best be in the bottom three. And good, they are. He really deserves to go tonight. Jason and Caitlin are next, and I’m totally not gonna be surprised to see them in the bottom. We have to wait and relive Kupono and Kayla before we hear results though. The final couple rounding out the bottom three is Caitlin and Jason, and, continuing a trend this season, Kupono and Kayla are way too in-your-face about celebrating their safety in front of the bottom three couples. Mary reminds the bottom dancers how many dancers they beat to be there. Toni basically says all three deserve to be in the bottom. Nigel makes Toni get mean. And you know, it’s probably the most interesting she’s been all week. Save for her choice of that hat.

Tonight’s stars of dance (which I accidentally just typoed as satyrs of dance, which would be so much more interesting), is a group of kid hip-hop dancers, the “Rage Boys Crew”. There are some stand out kids and some who just kind of do the moves. By the way, I absolutely don’t feel bad about dissing kids in this recap, just so you know. I mean, they’re all better than I would be, but I’m not putting myself out there on a dancing program, you know? There are a bunch that are really good though. So to recap, I don’t hate all kids, just those that can’t dance well. Cat gets down on her knees and kind of bows down to them.

Dance For Your Lives! DANCE!
Asuka- It’s not as good as her jive solo from week one. This one’s all about doing her sex kitten thing. I’m also pretty sure Cat just flat out called her Oscar.

Vitolio- This. Is. Awesome. This solo is all leaps and grace. Like, there should be no way he goes home after this.

Karla- Karla is, actually, really good for me. I like her movements, I think I maybe even understand what she’s trying to get across. It certainly makes me wonder how much I’d like her if she had a better partner.

Jonathan- Shockingly enough, his solo is actually pretty good too. I mean, it’s mostly tricks and some fancy footwork, and I doubt it’s enough to save him tonight, but it’s a high note to go out on.

Caitlin- Caitlin’s solo is pretty to look at, and it seems graceful. There’s some awesome leg stuff and a great back handstand leap thing. I’m not entirely sure if it’ll save her though.

Jason- Ok, well this is most definitely the final nail in Jonathan’s coffin. Jason is an amazing soloist and, to quote Shankers, so SYTYCD.

The judges disappear backstage, and I kind of hope Toni Basil stays there. Tonight’s musical act is The Veronicas, performing “Take Me On The Floor.” There’s something immediately off about the sound mix, because the lead’s being drowned out by backing percussion. She also repeatedly fusses with her earpiece. These girls look like junkies, but they do sing better than them. The performance is still kind of anemic though. And yet is still miles better than the last two trainwrecks of “performers.” Their back-up dancers are also pretty good. Wait, but one of the Veronicas really looks half-asleep. I’m still thoroughly depressed by the musical “stars” this show has been giving us. Honestly, where are those dancing prostitutes when you need them? At least they know how to put on a show.

SIDE NOTE: How much do you want to bet that like halfway through “More to Love” they introduce a bunch of skinny girls to spice it up? Because FOX is cruel like that. Also, I notice I am writing oodles of side notes on this show. Which is surprising, considering I have no interest whatsoever in watching it.

The girls results are up first, and the judges are unanimous. The judges feel Caitlin’s growing confidence and think she gave the best solo tonight. I’d say at least two boys were better than her, but whatever. Karla is called up next and they felt desperation in her and saw lots of technical flubs in her solo. They love Asuka’s beauty and how much she gives in her performances, but they feel she’s not growing, and she’s going home tonight. Which means the show really is getting rid of two more ballroomers since Jonathan has to be going home tonight, right? Right?

Well, it won’t take me long to find out since it’s the boys turn to find out their fates. They are not unanimous tonight, to which, what the what? How is it not unanimous that Jonathan has to go tonight. They feel Vitolio doesn’t deliver on his promises. They think Jonathan shined last week but was disastrous last night and they wanted more than just gymnastics tonight. They thought Jason was desperate this week, to which, again, what the what? But apparently, he was good enough to get through. The person staying tonight is Vitolio, to which I say, why the hell were the judges questioning this? Jonathan’s exit package reminds me of their contemporary, which doesn’t look as good on second watch. Cat plugs a rebroadcast of this past season of Idol’s Michael Jackson week next Monday before wishing us all goodnight. Well, I have to say, I would probably identify these two as the weakest remaining in their respective genders, so I have no problem with tonight’s results. My only question? Who in the hell voted to keep Jonathan? Would you have?