VH-#1 In My Heart

How do I love thee VH1? Let me count the ways. You provide quality entertainment. You give talentless people work. You do a horribly bad job at trying to make it seem like confessionals weren’t recorded in one day after taping. But mostly, you’re the trashiest channel this side of the remote control, and I love you for it.

I Love New York

Okay, New York. Listen. I know that you got dumped by Tango and all and were all fake sad about that, but seriously, you’re causing this season to suck. You eliminated all of the interesting people, because you’re actually looking for someone to settle down with. Well you know what the result of that is? A subpar product.

This season has been a real letdown. Following your amazing first season, and coming on the heels of that Holy Grail of trash TV Rock of Love, well, frankly, you’re just not doing it for me. I mean, I still and will always watch I Love New York, but the sizzle is gone. All the drama this season seems manufactured. Maybe it’s just a result of worse actors vying for your affection, but seriously? These are the guys that are supposed to entertain me? The show even seems schizophrenic in the way its choosing it’s villains. First it was Tailor Made, now it’s Buddha? And Tailor Made is the good guy? Seriously, get your act together; stop threatening me with a good time and actually provide one.

America’s Most Smartest Model

Thank god for this, or I’d seriously be worried about VH1’s trashiness. While Most Smartest Model is not as trashy, per se, as a normal VH1 show, it makes up for it in general level of comedy and actually being interesting. I mean, granted, they’re getting down to the actually somewhat smart people who are also decent models, but I’m still kind of hooked.

I mean, they clearly know how they’re trying to present these people. And while it seems pretty obvious who the final three will be (Brett, VJ, and Aussie Rachel), it’s still pretty interesting to watch these people not be able to name a vitamin, a city in Iraq, or a designer from Italy. And, while there are no more idiots like Blonde Rachel, who lived up to her hair color, there’s still a good bit of drama.

But I still miss Mandy Lynn. Repeat it with me folks: Balls, Cherries, Balloons, Tires.


VH1, you’ve got another Flavor of Love coming up and a second season of Rock of Love. Don’t you let me down with those.