Dear God what is Cat wearing? It looks like she’s stuck in the middle of a mudslide. Well, that or her stomach just exploded and sent chocolate pudding flying everywhere. She does the usual spiel, you know “record votes”, “thousands of auditions”. Everyone is back to do the opening, and it is pretty clear that the less talented were weeded out earlier, because the solos get markedly better as the later eliminees start. Cat welcomes “all her babies” back to the stage and tells us that there will be no filler tonight. I highly doubt that Cat, or else we’d already know the results. Instead, it’s just going to be a lot of filler but no padding. I’m not exactly sure what that means. Tonight all of our “jidges” are back, which apparently doesn’t include Debbie Allen. Cat asks everyone to sum up the season in one word and shows us that all but one of our judges don’t understand the meaning of “one word” (Yay for Dan Karaty understanding English) and some don’t understand the meaning of “this season” (I’m looking at you Shane Sparks). Also, is Dan Karaty a little person? Even Mary seems to be towering over him. Also, can we please derail the Hot Tamale train before next season?
Video package number one of the night is the highlights of this season. So, highlights mean embarrassing moments? Oh dear god, you really think that Sex guy is a highlight of this season? Shame on you producers. Well, at least they finally segue into the good dancers. It’s all fun to watch again, and it even gave Cat chills.
Everyone is back to dance the Tyce Lion King routine from earlier in the season. I’m pretty sure there was a better dance the entire group could do together. I mean, sure there was no “Ramalama (Bang Bang)”-caliber number this season, but was this really the best group number? I don’t think so. Also, twenty dancers doing one number just makes the stage too crowded. I mean, I understand letting everyone have their moment on stage, but why not break it down into the top 10 dancers and the bottom ten dancers. Then we may actually be able to focus on the dance instead of just a mass of whirling bodies.
Every judge now gets to pick their favorite routine of the season and we get to watch them all again. Mary is first, and she leads us into believing we’re gonna have to watch Cedric plod through another partner number, but instead it turns out it’s Lauren and Pasha’s Transformers hip-hop. Which, frankly, was awesome. It actually seems a little more carefree this time and is more fun to watch. They both seem to be having a lot more fun with the number now that they don’t have to worry about eliminations. Pasha, especially, seems to be a lot looser and jokier. Cat reminds us about the lockdown situation (THIS IS A LOCKDOWN!), and makes up for them not having a proper sendoff by having everyone give them a standing ovation.
Filler video number two is about the range of dancers that they saw in auditions, which range from the bizarre to the pretty awesome to watch. It also features at least one (although I think there was more than one) perverted facial gesture from Nigel. It’s time to bring back the clogger from the auditions for another performance. He’s pretty fun to watch, although I think I’d probably get tired of watching this repeatedly. Also, I gotta give the kid props for clogging to Timbaland. Cat tells us she sniffed his shoes. Cat, that’s just creepy. You’re not Nigel, you don’t have to creep us out.
After pimping American Band, It’s Nigel’s turn to pick his favorite performance and his choice is Hok and Jaimie’s Wade Robson hummingbird routine. Rewatching this, I notice even more the intricate beauty of the movements, from the slight tremor in Jaimie’s flower to the fluttering of Hok’s hands. Hok tells us that people outside of the show really liked the routine as well. Jaimie says the same thing. I don’t doubt that because it clearly is the most distinctive thing they did all season.
Jean-Marc Genereux wants to see Sabra and Dominic’s hip-hop routine. Rewatching this performance of Sabra in a hip-hop piece shows me how I maybe wasn’t right about it last night. Because she’s a lot better in this one than she was in her one with Neil. She still draws the attention a lot more Dominic though. There’s still that great moment though, when he’s just holding her. Dominic says it was a blessing to be Sabra’s partner. I definitely think it would be.
Is it just me or are the commercial breaks excessively long tonight? Adam Shankman’s favorite routine was Sara and Neil’s Disco routine. It’s fun to watch, but I think both of them had better routines this season. Sara does remind me though why I wanted her in the finals instead of Lacey. Although something tragic has apparently happened to her hair. Oh wait; those are just atrocious curly bangs. I truly hope that that hairstyle is dead for good. Just like Disco…
Video filler number 3 is all about breakers. It’s cool to watch this style of dancing, but I’m glad that the show is completely populated by breakers, because most of them can’t handle the other choreography. It ends with Nigel trying to be ghetto, but failing miserably. After the video package, we now get that awesome breaker who had scoliosis, Brian Gaynor. This guy rocks. He actually seems like a little robot. I’m actually really glad that they brought this guy back. I loved his audition, but I understood why they couldn’t put him through. All of the judges but Mia and Shane are standing by the end. Everyone loves him.
The top 8 are now dancing together with Shane Spark’s Matrix hip-hop group number. I didn’t think this routine was great the first time, and I still don’t love it.
It’s time for Wade Robson’s favorite routine. It’s Lacey and Danny’s Samba routine. It’s still sexy, but I still think Lacey has a fundamental problem connecting with her partners. I think it’s because she’s still more focused on the camera than on her partner at times. Danny rocks this one out, as expected. Ooh, it’s time for the first elimination of the night. The dancer who is not America’s favorite is… Lacey. She knew it was coming, and frankly, I think most people did. She’s absolutely fine and is proud of making it this far. Good for her. She gets a video package of her best moments, thanks everyone, and smiles politely until the commercial.
Is Cat’s dress supposed to look like a tutu covered in smog? Is that why she appears to be giving birth to a giant ball of fluff through her belly button?
It’s time for the first musical guest of the night, Nicole from the Pussycat Dolls. Now, I only know this woman as being part of that group of strippers masquerading as musicians who searched for a new stripper last year and took “Veronica Mars” off the air for a large number of weeks. My god, this is bad. It’s blatant that she’s lip-syncing because her mouth actually gets off beat from the lyrics resulting in her mouthing things during spaces when there are no lyrics. Good job Nicole. At least people are dancing in the background. She may actually start singing in the middle, I’m not sure. Either way, it still sucks.
Shane Spark’s favorite routine was Sara and Pasha’s West Coast Swing routine. It’s still a fun routine to watch, and it’s still clearly a Benji creation, involving slides and pandering to the camera. The moment where they seemingly rewind is still awesome. Cat asks if they enjoyed working with Benji, and neither of them seems to remember the experience well.
Tyce’s favorite routines both involved Danny and Anya. The one he picked was Jean-Marc’s waltz number. This number reminds me of why I wanted Anya to make the top 10. Because she’s great, and it definitely takes a lot of talent to not be completely shown up by Danny. Granted this is her style, but she did it in other genres’ too. Oh, and Danny is still awesome.
It’s time for Tony Meredith’s favorite routine. He chose Wade Robson’s awesome deranged cabaret hobos routine with Sara and Jesus. I’d like to point out that this is now Sara’s third time being in a favorite routine. This routine is still awesome, but it’s a Wade Robson routine, so really, what do you expect?
Mia Michaels’ choice is the Mandy Moore Jazz power lunch number with Neil and Sabra. This was a fun routine, but both seem somewhat winded. Neil’s acrobatics aren’t as good as they usually are and Sabra’s energy isn’t as bright as it usually is. It’s time to eliminate one more dancer, and this time the dancer who’s given the ax is… Neil. No surprise again. He also seems to know it was coming. He gets the requisite video package. He loved the experience, does a wookie impression (which causes Cat to jump up and down like a schoolgirl, which is excessively cute), and smiles his way into the commercial break.
When we come back it’s the group Mia Michael’s routine that featured everyone in black doing awesome Mia Michaels movements. It’s beautiful to watch, but it was Mia Michaels, so that was also fully expected.
YES! It’s time for Cat and Nigel dancing. Mary very funnily intros it, saying that they will be the first and possibly last time they dance on the stage. But, instead of a real dance, it’s a cheap video gimmick, where their heads are pasted onto dancing bodies, and poorly dancing bodies at that. You let me down SYTYCD.
It’s time for the second musical performance of the night, this time from Ryan Cabrera. It’s the song they use to say goodbye to the dancers. Again, there’s not really any dancing, so besides relating to the show, there’s really no reason for this performance. Not surprisingly, instead of showing the tepid performance, they intersplice it with clips of people getting eliminated from the show.
It’s time for the final choice of favorite performances, and it’s Dan Karaty’s time to choose a favorite routine. He chooses Lacey and Neil’s Mia Michaels meets her dad in heaven piece, which I was fully expecting to see again, because it was such an emotional piece for her and it’d be really mean of the show not to pick it as one of the favorite routines of the season. Watching this, I realize that I didn’t appreciate this piece nearly enough the first time. It is an extremely beautiful and heartfelt piece, and maybe it didn’t come across as much the first time, but this time it really is something special.
The time is finally here, it’s time to crown our winner. Cat gives them an opportunity for last words to one another. Sabra says she’s privileged to have been able to work with Danny and Danny says roughly the same thing about Sabra. Cat gives a speech to them about how much they’ve both made it so far from their beginning. Americas Favorite Dancer is…. Sabra. She is immediately crying and jumps into Danny’s arms and joins Cat in a scream and gets mobbed by everyone. I have to say that I’m exceptionally pleased with the final two and the winner. I mean, I loved Danny. He’s the best dancer there. But he had an established career (of sorts) before the show began. That being said, this was an awesome season and I look forward to next summer. Thanks for reading my recaps.
Thursday, August 16, 2007
Big Brother 8/16. The Freak Show Continues (And I Don't Just Mean The Houseguests)...
I'd like to preface this post by saying that my last recap was called "totally prejudiced". I responded in the comments, and I'd just like to repeat some of my response here.
I personally don't like Dick and the hate he spews. I think that his repeated verbal threats towards the houseguests should have gotten him kicked out weeks ago. I'm sorry if I offended you as a Dick fan, but I stand by what I said about Dick and Danielle. I don't think that the LNC are great people either. Amber is an emotional trainwreck, Eric can be ridiculously foul towards his houseguests, Dustin's ego does need to be checked, Jameka is hypocritical, and Jessica is a few cents short of a dollar, if you catch my drift. But these flaws, IMO, pale in comparison to what Dick and Danielle do. Jen and Zach are the only two people who I wouldn't vote out of the house right now. So I'm sorry if my Anti-Donato tendencies pissed you off, but I stand by my "totally prejudiced post".
That being said, enjoy another "totally prejudiced" recap...
Previously on BB8, Dick was an asshole, got nominated, continued to be an asshole, won the veto, continued to be an asshole, and vetoed his daughter, allowing BB to edit him as a martyr. Oh, and Jess proved that she’s not the sharpest knife in the drawer and Danielle whined and bitched about how they treat her poorly because of her dad and then walked out as they tried to speak to her. Tonight is another installment in the Chen-Bot diaries, and she’s back tonight in a hideous robot ensemble. And so it begins, with Julie glorifying Dick for going farther for a co-nominee than anyone has ever before. In, like, the history of time, ever, anywhere. Because Dick is just THAT good a person. Will father and daughter be torn apart, as Julie asks? Will the editing get even more biased? I hope the answers are yes and no, respectively, but I somehow doubt that that will be the case. We enter the house where, apparently, everyone has eaten Willy Wonka’s dinner candy that turns everyone into blueberries. Of note, they have not yet ballooned in size. I hope that happens soon, because it would be nice to see some entertainment on BB and THAT would be entertainment. Dustin is nominated, and Danielle is immediately pouting it seems. They show everyone saying how nice a person Dick is and immediately cut to Dustin in the diary room looking like a bad person mocking Dick. Dustin is happy being nominated and thanks Jess. Wow, we’re back in the Diary Room and could they have picked any worse clips to make Dustin look arrogant? This is so ridiculously biased that it’s not even funny anymore. Eric apologizes to Jess for the silent treatment and she eats up every one of his words. And it seems like its time for a date, Big Brother style, with awkward Zach courting Jess seemingly. But it seems to be more strategy talk, and Zach is basically offering himself to Jess to do whatever she wants, and also planting pro-Dick sentiments in her head. Zach says he will vote Dick out unless Jess tells him not to. It’s time for America’s choice, where it’s clear that America hates Eric and wants to screw him over by making him vote out his ally Dustin. Eric doesn’t seem to have caught on to that trend yet though, as he tries his best to awkwardly flirt with Jess and awkwardly convince her to turn on her alliance. Dick, I guess, caught wind of this and is now talking alliance with Eric, calling him logical and a game player. But Dick also thinks he’s a liar and a bad player. Dick never lies, he’s said that before, so I guess it IS possible for someone to think something and it’s exact opposite at the same time. I wonder if Dick can be in two places at once as well? Now THAT’S a scary thought. Eric is now fully trying to convince them to evict Dustin. I must say, Eric did pick the best player to align with as AP, because Jess is very easily convinced. Eric brings up the phrase “honor amongst thieves” and I think two things: 1) isn’t the phrase “No Honor Amongst Thieves”? and 2) Did Eric just admit that he’s a lying little weasel?
The Chen-Bot is back with some questions for the houseguests. Immediately, she asks Dick if he would have used the veto on Danielle earlier in the game and be the awesome dad that he is. I’m surprised that she doesn’t drool on him and promise to make robot love with him as she asks the question. She asks Danielle if she would have reciprocated and Danielle says she hopes she would but it’s clear that she wouldn’t. Jen is happy to have had the slop pass. Amber cries and tells her daughter that she loves her. I wonder if she lovers her as much as the dog though. And now it’s time for our first filler package, with Joe talking about Dustin. He talks about how self-involved Dustin is and how this is accurately depicting how Dustin was in their relationship. To me, this is the pot calling the kettle black, but whatever. They pick the most douche-tastic clips of Dustin and Danielle talking about how right Joe was about him. Also, they use as many clips of Dustin in his king’s cape as possible. We get to see the special visitors this week after the break, but first (Hasn’t Julie worn out this phrase chip yet?), we learn nothing new when the houseguests talk about the nominees. Amber hates Dick, Danielle hates Dustin, Zach says it’s a toss-up, Jen is happy that she can finally vote out someone she dislikes, Eric is America’s bitch, and Jameka isn’t happy about the house’s case of ED.
Chen-Bot welcomes us back for our talk with Jess. She asks Jess about why she was crying in the DR before the veto ceremony, who she trusts the most in the LNC, and whether she’s got a crush on Eric. The answers are that Jen can easily confuse her, Jameka and Eric, and maybe/maybe not. It’s time for our nominee’s to say their final words. Dustin says it’s been fun and he hopes they keep him. Dick says he did what had to do and he misses Carol. Finally, Dick and I actually agree on something (missing Carol). This is very scary to me. Amber is the first vote and, no surprise, evicts Dick. Eric is forced to evict Dustin and sucks up to America for screwing him over. Jameka votes to evict Dick. Danielle evicts Dustin. It’s tied, and as the Chen-Bot’s voice chip trips over her lines, we’re sent to commercial, wondering if Jen and Zach will evict the dick or the arrogant one.
And we’re back with Zach’s vote. He votes to evict Dustin. Uh oh, this isn’t looking good. Jen is last and it’s another vote to evict Dustin, thus evicting him and keeping that hateful prick around for another week of intolerance. Dustin is told the news and looks completely shocked. He gives Amber, Jameka, and Jessica big hugs and walks out the door to the great Chen-Bot in the front yard. Thankfully, Dick is saying nothing. Amber is crying.
It’s time for the Chen-Bot’s interview with Dustin. Dustin admits that he is so stunned, calls Eric sheisty (which, despite being a Jew, I’m not exactly sure is anti-Semitic), and admits that he did actually feel unsure about his safety. I’d definitely have preferred to have Dick gone, but Dustin has way too arrogant and is an idiot for nominating himself and thus also deserves his eviction. He thinks Amber could have handled the Eric thing better, and says that Joe can be pleased all he wants but Dustin outlasted him. In the goodbye messages, Dick laughs arrogantly, Jameka doesn’t think it will be aired, Jen introduces herself, Eric tells him that he’ll be seeing him soon in sequester, Zach calls him on his arrogance, Danielle says nothing of any importance, and Amber cries her way through telling him she loves him so much, despite having slammed gay men as untrustworthy on the live feeds.
It’s time for the HOH competition, but first, video clips! Apparently, this week the houseguests got some strange Alice in Wonderland themed visitors, including a little person spouting wisdom, a barbershop quartet, a pirate on stills (Who, in the funniest moment of the show is chased by the little person wielding a golf club), bunnies with playing cards, and a completely white mime. It’s finally time for the HOH competition, which is true/false questions about the visitors. Jen accidentally eliminates herself first. Dick and Zach are eliminated next. Then Eric gets eliminated, leaving Amber (Ugh) or Danielle (More ugh). Amber gets the next one wrong making More Ugh the new HOH, ensuring more than one week of douchebaggery from Dick and another week of pouting, whining, crying, and bitching in the HOH room. America’s choice is who to get nominated again, and I wouldn’t be surprised to see Jessica there, because America apparently hates Eric more than anyone else. I’m not even gonna bother voting on this one. We rejoin the houseguests in the living room. Dick is already smug about his survival at the hands of America, Amber starts talking about how hard it’ll be without Dustin. But, in a moment of true comedy, the Chen-Bot cuts her off seemingly mid-sentence. As we watch everyone awkwardly meander about, I begin to wonder if anyone would care if the house collapsed, crushing everyone but Jen and Zach. I certainly wouldn’t.
I personally don't like Dick and the hate he spews. I think that his repeated verbal threats towards the houseguests should have gotten him kicked out weeks ago. I'm sorry if I offended you as a Dick fan, but I stand by what I said about Dick and Danielle. I don't think that the LNC are great people either. Amber is an emotional trainwreck, Eric can be ridiculously foul towards his houseguests, Dustin's ego does need to be checked, Jameka is hypocritical, and Jessica is a few cents short of a dollar, if you catch my drift. But these flaws, IMO, pale in comparison to what Dick and Danielle do. Jen and Zach are the only two people who I wouldn't vote out of the house right now. So I'm sorry if my Anti-Donato tendencies pissed you off, but I stand by my "totally prejudiced post".
That being said, enjoy another "totally prejudiced" recap...
Previously on BB8, Dick was an asshole, got nominated, continued to be an asshole, won the veto, continued to be an asshole, and vetoed his daughter, allowing BB to edit him as a martyr. Oh, and Jess proved that she’s not the sharpest knife in the drawer and Danielle whined and bitched about how they treat her poorly because of her dad and then walked out as they tried to speak to her. Tonight is another installment in the Chen-Bot diaries, and she’s back tonight in a hideous robot ensemble. And so it begins, with Julie glorifying Dick for going farther for a co-nominee than anyone has ever before. In, like, the history of time, ever, anywhere. Because Dick is just THAT good a person. Will father and daughter be torn apart, as Julie asks? Will the editing get even more biased? I hope the answers are yes and no, respectively, but I somehow doubt that that will be the case. We enter the house where, apparently, everyone has eaten Willy Wonka’s dinner candy that turns everyone into blueberries. Of note, they have not yet ballooned in size. I hope that happens soon, because it would be nice to see some entertainment on BB and THAT would be entertainment. Dustin is nominated, and Danielle is immediately pouting it seems. They show everyone saying how nice a person Dick is and immediately cut to Dustin in the diary room looking like a bad person mocking Dick. Dustin is happy being nominated and thanks Jess. Wow, we’re back in the Diary Room and could they have picked any worse clips to make Dustin look arrogant? This is so ridiculously biased that it’s not even funny anymore. Eric apologizes to Jess for the silent treatment and she eats up every one of his words. And it seems like its time for a date, Big Brother style, with awkward Zach courting Jess seemingly. But it seems to be more strategy talk, and Zach is basically offering himself to Jess to do whatever she wants, and also planting pro-Dick sentiments in her head. Zach says he will vote Dick out unless Jess tells him not to. It’s time for America’s choice, where it’s clear that America hates Eric and wants to screw him over by making him vote out his ally Dustin. Eric doesn’t seem to have caught on to that trend yet though, as he tries his best to awkwardly flirt with Jess and awkwardly convince her to turn on her alliance. Dick, I guess, caught wind of this and is now talking alliance with Eric, calling him logical and a game player. But Dick also thinks he’s a liar and a bad player. Dick never lies, he’s said that before, so I guess it IS possible for someone to think something and it’s exact opposite at the same time. I wonder if Dick can be in two places at once as well? Now THAT’S a scary thought. Eric is now fully trying to convince them to evict Dustin. I must say, Eric did pick the best player to align with as AP, because Jess is very easily convinced. Eric brings up the phrase “honor amongst thieves” and I think two things: 1) isn’t the phrase “No Honor Amongst Thieves”? and 2) Did Eric just admit that he’s a lying little weasel?
The Chen-Bot is back with some questions for the houseguests. Immediately, she asks Dick if he would have used the veto on Danielle earlier in the game and be the awesome dad that he is. I’m surprised that she doesn’t drool on him and promise to make robot love with him as she asks the question. She asks Danielle if she would have reciprocated and Danielle says she hopes she would but it’s clear that she wouldn’t. Jen is happy to have had the slop pass. Amber cries and tells her daughter that she loves her. I wonder if she lovers her as much as the dog though. And now it’s time for our first filler package, with Joe talking about Dustin. He talks about how self-involved Dustin is and how this is accurately depicting how Dustin was in their relationship. To me, this is the pot calling the kettle black, but whatever. They pick the most douche-tastic clips of Dustin and Danielle talking about how right Joe was about him. Also, they use as many clips of Dustin in his king’s cape as possible. We get to see the special visitors this week after the break, but first (Hasn’t Julie worn out this phrase chip yet?), we learn nothing new when the houseguests talk about the nominees. Amber hates Dick, Danielle hates Dustin, Zach says it’s a toss-up, Jen is happy that she can finally vote out someone she dislikes, Eric is America’s bitch, and Jameka isn’t happy about the house’s case of ED.
Chen-Bot welcomes us back for our talk with Jess. She asks Jess about why she was crying in the DR before the veto ceremony, who she trusts the most in the LNC, and whether she’s got a crush on Eric. The answers are that Jen can easily confuse her, Jameka and Eric, and maybe/maybe not. It’s time for our nominee’s to say their final words. Dustin says it’s been fun and he hopes they keep him. Dick says he did what had to do and he misses Carol. Finally, Dick and I actually agree on something (missing Carol). This is very scary to me. Amber is the first vote and, no surprise, evicts Dick. Eric is forced to evict Dustin and sucks up to America for screwing him over. Jameka votes to evict Dick. Danielle evicts Dustin. It’s tied, and as the Chen-Bot’s voice chip trips over her lines, we’re sent to commercial, wondering if Jen and Zach will evict the dick or the arrogant one.
And we’re back with Zach’s vote. He votes to evict Dustin. Uh oh, this isn’t looking good. Jen is last and it’s another vote to evict Dustin, thus evicting him and keeping that hateful prick around for another week of intolerance. Dustin is told the news and looks completely shocked. He gives Amber, Jameka, and Jessica big hugs and walks out the door to the great Chen-Bot in the front yard. Thankfully, Dick is saying nothing. Amber is crying.
It’s time for the Chen-Bot’s interview with Dustin. Dustin admits that he is so stunned, calls Eric sheisty (which, despite being a Jew, I’m not exactly sure is anti-Semitic), and admits that he did actually feel unsure about his safety. I’d definitely have preferred to have Dick gone, but Dustin has way too arrogant and is an idiot for nominating himself and thus also deserves his eviction. He thinks Amber could have handled the Eric thing better, and says that Joe can be pleased all he wants but Dustin outlasted him. In the goodbye messages, Dick laughs arrogantly, Jameka doesn’t think it will be aired, Jen introduces herself, Eric tells him that he’ll be seeing him soon in sequester, Zach calls him on his arrogance, Danielle says nothing of any importance, and Amber cries her way through telling him she loves him so much, despite having slammed gay men as untrustworthy on the live feeds.
It’s time for the HOH competition, but first, video clips! Apparently, this week the houseguests got some strange Alice in Wonderland themed visitors, including a little person spouting wisdom, a barbershop quartet, a pirate on stills (Who, in the funniest moment of the show is chased by the little person wielding a golf club), bunnies with playing cards, and a completely white mime. It’s finally time for the HOH competition, which is true/false questions about the visitors. Jen accidentally eliminates herself first. Dick and Zach are eliminated next. Then Eric gets eliminated, leaving Amber (Ugh) or Danielle (More ugh). Amber gets the next one wrong making More Ugh the new HOH, ensuring more than one week of douchebaggery from Dick and another week of pouting, whining, crying, and bitching in the HOH room. America’s choice is who to get nominated again, and I wouldn’t be surprised to see Jessica there, because America apparently hates Eric more than anyone else. I’m not even gonna bother voting on this one. We rejoin the houseguests in the living room. Dick is already smug about his survival at the hands of America, Amber starts talking about how hard it’ll be without Dustin. But, in a moment of true comedy, the Chen-Bot cuts her off seemingly mid-sentence. As we watch everyone awkwardly meander about, I begin to wonder if anyone would care if the house collapsed, crushing everyone but Jen and Zach. I certainly wouldn’t.
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
So You Think You Can Dance 8/15. Good Dancing, Poor "Jidging"
Before starting this recap, I'd like to apologize. This is a long one. The finale was two hours, featured 7 dances, 4 solos, and a decent helping of filler. Believe me, I tried to cut it down as much as I could while still feeling thorough enough to fit my style of recaps. I hope you enjoy...
Opening: Cat has apparently gold-leafed herself tonight. I think I get it, because someone’s going to win and get the show’s equivalent of a gold medal? Oh, it’s just because Cat has questionable taste in fashion? Got it. The opening dances from everyone are nothing special. Lacey tries to look sexy, Danny looks talented, Sabra looks adorable, and Neil twirls. Uh oh, Cat is starting to look too tan and botoxed. I hope it’s only because of the dress. We meet our jidges, but I have to compliment her for coming as close to something of a correct pronunciation as possible. I mean, English is only her first language. Nigel leads in to what I’m scared is the first video package of many fillers tonight, but there’s no video, just him pimping the show. We’re already watching Nigel; you don’t need to tell us too. Mary talks about how she loves her job, she screams, and I’m pretty sure the camera actually shakes this time. She also calls Nigel an “English muffin”, which is either cute or creepy, I can’t decide. Dan Karaty is back tonight, and I’m wondering how they wrangled him back considering they’ve only used his choreography once this season (and if I remember, I think they didn’t even like it). Oh, here comes a video package of everyone’s journey, the first of what I’m sure will be an endless chain of filler material, because there are 7 performances and 4 solos, which can take up maybe an hour and 15 minutes. That leaves 45 minutes for me to sit here and think, “Did I really have to see this?” It’s only interesting because we finally see some footage of someone like Sabra’s audition, because they didn’t really show us our top 20’s auditions, save a few bigger names, like Lacey and Hok.
The Everybody Dance: To kick off the show, they’re all dancing together on a Tyce Diorio Broadway routine. He loves them all. Big surprise. The choreography is better than I usually expect from Tyce, but it’s still not brilliant. What is notable about the dance though is that Danny dances circles around Neil and that Sabra can dance circles around Lacey. Nigel wants Lacey to work with her partners more, Danny to bring out the performance inside him, has no critiques for Sabra, and likes that Neil chose to peak now. Mary calls them the Fab 4, which I’m pretty sure is an insult to the living Beatles, and the dead ones if they’re watching. I mean, I like these 4 dancers, but they’re no Beatles. She also calls Tyce “Dr. Feelgood”, which again is either creepy or cute, I can’t decide. Dan tells them to take it to another level if they can. Way to be soft on them Karaty.
There’s more filler about interviews with the contestants. Lacey’s first, and basically admits that she only started dancing again because Benji won and she wanted to ride the coattails of his success.
Lacey: I’m gonna call this solo “If Exotic Dancers Did Ballroom”. It’s a decent ballroom solo, but I’m too distracted by her bra hanging out of her costume and her hiking up her dress at times during the solo, as well as the high-class hooker gloves. The judges mostly like it and her, although Mary is probably the harshest.
Neil and Sabra: They’ve got a Shane Sparks hip-hop routine. It’s not quite either of their genres, and they both look wildly out of place in the video package. No surprise, Sabra rocks this one out. She hits the feeling of the dance just right. The real surprise here for me though is Neil, who actually pulls it off almost as much as Sabra. He plays a little bit too much for the camera though, and I take points off for barely missing Sabra’s head on one of his leaps. Nigel wanted funkier and looser and calls it an iffy start to the evening. Mary calls it fun but didn’t quite like it and expected more. Dan says they’ve both done better hip-hop. Hmm, I wonder if he’s saying that because he choreographed Neil’s previous hip-hop routine (I think). Questions, questions…
Danny and Lacey: They’re dancing a Jean-Marc Genereux Viennese Waltz. Jean-Marc compares his teaching experience to kindergarten. The high point of the video package though is definitely Lacey face planting into Danny’s crotch. It’s fairly beautiful to watch (Not the crotch plant, the dance), but at times it seems like they may have flubbed a bit. I have to take points off though for dancing a Viennese Waltz to Avril Lavigne. Nigel calls it so good, and compliments Lacey on not having a fugly dangling hand. Lacey says that she put a popsicle stick in her glove once, which Danny calls a lie, and Cat tells them to stop their “domestic”. Oh Cat, you and your British slang. Mary loved it as well as says it looked effortless. She stands up and applauds, sparing all our eardrums. Nigel interjects with an awkward crotch joke. Even Cat looks mortified by her co-Brit and asks Dan to bring some decorum. Dan loves it as well, and is shocked that they have range.
Filler interview number two comes from Neil who tells us of his gymnastics background and that he just kind of improv-ed his way to the top. Neil also likes when the girls scream.
Neil: True to form, Neil twirls and leaps. Really, I don’t have anything to say. He twirls and leaps well, but he doesn’t prove he can do anything else substantially. The judges like him and use a variety of positive adjectives.
Sabra and Lacey: The girls have a Wade Robson routine about foxes (Ow Ow!). Oh wait, you mean animal foxes. Wade acts ridiculous and makes me think that’s he’s probably on any number of drugs at the moment. Why is Wade Robson such an awesome choreographer? I still remember his dance-by-numbers tape that he put out. I thought that in order to put one of those out, you kind of had to be a hack. But this routine just rocks. It’s part Kabuki, part pure awesome. Nigel calls it just extraordinary, but says that if it hadn’t been for the package, he wouldn’t have known what was going on. He finds it difficult to critique though. Thanks for nothing Nigel. Mary didn’t think it showcased their talents and also has no idea how to judge it. Wow, really informative panel on this one. Dan thinks some people will love it and some people won’t. That makes 3 for 3 in terms of sucking at judging on this one. Or should I say “jidging”
Filler interview number 3! It’s Danny’s turn, and we find out about his mom and his relationship to Travis and how his arrogance is just him being misunderstood.
Danny: He puts it all out there and outshines Neil in athleticism and everyone else in general dancing. He’s just amazing. The only thing I would say bad is that if you’re being accused of arrogance, “We Are The Champions” may not be your best song choice. He gets a standing ovation from all three judges and most of the audience. They just love it, love it, love it and they should. There’s even a Mary Murphy scream thrown in there. Cat sums it up in one word: “Brilliant.”
Danny and Neil: They’ve got a Mia Michaels contemporary routine about two princes battling for a throne. I’m already highly anticipating this. Danny says they’re trying to up the masculinity. Unfortunately, the dance doesn’t quite live up to the hype. When they’re sitting in the chairs doing subtle movements in the beginning is much better than when they’re actually dancing. I’m pretty sure Neil missed a move in the beginning, which made Danny pause for a moment. I think the reason its better in the beginning is because both guys are good actors, and the acting is played up in the beginning. Danny is again the better dancer though. Nigel thinks it was great. Mary screams that she loved it for no particular reason. Dan uses the word insane repeatedly.
Filler interview number four is Sabra’s turn. She likes traveling and is a wild person. Oh, and all the falls weren’t completely Dominic’s fault. And I finally figure out why two people were missing from the Hairspray opening number. Because Dom dropped Sabra on her head. Ouch.
Sabra: Sabra brings just kind of a raw energy on the stage and it’s refreshing to watch something so pure and heartfelt out there, compared to something like Lacey’s forced sexuality. The words “miracle” and “absolutely amazing” are bandied about.
Lacey and Neil: They’ve got a Lindy Hop, which to me seems a little unfair, given that I’m pretty sure that this is Lacey’s style and it’s the first time they’ve ever done it on the show. Favoritism or just poor planning? You be the judge. Well, I guess I was wrong because this seems more like it was intended to screw both over. They seem utterly disconnected, the footwork is shoddy at times, and it’s clear that Lacey botched the choreography in the very beginning. They did nail most of the hard flips though. It does look really difficult, though, so I’ll give them both somewhat of a pass. Nigel thinks it was good. Mary thinks they pulled it off well, and because it was so difficult she gives them part of a pass as well. Apparently, this isn’t Lacey’s thing after all. Dan calls this what he was waiting for all night and says that if someone wasn’t entertained by that then they’re a boring person. Color me boring Dan Karaty, because I thought it was one of the weaker dances of the night.
Sabra and Danny: They’re closing the night with a Cha Cha from Melanie, the red-haired assistant who danced with Pasha when Jessi collapsed. They’re both super-excited to work with one another. I’m super-excited that they’re working together. This is kind of my dream pairing. It’s not as fast moving as I hoped for, but it’s so awesome and sexy and just fun to watch. Lacey tries to pull off sexy, but Sabra has it. Boy does she have it. Also, they seem to genuinely be having fun doing this, more than any other number of the night. It’s a great number to end the season on. Nigel says that the technical aspects weren’t great, but it’s all right, because they’ve got good personalities. Mary also comments that technically they weren’t great, but they picked it up in the middle and nailed it by the end. Dan repeats again that he doesn’t know the technical aspects (seemingly of any dance style besides his own), but thought that it was great.
There was so much dancing tonight that I’m not gonna rank the dances so much as the dancers (These are for tonight, although they happen to be the same way I’d rate them cumulatively):
1) Danny
2) Sabra
3) Lacey
4) Neil
As much as I love Danny and think he’s the best dancer, I’m rooting for Sabra for the win, because Danny is kind of an established dancer and already has a career. Nigel reminds us to take into account the whole season and wants a girl to win, but says he thinks they all deserve it. Neil looked pissed during the whole “girl to win” comment though. Mary thinks they all deserve a good night’s sleep. Dan says something about their growth, but I’m too distracted because I suddenly noticed that Cat’s legs seem to be taking over her body. And frankly, I don’t mind. Tomorrow night features everyone’s favorite dances and special guests, as well as Cat and Nigel dancing together. Well, that just turned into a must watch event.
Opening: Cat has apparently gold-leafed herself tonight. I think I get it, because someone’s going to win and get the show’s equivalent of a gold medal? Oh, it’s just because Cat has questionable taste in fashion? Got it. The opening dances from everyone are nothing special. Lacey tries to look sexy, Danny looks talented, Sabra looks adorable, and Neil twirls. Uh oh, Cat is starting to look too tan and botoxed. I hope it’s only because of the dress. We meet our jidges, but I have to compliment her for coming as close to something of a correct pronunciation as possible. I mean, English is only her first language. Nigel leads in to what I’m scared is the first video package of many fillers tonight, but there’s no video, just him pimping the show. We’re already watching Nigel; you don’t need to tell us too. Mary talks about how she loves her job, she screams, and I’m pretty sure the camera actually shakes this time. She also calls Nigel an “English muffin”, which is either cute or creepy, I can’t decide. Dan Karaty is back tonight, and I’m wondering how they wrangled him back considering they’ve only used his choreography once this season (and if I remember, I think they didn’t even like it). Oh, here comes a video package of everyone’s journey, the first of what I’m sure will be an endless chain of filler material, because there are 7 performances and 4 solos, which can take up maybe an hour and 15 minutes. That leaves 45 minutes for me to sit here and think, “Did I really have to see this?” It’s only interesting because we finally see some footage of someone like Sabra’s audition, because they didn’t really show us our top 20’s auditions, save a few bigger names, like Lacey and Hok.
The Everybody Dance: To kick off the show, they’re all dancing together on a Tyce Diorio Broadway routine. He loves them all. Big surprise. The choreography is better than I usually expect from Tyce, but it’s still not brilliant. What is notable about the dance though is that Danny dances circles around Neil and that Sabra can dance circles around Lacey. Nigel wants Lacey to work with her partners more, Danny to bring out the performance inside him, has no critiques for Sabra, and likes that Neil chose to peak now. Mary calls them the Fab 4, which I’m pretty sure is an insult to the living Beatles, and the dead ones if they’re watching. I mean, I like these 4 dancers, but they’re no Beatles. She also calls Tyce “Dr. Feelgood”, which again is either creepy or cute, I can’t decide. Dan tells them to take it to another level if they can. Way to be soft on them Karaty.
There’s more filler about interviews with the contestants. Lacey’s first, and basically admits that she only started dancing again because Benji won and she wanted to ride the coattails of his success.
Lacey: I’m gonna call this solo “If Exotic Dancers Did Ballroom”. It’s a decent ballroom solo, but I’m too distracted by her bra hanging out of her costume and her hiking up her dress at times during the solo, as well as the high-class hooker gloves. The judges mostly like it and her, although Mary is probably the harshest.
Neil and Sabra: They’ve got a Shane Sparks hip-hop routine. It’s not quite either of their genres, and they both look wildly out of place in the video package. No surprise, Sabra rocks this one out. She hits the feeling of the dance just right. The real surprise here for me though is Neil, who actually pulls it off almost as much as Sabra. He plays a little bit too much for the camera though, and I take points off for barely missing Sabra’s head on one of his leaps. Nigel wanted funkier and looser and calls it an iffy start to the evening. Mary calls it fun but didn’t quite like it and expected more. Dan says they’ve both done better hip-hop. Hmm, I wonder if he’s saying that because he choreographed Neil’s previous hip-hop routine (I think). Questions, questions…
Danny and Lacey: They’re dancing a Jean-Marc Genereux Viennese Waltz. Jean-Marc compares his teaching experience to kindergarten. The high point of the video package though is definitely Lacey face planting into Danny’s crotch. It’s fairly beautiful to watch (Not the crotch plant, the dance), but at times it seems like they may have flubbed a bit. I have to take points off though for dancing a Viennese Waltz to Avril Lavigne. Nigel calls it so good, and compliments Lacey on not having a fugly dangling hand. Lacey says that she put a popsicle stick in her glove once, which Danny calls a lie, and Cat tells them to stop their “domestic”. Oh Cat, you and your British slang. Mary loved it as well as says it looked effortless. She stands up and applauds, sparing all our eardrums. Nigel interjects with an awkward crotch joke. Even Cat looks mortified by her co-Brit and asks Dan to bring some decorum. Dan loves it as well, and is shocked that they have range.
Filler interview number two comes from Neil who tells us of his gymnastics background and that he just kind of improv-ed his way to the top. Neil also likes when the girls scream.
Neil: True to form, Neil twirls and leaps. Really, I don’t have anything to say. He twirls and leaps well, but he doesn’t prove he can do anything else substantially. The judges like him and use a variety of positive adjectives.
Sabra and Lacey: The girls have a Wade Robson routine about foxes (Ow Ow!). Oh wait, you mean animal foxes. Wade acts ridiculous and makes me think that’s he’s probably on any number of drugs at the moment. Why is Wade Robson such an awesome choreographer? I still remember his dance-by-numbers tape that he put out. I thought that in order to put one of those out, you kind of had to be a hack. But this routine just rocks. It’s part Kabuki, part pure awesome. Nigel calls it just extraordinary, but says that if it hadn’t been for the package, he wouldn’t have known what was going on. He finds it difficult to critique though. Thanks for nothing Nigel. Mary didn’t think it showcased their talents and also has no idea how to judge it. Wow, really informative panel on this one. Dan thinks some people will love it and some people won’t. That makes 3 for 3 in terms of sucking at judging on this one. Or should I say “jidging”
Filler interview number 3! It’s Danny’s turn, and we find out about his mom and his relationship to Travis and how his arrogance is just him being misunderstood.
Danny: He puts it all out there and outshines Neil in athleticism and everyone else in general dancing. He’s just amazing. The only thing I would say bad is that if you’re being accused of arrogance, “We Are The Champions” may not be your best song choice. He gets a standing ovation from all three judges and most of the audience. They just love it, love it, love it and they should. There’s even a Mary Murphy scream thrown in there. Cat sums it up in one word: “Brilliant.”
Danny and Neil: They’ve got a Mia Michaels contemporary routine about two princes battling for a throne. I’m already highly anticipating this. Danny says they’re trying to up the masculinity. Unfortunately, the dance doesn’t quite live up to the hype. When they’re sitting in the chairs doing subtle movements in the beginning is much better than when they’re actually dancing. I’m pretty sure Neil missed a move in the beginning, which made Danny pause for a moment. I think the reason its better in the beginning is because both guys are good actors, and the acting is played up in the beginning. Danny is again the better dancer though. Nigel thinks it was great. Mary screams that she loved it for no particular reason. Dan uses the word insane repeatedly.
Filler interview number four is Sabra’s turn. She likes traveling and is a wild person. Oh, and all the falls weren’t completely Dominic’s fault. And I finally figure out why two people were missing from the Hairspray opening number. Because Dom dropped Sabra on her head. Ouch.
Sabra: Sabra brings just kind of a raw energy on the stage and it’s refreshing to watch something so pure and heartfelt out there, compared to something like Lacey’s forced sexuality. The words “miracle” and “absolutely amazing” are bandied about.
Lacey and Neil: They’ve got a Lindy Hop, which to me seems a little unfair, given that I’m pretty sure that this is Lacey’s style and it’s the first time they’ve ever done it on the show. Favoritism or just poor planning? You be the judge. Well, I guess I was wrong because this seems more like it was intended to screw both over. They seem utterly disconnected, the footwork is shoddy at times, and it’s clear that Lacey botched the choreography in the very beginning. They did nail most of the hard flips though. It does look really difficult, though, so I’ll give them both somewhat of a pass. Nigel thinks it was good. Mary thinks they pulled it off well, and because it was so difficult she gives them part of a pass as well. Apparently, this isn’t Lacey’s thing after all. Dan calls this what he was waiting for all night and says that if someone wasn’t entertained by that then they’re a boring person. Color me boring Dan Karaty, because I thought it was one of the weaker dances of the night.
Sabra and Danny: They’re closing the night with a Cha Cha from Melanie, the red-haired assistant who danced with Pasha when Jessi collapsed. They’re both super-excited to work with one another. I’m super-excited that they’re working together. This is kind of my dream pairing. It’s not as fast moving as I hoped for, but it’s so awesome and sexy and just fun to watch. Lacey tries to pull off sexy, but Sabra has it. Boy does she have it. Also, they seem to genuinely be having fun doing this, more than any other number of the night. It’s a great number to end the season on. Nigel says that the technical aspects weren’t great, but it’s all right, because they’ve got good personalities. Mary also comments that technically they weren’t great, but they picked it up in the middle and nailed it by the end. Dan repeats again that he doesn’t know the technical aspects (seemingly of any dance style besides his own), but thought that it was great.
There was so much dancing tonight that I’m not gonna rank the dances so much as the dancers (These are for tonight, although they happen to be the same way I’d rate them cumulatively):
1) Danny
2) Sabra
3) Lacey
4) Neil
As much as I love Danny and think he’s the best dancer, I’m rooting for Sabra for the win, because Danny is kind of an established dancer and already has a career. Nigel reminds us to take into account the whole season and wants a girl to win, but says he thinks they all deserve it. Neil looked pissed during the whole “girl to win” comment though. Mary thinks they all deserve a good night’s sleep. Dan says something about their growth, but I’m too distracted because I suddenly noticed that Cat’s legs seem to be taking over her body. And frankly, I don’t mind. Tomorrow night features everyone’s favorite dances and special guests, as well as Cat and Nigel dancing together. Well, that just turned into a must watch event.
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
Big Brother 8/14. Can We Veto Dick's Existence?
Before getting into the recap, I want to say two things:
1)This recap contains adult lanugage and may not be suitable for young readers.
2)There was no recap Saturday because it started late where I was and it was either miss the end of Big Brother or the beginning of John From Cincinnati. Well, I chose to see all of John because that makes me feel like a good person, whereas watching BB, i feel like I need to take a shower. So I didn't see all of it, and therefore did not want to only give you a partial recap. Sorry if anyone was looking for it.
Anyhoo, on to the recap:
Previously on BB8, Dick was tricked and, as a result, became a raving sourpuss, Jessica won HOH, Dick validated his being a raging asshole as being a good dad, Big Brother continued editing him as a martyr, and Jessica put the Donato family on the block, to the cheers of MOST everyone who watches the live feeds and sees what a truly atrocious person Dick is. We enter the house in blue as the nomination ceremony ends. Immediately, they start editing Dick as a sacrificial lamb. Danielle tells us that she hates hypocrites and liars, which means she must hate her entire family, including herself. Which would make her even more a hypocrite than before, wouldn’t it? Dick says that they’re not good enough liars, which I’m pretty sure is a lie. He tells her to trust Zach, and acts all good father, which is complete bullshit. I just want to apologize to any Dick fans that read this blog because 1) I loathe the man and will make it perfectly clear and 2) I’m guessing/hoping you’re uninformed as to his real personality. Jen comes up to the HOH room and it’s (Jazz Hands) AWKWARD, as everyone falls silent. Danielle now is fully exploiting her father and making sure that he’ll use the POV on her. Ooh, it’s time for punk rock riffs, which means they’re gonna show Dick as the cool anti-hero who’s tormenting everyone. To their credit they show how much he’s assaulting everyone, but to their discredit, they cut out the parts that would make any human being with a modicum of a soul hate him. I mean, I really wish everyone could see the unedited feeds of this, where Dick calls Dustin “princess”, “queen”, and “fag” and discusses his “bloody asshole” and how he’s going to “fuck him till he bleeds”, calls Amber and Eric both Meth addicts, assaults Amber’s mothering skills, assaults Jameka’s religion, and Jessica’s body. While Danielle does nothing but sit and not say anything or apologize for her father’s absolutely deplorable behavior. By typing these words, I do not condone any of these words, I’m just typing what Dick says in order to show how his behavior is out of control and should not be tolerated by viewers, producers, or anyone with a conscience.
It’s time to pick players for the Power of Veto, and the three chosen houseguests are Jameka, Dustin, and Zach. Everyone is separated into different parts of the house. The competition involves croquet and drinking disgusting things, like a bacon, egg, and OJ drink as well as “Big Brother Blood”, which I desperately hope is just wine. Everyone gets their drink on. Zach creeps my out by trying the “BB Blood” saying it smells like blood, then that it tastes like blood. No wonder people find him creepy. Danielle complains about some of the drinks. That’s not out of the ordinary, but it’s fun to watch her retch. Dick drinks to his rock riff as well, and they edit him as the hero. I’m really starting to hate you Big Brother. If you keep up this incredibly slanted editing, I’m not gonna be able to keep watching this show. The second part of the competition involves playing croquet. Zach is up first and gets three shots, earning 6 points. Jameka is next, has 4 shots, and gets 10 points. Jess is up next with 5 shots, and earns 17 points. Danielle is next with 7 shots, which gets her a total of 20 points. Dustin drank all 10 concoctions, and gets a total of 32 points. Dick is last, and I’m surprised that the producers don’t give him extra shots because they love him so much. But with his ten shots, he manages to earn 33 points, unfortunately winning him to power of veto. He immediately launches into calling Dustin “princess” again and antagonizing Jameka by thanking Jesus. I fucking hate this man. I understand maybe a fifth of his behavior as trying to rile the competition before the veto games, but to continue it while he’s shooting and directly afterwards, when he knows he’s won the power of veto and therefore he doesn’t necessarily have to make everyone hate him to make sure his daughter stays in the house, he continues to just be a gigantic douchebag. There is no excuse for his behavior, and the producers are at fault for anything he does at this point. Because I’m about 95% sure he’s gonna hit someone at some point.
As soon as we come back, Dick walks into the house and the rock riff comes back and starts antagonizing Dustin and, as Dustin points out “acted like the very mature 44 year old man he is.” To be fair though, Dustin, you weren’t very mature after the HOH competition. Jameka calls him Satan in the house. Everyone, including Zach and Jen, retreats to the HOH room. Jameka apparently gets into a fight with Danielle, where Danielle asks, “what have I done to you?” Jameka tries to respond, Danielle tells her to stop cutting her off, they move to the bathroom, Jameka tries to talk, and Danielle walks away. Danielle then goes up to HOH and whines to everyone and says that she’s apologized, something I have never, ever, seen her do. Danielle complains and whines and bitches about her Dad and about how they all hate her because of her dad. As soon as they try to bring up the fact that she’s an antisocial whiny little pouty bitch, and she immediately tells them that it’s not about her, it’s about her dad. But didn’t the discussion just start about her and not her dad? She and Jameka go at it, and Jameka points out that Danielle is only civil when it’s convenient for her. Eric interjects and says almost exactly what I just said (except they cut out when he assaulted Jessica’s figure). Danielle whines some more, says they don’t understand, whines about how it’s so frustrating, whines about how she doesn’t want sympathy (I smell bullshit), and then basically leaves. Immediately in the diary room Danielle says its part how she’s feeling and part strategy. To which I say: Fuck you Danielle. You and your dad can go be foul human beings off my television. How you ever tricked Nick into thinking you’re a decent human being I’ll never know. Danielle immediately goes and pow-wows with Dad (what they just accused her of always doing), talks about how she hates everyone, and cries. So, yeah, pretty much normal Danielle behavior. They play the “good guy” music as Dick comforts her. I hate these fucking editors.
We’re back in the HOH room where Eric’s America’s Player task falls into his lap, courtesy of Dustin offering himself on the block, which would be the dumbest thing the LNC could do. Because they need to make sure they have the votes to evict Dick. And Eric should definitely know better. This time, his America’s choice task was to give a houseguest the silent treatment. He has to give it to Jessica. He does this by hiding from Jessica and pretending to be asleep. Good job, Eric. Jen asks very forlornly if she’s going up, and Jess tells her that Dustin basically offered himself up. Jen looks relieved, but points out that Dustin and Dick may have a deal because offering yourself up is so ridiculously stupid. Jess goes to talk to Eric and Eric talks to her and fails. Jessica goes up into her HOH room and acts like a woman scorned, and folds Eric into the fake Dick-Dustin deal. She seems on the verge of tears and I say "Fuck you America," because Jess is one of the most tolerable players in the house and you brought her to tears. Wow, this is turning into quite an angry post, isn’t it?
It’s time for the POV ceremony, where Dick tells us that he always knew he was going to use the veto on Danielle. Except for that time where he was contemplating using it on himself. But God forbid BB shows us that. Danielle says that it’s tough for her to ask him to use it on her, full well knowing he plans to use it on her. He vetoes Danielle, and Jessica is forced to nominate someone. She ch-ch-chooses Dustin, who neglects his “sitting next to a sack of shit” speech to just sit there quietly. Dustin fakes crying in the DR and says he’s not scared. Dick is glad because the pawn usually goes home. Danielle admits that she always knew she was gonna get vetoed and acts very smug. I guess the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. Please, America. Vote for Eric to evict Dick. He has gone too far, and he needs to go home.
1)This recap contains adult lanugage and may not be suitable for young readers.
2)There was no recap Saturday because it started late where I was and it was either miss the end of Big Brother or the beginning of John From Cincinnati. Well, I chose to see all of John because that makes me feel like a good person, whereas watching BB, i feel like I need to take a shower. So I didn't see all of it, and therefore did not want to only give you a partial recap. Sorry if anyone was looking for it.
Anyhoo, on to the recap:
Previously on BB8, Dick was tricked and, as a result, became a raving sourpuss, Jessica won HOH, Dick validated his being a raging asshole as being a good dad, Big Brother continued editing him as a martyr, and Jessica put the Donato family on the block, to the cheers of MOST everyone who watches the live feeds and sees what a truly atrocious person Dick is. We enter the house in blue as the nomination ceremony ends. Immediately, they start editing Dick as a sacrificial lamb. Danielle tells us that she hates hypocrites and liars, which means she must hate her entire family, including herself. Which would make her even more a hypocrite than before, wouldn’t it? Dick says that they’re not good enough liars, which I’m pretty sure is a lie. He tells her to trust Zach, and acts all good father, which is complete bullshit. I just want to apologize to any Dick fans that read this blog because 1) I loathe the man and will make it perfectly clear and 2) I’m guessing/hoping you’re uninformed as to his real personality. Jen comes up to the HOH room and it’s (Jazz Hands) AWKWARD, as everyone falls silent. Danielle now is fully exploiting her father and making sure that he’ll use the POV on her. Ooh, it’s time for punk rock riffs, which means they’re gonna show Dick as the cool anti-hero who’s tormenting everyone. To their credit they show how much he’s assaulting everyone, but to their discredit, they cut out the parts that would make any human being with a modicum of a soul hate him. I mean, I really wish everyone could see the unedited feeds of this, where Dick calls Dustin “princess”, “queen”, and “fag” and discusses his “bloody asshole” and how he’s going to “fuck him till he bleeds”, calls Amber and Eric both Meth addicts, assaults Amber’s mothering skills, assaults Jameka’s religion, and Jessica’s body. While Danielle does nothing but sit and not say anything or apologize for her father’s absolutely deplorable behavior. By typing these words, I do not condone any of these words, I’m just typing what Dick says in order to show how his behavior is out of control and should not be tolerated by viewers, producers, or anyone with a conscience.
It’s time to pick players for the Power of Veto, and the three chosen houseguests are Jameka, Dustin, and Zach. Everyone is separated into different parts of the house. The competition involves croquet and drinking disgusting things, like a bacon, egg, and OJ drink as well as “Big Brother Blood”, which I desperately hope is just wine. Everyone gets their drink on. Zach creeps my out by trying the “BB Blood” saying it smells like blood, then that it tastes like blood. No wonder people find him creepy. Danielle complains about some of the drinks. That’s not out of the ordinary, but it’s fun to watch her retch. Dick drinks to his rock riff as well, and they edit him as the hero. I’m really starting to hate you Big Brother. If you keep up this incredibly slanted editing, I’m not gonna be able to keep watching this show. The second part of the competition involves playing croquet. Zach is up first and gets three shots, earning 6 points. Jameka is next, has 4 shots, and gets 10 points. Jess is up next with 5 shots, and earns 17 points. Danielle is next with 7 shots, which gets her a total of 20 points. Dustin drank all 10 concoctions, and gets a total of 32 points. Dick is last, and I’m surprised that the producers don’t give him extra shots because they love him so much. But with his ten shots, he manages to earn 33 points, unfortunately winning him to power of veto. He immediately launches into calling Dustin “princess” again and antagonizing Jameka by thanking Jesus. I fucking hate this man. I understand maybe a fifth of his behavior as trying to rile the competition before the veto games, but to continue it while he’s shooting and directly afterwards, when he knows he’s won the power of veto and therefore he doesn’t necessarily have to make everyone hate him to make sure his daughter stays in the house, he continues to just be a gigantic douchebag. There is no excuse for his behavior, and the producers are at fault for anything he does at this point. Because I’m about 95% sure he’s gonna hit someone at some point.
As soon as we come back, Dick walks into the house and the rock riff comes back and starts antagonizing Dustin and, as Dustin points out “acted like the very mature 44 year old man he is.” To be fair though, Dustin, you weren’t very mature after the HOH competition. Jameka calls him Satan in the house. Everyone, including Zach and Jen, retreats to the HOH room. Jameka apparently gets into a fight with Danielle, where Danielle asks, “what have I done to you?” Jameka tries to respond, Danielle tells her to stop cutting her off, they move to the bathroom, Jameka tries to talk, and Danielle walks away. Danielle then goes up to HOH and whines to everyone and says that she’s apologized, something I have never, ever, seen her do. Danielle complains and whines and bitches about her Dad and about how they all hate her because of her dad. As soon as they try to bring up the fact that she’s an antisocial whiny little pouty bitch, and she immediately tells them that it’s not about her, it’s about her dad. But didn’t the discussion just start about her and not her dad? She and Jameka go at it, and Jameka points out that Danielle is only civil when it’s convenient for her. Eric interjects and says almost exactly what I just said (except they cut out when he assaulted Jessica’s figure). Danielle whines some more, says they don’t understand, whines about how it’s so frustrating, whines about how she doesn’t want sympathy (I smell bullshit), and then basically leaves. Immediately in the diary room Danielle says its part how she’s feeling and part strategy. To which I say: Fuck you Danielle. You and your dad can go be foul human beings off my television. How you ever tricked Nick into thinking you’re a decent human being I’ll never know. Danielle immediately goes and pow-wows with Dad (what they just accused her of always doing), talks about how she hates everyone, and cries. So, yeah, pretty much normal Danielle behavior. They play the “good guy” music as Dick comforts her. I hate these fucking editors.
We’re back in the HOH room where Eric’s America’s Player task falls into his lap, courtesy of Dustin offering himself on the block, which would be the dumbest thing the LNC could do. Because they need to make sure they have the votes to evict Dick. And Eric should definitely know better. This time, his America’s choice task was to give a houseguest the silent treatment. He has to give it to Jessica. He does this by hiding from Jessica and pretending to be asleep. Good job, Eric. Jen asks very forlornly if she’s going up, and Jess tells her that Dustin basically offered himself up. Jen looks relieved, but points out that Dustin and Dick may have a deal because offering yourself up is so ridiculously stupid. Jess goes to talk to Eric and Eric talks to her and fails. Jessica goes up into her HOH room and acts like a woman scorned, and folds Eric into the fake Dick-Dustin deal. She seems on the verge of tears and I say "Fuck you America," because Jess is one of the most tolerable players in the house and you brought her to tears. Wow, this is turning into quite an angry post, isn’t it?
It’s time for the POV ceremony, where Dick tells us that he always knew he was going to use the veto on Danielle. Except for that time where he was contemplating using it on himself. But God forbid BB shows us that. Danielle says that it’s tough for her to ask him to use it on her, full well knowing he plans to use it on her. He vetoes Danielle, and Jessica is forced to nominate someone. She ch-ch-chooses Dustin, who neglects his “sitting next to a sack of shit” speech to just sit there quietly. Dustin fakes crying in the DR and says he’s not scared. Dick is glad because the pawn usually goes home. Danielle admits that she always knew she was gonna get vetoed and acts very smug. I guess the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. Please, America. Vote for Eric to evict Dick. He has gone too far, and he needs to go home.
On The Lot 8/14. The Finale Part One, aka Clip Show
Adrianna immediately reminds us that we’re down to three marginally talented directors tonight, and that this is the first part of the finale. As she stands there I notice that she has one really awkward hand. It just kind of hangs there. It draws the attention. Adrianna trips over her lines and takes us to the clearly staged directors sitting on the couch discussing about who’s nervous. No surprise, everyone is! Because no one is talented enough to know that they have a spot in the finale. Adrianna tells us that it was the biggest public vote yet, meaning that more than 10 votes were cast. Wow On The Lot! Instead of cutting someone, she tells them who made it. The first director in is Will, to mild audience applause. The second director in is Adam to still mild applause. The final director in is Jason, to much louder applause, meaning Sam is cut. Sam calls the experience invaluable. Tonight the directors are not making new movies. Why the hell are we watching this then? If there’s no new content, I’m really at a loss to recap. So this is gonna be a short one readers. All three are in what I truly hope is not their best, especially because Jason seems like a he was dressed by the main character of his first movie. Our village idiots, ahem, “judges” are still around, and Carrie is sporting Garry’s head on a popsicle stick. I’m not sure to be happy or horrified about this. It’s a combination of both.
Ooh, but we still have to wait, because it’s time for pointless video packages about the directors and their “journeys”. Remember when Jason made the movie about the retarded guy who went to hell? Remember when Adam made that mildly funny dance movie? Remember when Will made the movie about mutilating surgical patients? Well, if you didn’t, know you do. Adrianna asks them questions, and Jason uses this opportunity to cry and try to get sympathy votes. Will comments about how he finally used dialogue. Adam likes that they liked his last movie. I mean, I know that On The Lot is a crappy show, but can we get better questions than these generic ones?
Jason is up first. The first movie he picked is his movie from horror week, about the buxom mom whose dead kid saves her from getting stabbed. I guess this was one of Jason’s better works, but that’s not saying all that much. It’s mildly proficiently shot, but it wasn’t remotely scary. The second movie he chose was “Sweet” which is about the guy who forgets his anniversary. It’s mildly entertaining, and mildly well done. See, I’m using the word “mildly” a lot because Jason is a mildly talented director. Mildly on the side of not, that is. Garry thinks that the ancient Greeks made films. Oh, Garry… He asks Jason why he wants to be a director. Jason plays the Kentucky card, the tears card, and the no formal training card. Wow, he’s playing tough for some of the voting groups.
Will is second. The first movie he chose, after telling us he loves all his work, is “Glass Eye”, about the guy who sees through his glass eye when he covers his eye. It’s still a cute, wordless work from Will. These are his best types of films though. If he were going to do one of those though, I would have preferred the absolutely adorable and cute lamp one. His second movie is the guys in dresses one. It’s not as good as his no dialogue movies. It’s got a few good moments, but it’s not one of his best two works. Carrie loves his child-like spirit. Will wants to be a director because it feels right when he’s behind the camera, like all the pieces fit into place. Good answer Will. But then he goes for the sympathy vote as well, reiterating the family aspect of the show. I hate pandering.
Adam is last. The first movie he chose was his musical movie. It’s better than I remember it being actually. It’s fun, and the lyrics are pretty good. The second movie he’s showing is “Army Guy”, which was his surreal but pretty darn fantastic movie from last week. Rewatching it knowing the ending, it really is even better. Carrie calls him a complete original. Instead of asking him why he wants to be a director, they ask him what he would do if he won the competition. He, instead, answers the question that the other two got. Good job listening, Adam.
One last time, they ask Carrie and Garry whom they want to win. Carrie wants Will, Garry wants Jason. Frankly, I think Adam’s the most talented one there.
Ooh, but we still have to wait, because it’s time for pointless video packages about the directors and their “journeys”. Remember when Jason made the movie about the retarded guy who went to hell? Remember when Adam made that mildly funny dance movie? Remember when Will made the movie about mutilating surgical patients? Well, if you didn’t, know you do. Adrianna asks them questions, and Jason uses this opportunity to cry and try to get sympathy votes. Will comments about how he finally used dialogue. Adam likes that they liked his last movie. I mean, I know that On The Lot is a crappy show, but can we get better questions than these generic ones?
Jason is up first. The first movie he picked is his movie from horror week, about the buxom mom whose dead kid saves her from getting stabbed. I guess this was one of Jason’s better works, but that’s not saying all that much. It’s mildly proficiently shot, but it wasn’t remotely scary. The second movie he chose was “Sweet” which is about the guy who forgets his anniversary. It’s mildly entertaining, and mildly well done. See, I’m using the word “mildly” a lot because Jason is a mildly talented director. Mildly on the side of not, that is. Garry thinks that the ancient Greeks made films. Oh, Garry… He asks Jason why he wants to be a director. Jason plays the Kentucky card, the tears card, and the no formal training card. Wow, he’s playing tough for some of the voting groups.
Will is second. The first movie he chose, after telling us he loves all his work, is “Glass Eye”, about the guy who sees through his glass eye when he covers his eye. It’s still a cute, wordless work from Will. These are his best types of films though. If he were going to do one of those though, I would have preferred the absolutely adorable and cute lamp one. His second movie is the guys in dresses one. It’s not as good as his no dialogue movies. It’s got a few good moments, but it’s not one of his best two works. Carrie loves his child-like spirit. Will wants to be a director because it feels right when he’s behind the camera, like all the pieces fit into place. Good answer Will. But then he goes for the sympathy vote as well, reiterating the family aspect of the show. I hate pandering.
Adam is last. The first movie he chose was his musical movie. It’s better than I remember it being actually. It’s fun, and the lyrics are pretty good. The second movie he’s showing is “Army Guy”, which was his surreal but pretty darn fantastic movie from last week. Rewatching it knowing the ending, it really is even better. Carrie calls him a complete original. Instead of asking him why he wants to be a director, they ask him what he would do if he won the competition. He, instead, answers the question that the other two got. Good job listening, Adam.
One last time, they ask Carrie and Garry whom they want to win. Carrie wants Will, Garry wants Jason. Frankly, I think Adam’s the most talented one there.
Monday, August 13, 2007
So You Think You Can Dance 8/13: LOCKDOWN!
Cat starts out on high and apparently forgot to shave her chest. Oh, wait, that’s just her very plush dress. Go figure. She calls tonight the cruelest cut of all. I always thought that the first cut was the deepest, and therefore the cruelest. But maybe I’m wrong about that. Our opening routine is an absolutely awesome Wade Robson routine. It starts with everyone under netting and turns into a sort of primal, hedonistic, bestial dance that is just kind of awesome. My only complaint is that it’s entirely too edited, giving us constant shorts of Neil contorting his face but barely a single shot of Pasha. Favoritism much? Tonight Cat’s pronunciation sounds the most like “Judges” I’ve heard in a while, but it’s still nowhere close to an actual word. Cat reminds us that Cedric was a competitor and now has a scholarship at the Debbie Allen Dance School. Thanks, but I still don’t think he deserved to make it as far as he did. Immediately, we go into one of the special time-killing performances, this time an African Dance routine from someone named Titus. The dance is interesting, but even more interesting is the fact that he seems to be wearing an African flag turned into parachute pants. Alas, he does not break into a crab walk, ala Hammer. But what can you do.
It’s solo time for everyone, in an attempt to kill even more time! Yay for time-killers!
Sabra: Sabra’s routine is fun and cute and sexy and just a good experience to watch. She’s just a big ball of energy and it’s great to watch her harness it.
Lauren: Lauren is punked out during her solo and it’s a lot of fun to watch. She displays her awesome musicality and general talent as a dancer. I mean, it’s clear she’s getting cut tonight, but can we keep her and dump Lacey please?
Lacey: Lacey does her now normal combination of stripper moves and ballroom moves. It’s getting kind of old Lacey. What’s next, sliding and being worse than Travis?
Pasha: Now this is the type of ballroom I want to see. Pasha is going the shirtless Dmitry route, but I forgive him for that because his routine is a lot of fun to watch. Plus, he's rocking suspenders.
Neil: Well, it’s a little more versatility than I’m used to, but for the most part is still flips and tricks. Damn the teenage girl vote for constantly propelling Neil forward.
Danny: Honestly, though, do I even have to reiterate that Danny is heads above the others here? His body control and his use of the stage are so good. Just amazing.
SYTYCD is philanthropic everyone! Come look! They’re teaching teachers how to teach pupils how to dance. Is that sentence convoluted? Well, so is the idea kind of. The choreographer are basically teaching a routine to people, and then the teachers can go pass on the one routine to their pupils. I mean, it’s a nice idea, but I think it’d be better to teach these people the basics as opposed to an Mia Michaels routine.
Next we get more filler, this time in the guise of a krumping routine from krumping inventor Lil C’ and his squad. It’s cool to watch, and it gets progressively better, especially once Lil’ C actually joins the dance. I always kind of thought of krumping as a lot faster than they were dancing it though.
Time to hype the tour again. Ooh, but it’s finally time for something that’s kind of like results! We get to see how everyone did last week. First the girls are up. Sabra’s up first. The judges loved her. Next comes Lauren. The judges loved her. Lacey is the last one. The judges loved her (except for her hand). They’re a lot of help aren’t they? The first girl to make the finale is…. Lacey. Ugh. If she wins this competition, I may hurl. That’s all the Schwimmer family needs. Everyone hugs.
Now it’s time for the guys. Pasha’s first. The judges loved him. Neil’s second. The judges loved him. Danny is third. The judges loved her. Are we sensing a trend here? Well, it’s understandable in most cases. MOST cases (cough cough Not Neil cough cough). The first guy to make the finale is… Danny. Yay, I was really worried he was going to get cut, with the rumors that were popping up. Ooh, drama! Cat has news for audience, dismissing them all so they don’t have inside information. Now it’s time for the eliminations. The audience boos like they always do, and they complain about not knowing who makes the finale before everyone else. Have they been getting bitching lessons from Danielle on Big Brother?
Oooh, ominous empty studio. Cat tells us it’s a lockdown situation again. The girls are up first. The other girl in the finale is Sabra, meaning Lauren is cut. I’m not surprised. Sabra was better than Lauren. Nigel tells Lauren that she peaked too late, but he’s glad she was here. Mary tells her she’s always loved her. Debbie calls her beautiful and compliments the show. Lauren calls it the best opportunity she’s ever had. She takes the news well, but I honestly believe she was fully expecting this. She gets her video package and is shunted off to the side for the boys. Cat reminds us again that no one is there. The other guy in the finale is Neil, meaning Pasha is cut. Frankly, I’m pissed, because Pasha could dance circles around Neil. Nigel tells him how much he’s grown and calls him a charming gentleman. Mary holds back tears and calls him a great ambassador for ballroom dancing. Debbie compliments the show again and tells him he has a future. Pasha looks slightly pissed. I would be too. Even my Neil-lover of a viewing mate thinks Pasha should have made it over Neil. Everyone is very somber and hugging and it’s nice to see the eliminations as somber as opposed to happy. So, yeah. Pasha was robbed. I think those are good words to end on: Pasha. Was. Robbed.
It’s solo time for everyone, in an attempt to kill even more time! Yay for time-killers!
Sabra: Sabra’s routine is fun and cute and sexy and just a good experience to watch. She’s just a big ball of energy and it’s great to watch her harness it.
Lauren: Lauren is punked out during her solo and it’s a lot of fun to watch. She displays her awesome musicality and general talent as a dancer. I mean, it’s clear she’s getting cut tonight, but can we keep her and dump Lacey please?
Lacey: Lacey does her now normal combination of stripper moves and ballroom moves. It’s getting kind of old Lacey. What’s next, sliding and being worse than Travis?
Pasha: Now this is the type of ballroom I want to see. Pasha is going the shirtless Dmitry route, but I forgive him for that because his routine is a lot of fun to watch. Plus, he's rocking suspenders.
Neil: Well, it’s a little more versatility than I’m used to, but for the most part is still flips and tricks. Damn the teenage girl vote for constantly propelling Neil forward.
Danny: Honestly, though, do I even have to reiterate that Danny is heads above the others here? His body control and his use of the stage are so good. Just amazing.
SYTYCD is philanthropic everyone! Come look! They’re teaching teachers how to teach pupils how to dance. Is that sentence convoluted? Well, so is the idea kind of. The choreographer are basically teaching a routine to people, and then the teachers can go pass on the one routine to their pupils. I mean, it’s a nice idea, but I think it’d be better to teach these people the basics as opposed to an Mia Michaels routine.
Next we get more filler, this time in the guise of a krumping routine from krumping inventor Lil C’ and his squad. It’s cool to watch, and it gets progressively better, especially once Lil’ C actually joins the dance. I always kind of thought of krumping as a lot faster than they were dancing it though.
Time to hype the tour again. Ooh, but it’s finally time for something that’s kind of like results! We get to see how everyone did last week. First the girls are up. Sabra’s up first. The judges loved her. Next comes Lauren. The judges loved her. Lacey is the last one. The judges loved her (except for her hand). They’re a lot of help aren’t they? The first girl to make the finale is…. Lacey. Ugh. If she wins this competition, I may hurl. That’s all the Schwimmer family needs. Everyone hugs.
Now it’s time for the guys. Pasha’s first. The judges loved him. Neil’s second. The judges loved him. Danny is third. The judges loved her. Are we sensing a trend here? Well, it’s understandable in most cases. MOST cases (cough cough Not Neil cough cough). The first guy to make the finale is… Danny. Yay, I was really worried he was going to get cut, with the rumors that were popping up. Ooh, drama! Cat has news for audience, dismissing them all so they don’t have inside information. Now it’s time for the eliminations. The audience boos like they always do, and they complain about not knowing who makes the finale before everyone else. Have they been getting bitching lessons from Danielle on Big Brother?
Oooh, ominous empty studio. Cat tells us it’s a lockdown situation again. The girls are up first. The other girl in the finale is Sabra, meaning Lauren is cut. I’m not surprised. Sabra was better than Lauren. Nigel tells Lauren that she peaked too late, but he’s glad she was here. Mary tells her she’s always loved her. Debbie calls her beautiful and compliments the show. Lauren calls it the best opportunity she’s ever had. She takes the news well, but I honestly believe she was fully expecting this. She gets her video package and is shunted off to the side for the boys. Cat reminds us again that no one is there. The other guy in the finale is Neil, meaning Pasha is cut. Frankly, I’m pissed, because Pasha could dance circles around Neil. Nigel tells him how much he’s grown and calls him a charming gentleman. Mary holds back tears and calls him a great ambassador for ballroom dancing. Debbie compliments the show again and tells him he has a future. Pasha looks slightly pissed. I would be too. Even my Neil-lover of a viewing mate thinks Pasha should have made it over Neil. Everyone is very somber and hugging and it’s nice to see the eliminations as somber as opposed to happy. So, yeah. Pasha was robbed. I think those are good words to end on: Pasha. Was. Robbed.
I Don't Know Butchie Instead, or Thoughts on John From Cincinnati
Well, after watching the entire first season of John From Cincinnati intently, I can honestly say that I’m not sure what it was about, but I somehow feel like a better person for watching it. Ultimately, though, I think that may have been the purpose of the show. To not really provide any answers or give anything substantial, but more to be a sort of transformative experience. The whole show was about John slowly transforming these people, these “lost souls”, into whole human beings again, forging the relationships that will be necessary for these people to get to an inner peace.
And last night’s season, and most likely series, finale, since the show is low-rated, expensive, and kind of closed every story line last night, kind of perfectly summed up the experience of the entire show. It posed some more questions, provided very few answers, and showed these characters’s slow internal and interpersonal growth and established bonds that could only be described as positive growth. From the growing bond between the Harelip and Jerri the waitress, both of whom seemed to lack social skills at first but had grown slowly closer, to the tie between John and Shaun, which was ultimately the catalyst for the final changes made in the finale, these growing ties between the characters ultimately led to their redemption.
Shaun’s trip to “Cincinnati” and the chaos that resulted from Shaun being gone was what brought these disparate people together. Cissy and Mitch reunited because of Shaun’s return and Mitch’s floating, both brought on by John’s return. Tina was both there for Linc and there for the family. Cass and the zeroes and ones in her camera brought John and John’s Father’s words out in the mouths of the residents of Imperial Beach, like Linc and the owner of the Car Dealership, who may or may not have been the Father himself. And these are only some of the relationships that showed growth last night. I want to discuss the bond between Palaka and Steady Freddie, or the changes seen in Barry and Abogado Dickstein and Ramon, but I don’t want to ramble on here.
And after John, during the montage of footage of Cass’ Camera, tells us of the characters’ various futures, we get one final touching scene with one of the many fools of the show, Bill Jacks. Bill Jacks’ staircase has been a recurring montage of the show, the fact that Bill looks to it with reverence, and can climb it, but can never reach the top. Well, last night Bill Jacks finally did, and the result was probably the most touching scene of the entire series. It basically consisted of Bill Jacks talking to his dead wife, and essentially gaining closure. And, as a result, Zippy, who had disappeared with John and Shaun, most likely to “Cincinnati”, flies in and lands on Bill’s shoulder, reassuring him. And we end with Kai surfing, and the single line “Mother of God. Kai. Cass”, which perfectly sums up both women’s role on the show. John, who is clearly now a surrogate for God, was a lost child himself at the beginning, and the mothering of both Kai and Cass allowed him to find his Father’s words and relay them to the residents of Imperial Beach.
To summarize this post, I feel good after watching John From Cincinnati, almost like the words of John’s Father have reached through Cass’ camera and into my television. I know that I don’t fully understand it, but I don’t think I’m supposed to. Because, at the end of it, the characters don’t know about John either. They’re just as perplexed about his disappearance with Shaun, his Father, and Cincinnati. They’ve just benefited from his presence, as have I. David Milch, thanks for bringing me into the game.
And last night’s season, and most likely series, finale, since the show is low-rated, expensive, and kind of closed every story line last night, kind of perfectly summed up the experience of the entire show. It posed some more questions, provided very few answers, and showed these characters’s slow internal and interpersonal growth and established bonds that could only be described as positive growth. From the growing bond between the Harelip and Jerri the waitress, both of whom seemed to lack social skills at first but had grown slowly closer, to the tie between John and Shaun, which was ultimately the catalyst for the final changes made in the finale, these growing ties between the characters ultimately led to their redemption.
Shaun’s trip to “Cincinnati” and the chaos that resulted from Shaun being gone was what brought these disparate people together. Cissy and Mitch reunited because of Shaun’s return and Mitch’s floating, both brought on by John’s return. Tina was both there for Linc and there for the family. Cass and the zeroes and ones in her camera brought John and John’s Father’s words out in the mouths of the residents of Imperial Beach, like Linc and the owner of the Car Dealership, who may or may not have been the Father himself. And these are only some of the relationships that showed growth last night. I want to discuss the bond between Palaka and Steady Freddie, or the changes seen in Barry and Abogado Dickstein and Ramon, but I don’t want to ramble on here.
And after John, during the montage of footage of Cass’ Camera, tells us of the characters’ various futures, we get one final touching scene with one of the many fools of the show, Bill Jacks. Bill Jacks’ staircase has been a recurring montage of the show, the fact that Bill looks to it with reverence, and can climb it, but can never reach the top. Well, last night Bill Jacks finally did, and the result was probably the most touching scene of the entire series. It basically consisted of Bill Jacks talking to his dead wife, and essentially gaining closure. And, as a result, Zippy, who had disappeared with John and Shaun, most likely to “Cincinnati”, flies in and lands on Bill’s shoulder, reassuring him. And we end with Kai surfing, and the single line “Mother of God. Kai. Cass”, which perfectly sums up both women’s role on the show. John, who is clearly now a surrogate for God, was a lost child himself at the beginning, and the mothering of both Kai and Cass allowed him to find his Father’s words and relay them to the residents of Imperial Beach.
To summarize this post, I feel good after watching John From Cincinnati, almost like the words of John’s Father have reached through Cass’ camera and into my television. I know that I don’t fully understand it, but I don’t think I’m supposed to. Because, at the end of it, the characters don’t know about John either. They’re just as perplexed about his disappearance with Shaun, his Father, and Cincinnati. They’ve just benefited from his presence, as have I. David Milch, thanks for bringing me into the game.
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