Our opening number is apparently a Matrix-inspired Shane Sparks hip-hop routine. It also appears to have a hint of vogueing in it. I wonder how Madonna feels about Shane Sparks stealing some of her moves. I can’t focus very long though, because I’m pretty sure Shane has black holes instead of eyes tonight. Oh wait, those are just sunglasses. I still am not sure. On to our Jidges, whoever they may be. To my knowledge, we’re talking to our judges, who first mention the bridge collapse thing, then talk about their dancing careers dying. Nice terrible transition Nigel. But he interrupts himself to mention the tour, and tells them to buy through Fox.com instead of other people. Nigel points out that they can’t dance forever, citing that Adam turned into, with the exception of Hairspray, a crappy movie director (Cheaper By The Dozen 2 anyone?). He says that they should only do it if they really really want to. Like, for reals. Nigel makes a bad joke, tells Cat she looks like Katharine Hepburn (which she doesn’t). She asks Mary if a girl could win this season, and Mary says that a girl could absolutely win. I honestly don’t see a situation where either Sabra or Lacey or doesn’t win.
Immediately, we jump into the bottom 2 reveals, but first, it’s time for us to realize how they kill an hour. Everyone does solos! Yay for wasting time when this could be a half hour!
Sara: Sara does an energetic B-girl routine, but it’s not spectacular like some other breaker routines we’ve seen.
Lacey: I’m not sure what Lacey’s own style of dance is, unless it’s mediocre dancing with floor slides. She doesn’t go ballroom until the last 5 seconds.
Sabra: Sabra grabs the attention, using the full stage for a sexy little solo with a lot of spinning and leg stretching.
Lauren: Lauren does alright, but it’s nothing particularly special. It seemed like it could have been from any amateur performance. There’s nothing that screams professional.
Neil: Neil does the same thing he always does. It’s a lot of twirling a trick leaps. I honestly don’t get why people keep dishing love to Neil. He does the same frickin’ thing.
Danny: If anyone had any question, this proves that Danny is the best dancer in this competition. He moves so gracefully it’s just an incredible pleasure to watch.
Dominic: Well, that just blew Sara out of the water. Dominic is fun, energetic, and does amazing tricks, especially where he intertwines himself with a plastic chair.
Pasha: Pasha goes the Dmitry route, doing a shirtless routine. It involves a lot of cape twirling but not a lot of dancing. I’d prefer dancing, although the cape is fun to watch.
Now, it’s time to get down to business. We get reviews of everyone’s performances last night, and, unsurprisingly, Sara and Lauren are the bottom two girls. Mary says that she’s not surprised and compliments both. It’s the guys’ turn. Reviews abound, and Dominic and Neil are sent to the bottom two. Adam reminds them that they both made the top 8. Dominic grabs hold of Cat and won’t let go. My viewing mate thinks this is cute. I find it mildly funny. We get a performance from One Republic, which seems horribly mismatched with this show in that it involves no movement whatsoever on stage. I mean, it’s completely stationary. 3 of the freaking performers are sitting down. They did a dance to this song earlier in the season. They did a lot of performances to songs that people can perform and dance to as well. Poor choice SYTYCD.
We come back and it’s eliminatin’ time. I predicted that Lauren and Dominic would be going home. After 8 million votes, I’m wrong on at least one count. Sara is our girl sent packing. She gets clip packaged to the side of the stage and it’s time for the guys. The guy going home is Dominic, meaning both of our last breakers are booted in one fell swoop. Dominic takes the opportunity to grab hold of Cat again. Nigel compliments Dom and Sara for not making fools of themselves in the press like many other young celebrities. I’m pretty sure that everyone just looked at their TV and went “What? How in God’s name do Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton’s antics relate to So You Think You Can Dance?” The answer. I don’t know. Cat compliments them on making farther than any other breakers ever on the show. Dominic grabs hold of Cat again and mugs for the camera. At least he’s going out the way he’s been. As soon as she can, Cat walks away as the group huddles around them and offers consoling hugs. Aw.
Thursday, August 2, 2007
Big Brother 8/2. Did God Want Everyone To Get Haircuts?
Previously on BB8, no one cared that Mike left, people cared that someone voted to keep Mike, Jen emoted, Jameka saw God in a ping pong ball, Amber cried repeatedly (no surprise there), Dick yelled at Jen (no surprise there), and Jameka did God’s work, threatening Danielle’s reason to be a whiny brat. It’s time for our weekly dose of the Chen-bot, who starts talking about God, making me ponder questions about whether God is in the machine (the Chen-Bot). Apparently, they’re calling Jameka’s god-craziness divine intervention. As much as I like Jen, I wouldn’t exactly call it divine intervention. We’re treated to the monotone end to the veto meeting, before we launch into Nick as his creepy mustache pondering why he was nominated. Amber can be seen crying on the couch making it 5 minutes before we see fresh Amber tears. Kail is shocked by the move, especially that Amber was able to support it through tears. Kail is shocked by the number of people who supported Dustin’s move. Nick confronts Danielle about whether she knew and she immediately huffs and hides her face in her hands. I wouldn’t expect anything less from her. Nick says again he’s looking out for Danielle. Nick is trying to figure out what exactly happens, and asks Dick and Eric, who stammers and tries to avoid getting blamed. Zach comes out but Nick banishes back into the house, prompting Zach to say, “I thought I was close to you dude.” Amber is crying again, marking 7 minutes as the time it took Amber to cry twice. Nick asks if she knew what happens, and she immediately lies to him and blames Dustin. Amber tells Nick she loves him so much, which prompts the question why lie blatantly to him. Danielle is at least telling the truth in that she tried her huffiest to keep him from getting nominated. Nick swears on his life that he wasn’t the second vote to evict Kail, but that’s apparently not enough for Danielle, who huffs again, pissing Nick off, who storms away from her. He goes to confront Dustin, who is standing over a crying Amber comforting her (that makes 3 times in 10 minutes America), asking if he thought Nick was gonna bitch and cry about it. I couldn’t think of a more apt place to ask than in front of a crying Amber. But enough Amber crying, it’s time for Dick to attack Jen again. This is the first of three over-the-line attacks that he launched at her that night, using words like “scumbag” and telling her to “go f**k herself”. He talks about how self-centered she is and how bad a person she is for crying after being nominated. She plays it off and doesn’t let him get to her. Good for you Jen. Danielle is in the bathroom whining to Eric when Jen comes in and apologizes to Danielle for having to deal with Dick for her entire life. This pisses Danielle off, because how dare someone point out that her father’s a total douchebag. Oh wait, Danielle has done that earlier this season. It’s amazing how memories slip Danielle. Nick is apparently really angry, because we go to him shaving his head with no precedence. Even though the producers made him delay it for two weeks. We cut back downstairs to Danielle now huffing about how Jen is mean to her. It’s turning into a real catfight, and now Nick, newly mohawked, comes in and calls Jen a dumb bitch. Danielle is huffing and puffing but god forbid someone attack Jen that’s not Dick, so he jumps in on the attack, pouring tea on Jen’s head after Jen points out that Danielle stole her boyfriend from an engagement, and she’s now cheating on him. Nick now launches into her, and Jen just continues to deflect it, which just proves that she’s a better person than either member of that family. What really pisses me off is how this is completely edited from the feeds. On the feeds, Dick was a lot more foul to her, going way beyond the line to the point that Jen felt threatened and the entire house basically got pissed at Dick and vowed to Jen to protect her if he goes any farther. But God forbid the show depict Jen but anything as a vapid bitch and Dick as a fun guy. Amber is crying again while discussing how her crying may screw her over later in the game. I ponder that statement and finally think that Amber has no handle on the concepts of irony.
Nick doesn’t want to campaign, which he tells Amber while campaigning to stay in the house. Now its time for Eric shaving his head, joking about how Eric will now be the new house Casanova. But it’s time for our America’s player shenanigans, and Eric has to try to get Kail evicted, which throws a wrench into his plans. Eric is disappointed that they don’t value his strategic input. Eric starts bashing Kail in front of everyone. Will it be enough? I doubt it. Eric tries to do it again in the LNC crew meeting, although he’s just playing Devil’s advocate. Danielle and Dick apparently, now that Nick seems to indicate that he would be with them, are thinking they shouldn’t go with the group anymore. Julie immediately asks about Nick’s new do. Amber compliments I and manages not to cry for the first time tonight. Eric says he’s not trying to emulate Nick. Jen was unfazed by the tea incident because she’s used to Dick. Dick won’t apologize, and he still acts like what he didn’t wasn’t a douche-tastic move. Jameka hopes that God put her in the house to win.
It’s time for our chat with Dustin, where he apologizes for putting Jameka in a compromising position but is happy he was greedy because now he’s got 5 grand and a trip to Barbados. He mentions that Dick can go too far at times, but he doesn’t really care, because Dick takes the brunt of everyone’s anger then. It’s time to plead their cases. Kail likes everyone and looks forward to more good times. Nick acknowledges that he knows he’s going home and addresses Danielle, telling her that she screwed up his strategy because he became smitten with her. He thanks her for their time in the house and says it will be hardest walking away from her. I’m guessing a lot of girls swooned at that. I rolled my eyes. It’s votin’ time. Jen votes to evict Nick. Zach votes to evict Kail. Jameka votes Nick because God wants her to, I’m guessing.
So far it’s 2-1 to evict Nick. Eric is forced to evict Kail, and says the tried to evict Kail but can’t promise anything. Jessica votes to evict Nick. Amber votes to Nick, and looks to be on the verge of tears. No surprise. Dick votes to evict Nick, officially evicting him. Danielle votes to evict Nick as well, suppressing tears. Amber is crying now, even though Danielle is mostly holding it together. Nick hugs everyone, kisses Danielle on the cheek, and walks out to the great Julie Chen in the sky. Julie immediately starts asking Nick about the showmance, and he says its up to Danielle. Julie asks Nick who the second Kail vote was last week, he blames Jen. But Julie enlightens Nick to the America’s Player twist, and he seems to smile about it. The goodbye messages involve Zach asking Nick for a beer, Kail telling him that it should be Zach, Dick telling him he shouldn’t have kept his alliance secret, Amber crying, and Danielle crying less and telling him that he means more to her than he thinks.
It’s time for the HOH competition, and everyone is sent to the backyard after a day of indoor lockdown. It’s an endurance competition involving sitting on a metal pendulum. A large number of houseguests laugh at how lame the competition seems so far. It’s time for our America’s choice question, where we can yet again vote on whom we want nominated. I’m splitting my votes between Amber and Dick. I now hate both of them pretty much equally. Watching this I’ve got a great idea for an endurance competition. Since so many people call them hamsters, why not give each of them a hamster wheel and they have to move it at a certain speed to stay in the game. Last one standing wins. That’d be pretty fun. Now we get a twist in the HOH competition. Everyone has to hang upside down. One more twist is that they have to get pelted with shaving cream that’s supposed to be bird poo. Oh Big Brother, you so funny. Bird poo. Hilarious.
Nick doesn’t want to campaign, which he tells Amber while campaigning to stay in the house. Now its time for Eric shaving his head, joking about how Eric will now be the new house Casanova. But it’s time for our America’s player shenanigans, and Eric has to try to get Kail evicted, which throws a wrench into his plans. Eric is disappointed that they don’t value his strategic input. Eric starts bashing Kail in front of everyone. Will it be enough? I doubt it. Eric tries to do it again in the LNC crew meeting, although he’s just playing Devil’s advocate. Danielle and Dick apparently, now that Nick seems to indicate that he would be with them, are thinking they shouldn’t go with the group anymore. Julie immediately asks about Nick’s new do. Amber compliments I and manages not to cry for the first time tonight. Eric says he’s not trying to emulate Nick. Jen was unfazed by the tea incident because she’s used to Dick. Dick won’t apologize, and he still acts like what he didn’t wasn’t a douche-tastic move. Jameka hopes that God put her in the house to win.
It’s time for our chat with Dustin, where he apologizes for putting Jameka in a compromising position but is happy he was greedy because now he’s got 5 grand and a trip to Barbados. He mentions that Dick can go too far at times, but he doesn’t really care, because Dick takes the brunt of everyone’s anger then. It’s time to plead their cases. Kail likes everyone and looks forward to more good times. Nick acknowledges that he knows he’s going home and addresses Danielle, telling her that she screwed up his strategy because he became smitten with her. He thanks her for their time in the house and says it will be hardest walking away from her. I’m guessing a lot of girls swooned at that. I rolled my eyes. It’s votin’ time. Jen votes to evict Nick. Zach votes to evict Kail. Jameka votes Nick because God wants her to, I’m guessing.
So far it’s 2-1 to evict Nick. Eric is forced to evict Kail, and says the tried to evict Kail but can’t promise anything. Jessica votes to evict Nick. Amber votes to Nick, and looks to be on the verge of tears. No surprise. Dick votes to evict Nick, officially evicting him. Danielle votes to evict Nick as well, suppressing tears. Amber is crying now, even though Danielle is mostly holding it together. Nick hugs everyone, kisses Danielle on the cheek, and walks out to the great Julie Chen in the sky. Julie immediately starts asking Nick about the showmance, and he says its up to Danielle. Julie asks Nick who the second Kail vote was last week, he blames Jen. But Julie enlightens Nick to the America’s Player twist, and he seems to smile about it. The goodbye messages involve Zach asking Nick for a beer, Kail telling him that it should be Zach, Dick telling him he shouldn’t have kept his alliance secret, Amber crying, and Danielle crying less and telling him that he means more to her than he thinks.
It’s time for the HOH competition, and everyone is sent to the backyard after a day of indoor lockdown. It’s an endurance competition involving sitting on a metal pendulum. A large number of houseguests laugh at how lame the competition seems so far. It’s time for our America’s choice question, where we can yet again vote on whom we want nominated. I’m splitting my votes between Amber and Dick. I now hate both of them pretty much equally. Watching this I’ve got a great idea for an endurance competition. Since so many people call them hamsters, why not give each of them a hamster wheel and they have to move it at a certain speed to stay in the game. Last one standing wins. That’d be pretty fun. Now we get a twist in the HOH competition. Everyone has to hang upside down. One more twist is that they have to get pelted with shaving cream that’s supposed to be bird poo. Oh Big Brother, you so funny. Bird poo. Hilarious.
Readers, I've Got A Fever, And The Only Cure Is More Celebreality
I have a confession to make. My name is Nate, and I’m an alcoholic. But that’s not what this post is about. This post is about the fact that my name is Nate, and I’m a Celebreality addict. VH1 is my dealer, and I couldn’t be happier about the situation. I have become dependent on Celebreality for my fix of trash, and boy does it ever fulfill my need. Keeping in mind the trashy comedic brilliance of shows like Flavor of Love (FLAVA FLAV!), I Love New York (I do, and always will have love for New York), and Charm School (I’m now terrified of Monique), VH1’s newest variety and possibly it’s crown jewel, Rock of Love, has pushed me over the top, forcing to me to proclaim from the rooftops “I Love This Show!”
This is not to say that I love “Rock of Love’ anymore than any of VH1’s other fine offerings. I love them all equally, like a parent loves a child. But Rock of Love is my current Celebreality drug of choice, which is why this is the subject of this post. When I Love New York 2 comes on (Please God, let it be soon), it will get many a post as well. If and when Charm School 2 comes on (Flavor of Love Girls vs. Rock of Love girls, perhaps?), it will get many a post. But for now, Rock of Love has the spotlight.
I honestly don’t think you could get any trashier than Rock of Love, and that’s the way I like it. I think more alcohol has been consumed in the first 3 days of Rock of Love than in the entirety of the first season of I Love New York. I think more alcohol has been consumed in the first three days than in the entirety of America’s frat houses the past college year. And boy, does it get these girls riled up. I mean, when discussing alcohol and Rock of Love, immediately Tiffany comes to mind.
In the first 5 minutes of the first episode, Big John, Bret Michaels’ friend and security, eliminates 5 girls, one of them being Tiffany.
But Tiffany came all the way out here, she even got a hat (She reiterates this repeatedly) and she’s not leaving this easily. So she bangs on the door and refuses to leave. The producers, seeing gold in this woman, allow her to stay. What does she do? What all the other girls did when they first entered the house; Make a beeline for the bar. Tiffany, figuring she has to catch up, gets beyond plastered, starts picking fights with the other woman (who are also all drunk), gets on the stripper pole conveniently located in the middle of the living room, and slurs her way through the rest of the episode. At about the 30-minute mark, VH1 begins subtitling her. By the end of the episode, it’s pretty much all “?????????” with the exception of her repeated phrase “Don’t threaten me with a good time”. She barely survives that night’s elimination, probably solely because the producers realized what amazing TV this woman could provide, and the next day she realizes she’s drunk too much. But it’s time for their first challenge, where the ladies, in front of one another, have to have phone sex with Bret and the three ladies who do best win dates with Bret. Now, this is all measured by Dr. Roy (who, the show tells us, is not an accredited doctor) and his machine that measures the blood flow to Brett’s wang. Yes, you read that right. This competition worries Tiffany. What’s the best way to get rid of those worries? You guessed it. Get plastered. Tiffany is a complete mess on the phone, tips Bret off that it’s her by telling him not to threaten her with a good time, and receives her third strike. She’s eliminated that night and I cry a little, because I don’t have anyone to threaten with a good time anymore.
But Tiffany isn’t the only trainwreck there. She’s just one of many, many trainwrecks. I mean, there are Brandi C and Christia who think that they should be best friends and sisters because they’re blonde and have big boobs.
Seriously though, if everyone in this house who had big boobs acted like siblings, this would be a dysfunctional family reunion. Not to be outdone in the boob department though, you have a contestant like Erin, who even the other big boobed girls say has “clown tits”. That’s a direct quote.
And I guess Erin’s clown tits scare them (I’m even a little scared by them. I think if I got too close they could swallow me like quicksand) because, as she’s telling some of the girls about an ex-fiancée, contestants like Heather are thinking that she shouldn’t be there because she has a fiancée. Not an ex-fiancée, they’re sure, because they only have selective hearing, that she has a fiancée. I’m wondering if it’s an ex-fiancée because he left her or because he got swallowed up by them things on her chest.
And the final match up of note is between Lacey, a member of PETA, and Dallas, who only wears animals and eats them. This is a fun one folks. You see, Dallas used to have a bunny rabbit, but she has rabbit skin coats. I bet her neighbors are wondering what happened to that giant litter of Dalmatian puppies they had. She also tells Lacey that if an animal were in the room right now, she’d slit its throat. Lacey is mortified, as is most of America. But the next episode, there’s a showdown between Lacey in a PETA shirt and Dallas in every dead animal in the house. Lacey’s now pissed, so she tries to get Dallas to slug her and get her kicked off the show. She’s really antagonizing her and the other woman somehow manage to see through their drunken hazes and realize shits about to go down.
So as Lacey’s about to confront Dallas on a flight of metal stairs (Good Thinking Lacey!), Rodeo, who I’m about 75% sure is actually a man, steps in, puts Lacey in a chokehold, and wrangles her to the floor. And I didn’t even have to pay 8 dollars to watch it.
So you see, Rock of Love is just about as trashy as you can get. And I love it for that. Where else can you find woman who wake up after a night of heavy drinking, make their way to the in-house bar, and make a giant batch of Fuzzy Navels? Nowhere America. Well, besides The View.
PS: I just read that casting has begun on not only a third season of Flavor of Love, but also a second season of Charm School featuring the Rock of Love girls. Dreams really do come true.
This is not to say that I love “Rock of Love’ anymore than any of VH1’s other fine offerings. I love them all equally, like a parent loves a child. But Rock of Love is my current Celebreality drug of choice, which is why this is the subject of this post. When I Love New York 2 comes on (Please God, let it be soon), it will get many a post as well. If and when Charm School 2 comes on (Flavor of Love Girls vs. Rock of Love girls, perhaps?), it will get many a post. But for now, Rock of Love has the spotlight.
I honestly don’t think you could get any trashier than Rock of Love, and that’s the way I like it. I think more alcohol has been consumed in the first 3 days of Rock of Love than in the entirety of the first season of I Love New York. I think more alcohol has been consumed in the first three days than in the entirety of America’s frat houses the past college year. And boy, does it get these girls riled up. I mean, when discussing alcohol and Rock of Love, immediately Tiffany comes to mind.
In the first 5 minutes of the first episode, Big John, Bret Michaels’ friend and security, eliminates 5 girls, one of them being Tiffany.
But Tiffany came all the way out here, she even got a hat (She reiterates this repeatedly) and she’s not leaving this easily. So she bangs on the door and refuses to leave. The producers, seeing gold in this woman, allow her to stay. What does she do? What all the other girls did when they first entered the house; Make a beeline for the bar. Tiffany, figuring she has to catch up, gets beyond plastered, starts picking fights with the other woman (who are also all drunk), gets on the stripper pole conveniently located in the middle of the living room, and slurs her way through the rest of the episode. At about the 30-minute mark, VH1 begins subtitling her. By the end of the episode, it’s pretty much all “?????????” with the exception of her repeated phrase “Don’t threaten me with a good time”. She barely survives that night’s elimination, probably solely because the producers realized what amazing TV this woman could provide, and the next day she realizes she’s drunk too much. But it’s time for their first challenge, where the ladies, in front of one another, have to have phone sex with Bret and the three ladies who do best win dates with Bret. Now, this is all measured by Dr. Roy (who, the show tells us, is not an accredited doctor) and his machine that measures the blood flow to Brett’s wang. Yes, you read that right. This competition worries Tiffany. What’s the best way to get rid of those worries? You guessed it. Get plastered. Tiffany is a complete mess on the phone, tips Bret off that it’s her by telling him not to threaten her with a good time, and receives her third strike. She’s eliminated that night and I cry a little, because I don’t have anyone to threaten with a good time anymore.
But Tiffany isn’t the only trainwreck there. She’s just one of many, many trainwrecks. I mean, there are Brandi C and Christia who think that they should be best friends and sisters because they’re blonde and have big boobs.
Seriously though, if everyone in this house who had big boobs acted like siblings, this would be a dysfunctional family reunion. Not to be outdone in the boob department though, you have a contestant like Erin, who even the other big boobed girls say has “clown tits”. That’s a direct quote.
And I guess Erin’s clown tits scare them (I’m even a little scared by them. I think if I got too close they could swallow me like quicksand) because, as she’s telling some of the girls about an ex-fiancée, contestants like Heather are thinking that she shouldn’t be there because she has a fiancée. Not an ex-fiancée, they’re sure, because they only have selective hearing, that she has a fiancée. I’m wondering if it’s an ex-fiancée because he left her or because he got swallowed up by them things on her chest.
And the final match up of note is between Lacey, a member of PETA, and Dallas, who only wears animals and eats them. This is a fun one folks. You see, Dallas used to have a bunny rabbit, but she has rabbit skin coats. I bet her neighbors are wondering what happened to that giant litter of Dalmatian puppies they had. She also tells Lacey that if an animal were in the room right now, she’d slit its throat. Lacey is mortified, as is most of America. But the next episode, there’s a showdown between Lacey in a PETA shirt and Dallas in every dead animal in the house. Lacey’s now pissed, so she tries to get Dallas to slug her and get her kicked off the show. She’s really antagonizing her and the other woman somehow manage to see through their drunken hazes and realize shits about to go down.
So as Lacey’s about to confront Dallas on a flight of metal stairs (Good Thinking Lacey!), Rodeo, who I’m about 75% sure is actually a man, steps in, puts Lacey in a chokehold, and wrangles her to the floor. And I didn’t even have to pay 8 dollars to watch it.
So you see, Rock of Love is just about as trashy as you can get. And I love it for that. Where else can you find woman who wake up after a night of heavy drinking, make their way to the in-house bar, and make a giant batch of Fuzzy Navels? Nowhere America. Well, besides The View.
PS: I just read that casting has begun on not only a third season of Flavor of Love, but also a second season of Charm School featuring the Rock of Love girls. Dreams really do come true.
Pilot Review: Reaper
(Note: Picture is from before recasting)
Reaper
The CW. Tuesdays at 9
Starring Bret Harrison, Tyler Labine, Ray Wise, Missy Peregrym, and Rick Gonzales
Ah, finally. A decent pilot to wash the taste of Cavemen out of my mouth. Reaper is the story of Sam (Harrison), a 21 year old slacker, who, unbeknownst to him, has had his soul sold to the devil (Wise). You see, before he was born, his dad got really sick, and the only way to get better was to sell their first born to the devil, who, upon turning 21, would have to do the dark lords bidding. Well, time’s up for Sam, who begrudgingly accepts his task as bounty hunter of escaped souls. He’s not alone though. His slacker buddy Sock (Labine) is there to help him, along with another co-worker Ben (Gonzales). Oh, and there’s the requisite crush, Andi (Peregrym) as well.
I’m going to start by talking about what’s not quite good about this pilot. I watched the original pilot, before they recast the role of Andi. And good thing. The original Andi, Nikki Reed, is the biggest flaw in this pilot. She’s unconvincing with the little bit of role she’s given and she has no chemistry with Harrison. But Ms. Peregrym has taken over the role, and I can only hope she proves better. Also, while Labine fits the role of the idiot slacker well, the character can get very grating at times. I only have minor quibbles besides that though, like the parents being a little too over the top and Sam accepting his job with the devil a little to easily.
Now, on to the good. This pilot has a whole lot going for it. Firstly, Bret Harrison is really good. I loved his last show (Fox’s The Loop, cancelled too soon) and he continues to show good comedic work here as well. His timing is on, his bewilderment is convincing. He’s weaker in the dramatic scenes, but he still manages to pull them off decently. Ray Wise as the devil is also great, fluctuating between comedic devil and mean devil well. My only quibble with the character is that, at times, the devil comes off too nice. I mean, he’s the Devil. Don’t make him be nice and caring. The show moves at a good brisk pace managing to keep the energy mostly up, with the occasional down scene. It’s clever without being too smart, has a lot of great little jokes, like the use of a dirt devil in order to capture the first soul. In fact, the weekly change of Sam’s capturing aid could become something that people look forward to, like the changing couch sequence on The Simpsons.
This show is a fun way to kill an hour, and could be the breakaway hit that the CW so desperately needs. CW, I still haven’t forgiven you for canceling Veronica Mars, and I doubt I will for a while, but this makes up for it slightly. Only a little bit though. And any goodwill that this show may have created is crushed by the fact that you picked up Farmer Wants A Wife. I mean, seriously? You cancelled Veronica for that? For shame. But that’s beside the point. Reaper is fun, well acted, and could become another cult hit along the lines of something like Buffy, which is why this earns:
Rating: Definitely Worth Another Viewing
Wednesday, August 1, 2007
So You Think You Can Dance 8/1. The Top 8 Perform And Mostly Deliver
Before I start this recap, I just want to thank the awesome people at Blogging SYTYCD for linking to my recaps. Thanks guys...
Opening: Cat looks vaguely mermaidish tonight. Also, she doesn’t seem to know which camera to speak into. Lauren goes Flashdance. Pasha has fun. Sabra looks nice but does nothing special. Dominic reminds us he wasn’t the best breaker. Lacey does sexy ballroom. Neil does tricks and only tricks. Sara outshines Dominic. Danny twirls awesomely. Apparently, tonight we have Jee-Jees instead of judges. I have no idea what those are. Adam Shankman is back this week to join Nigel and Mary. Adam has been promoting Hairspray, which he coincidentally is doing right now as well. Adam tells Cat she looks hot, she fakes blushing. Nigel is happy with how the show is progressing, and it’s all just a lottery now regarding partners and choreographers. Cat points out that Mary is decked in diamonds for no reason.
Danny and Sara: They’ve got an Argentine tango first from Alex DaSilva, who says that he really wanted to work with Danny and Sara is icing on the cake. Apparently, there is a lot of contortion, which makes Danny nervous. This is definitely the sexiest dance of the entire season. Danny is beyond amazing, with so many freakin' pirouettes that I get dizzy watching him. He doesn’t even get fazed by all the spinning too. He pulls of masculinity well except for a little bit involving a fan at the end, something I’ve had problems with for him in the past. Sara holds her own, however her kicks seem a little uncommitted. The human pretzel move at the end is pretty freakin’ awesome as well. Adam calls it unreal, especially because he expected a mismatch. He’s so proud of Sara because she completely has banished the B-girl in her. Adam tells Danny he has the best center he’s even seen and calls him the best male dancer the show has ever seen. Mary calls Sara’s boots hot and calls the beginning out of sight. She says it diverges from an Argentine tango at the end, but doesn’t fault them for that. Nigel calls it very sexy. He wishes there was a little more in Sara’s face, but loved the human pretzel. He calls Danny’s pirouettes ridiculous, and counters that most Argentine tango dancers wouldn’t be capable where it diverges from the normal style.
Dominic and Lauren: They’re krumping first tonight, with a Lil’ C routine. Lauren is excited to have Dominic because he’s a joker. Lauren is excited to dance with Lauren because she’s hot. Dominic, always joking. At least, I’m hoping. This is, I’m not gonna lie, kind of a disaster. They’re repeatedly off beat from one another (when they’re supposed to clearly be together) and half the moves don’t feel fully executed. At one point, Lauren actually falls off of Dominic’s back and tries to cover it, albeit not very well. Dominic is clearly the better of the two, but again his face seems to take over at points and it detracts from the already lackluster performance. Adam calls it really hot, but is not sure if it showed either of them at their greatest potential. Mary says the beginning is great, but from the middle on the energy dies down. But she calls them both gangsta. Nigel thinks that Krumping is tougher than what they were doing, that it was more hip hop. Nigel makes multiple references to his British heritage. He calls it unlyrical though and another word I can’t remember. Nigel calls Lauren on falling but covering it, but calls her a true professional for covering it.
Lacey and Neil: First, they’ve got a Latin jazz routine from Maria Torres. There’s apparently, a really tough lift. They’re afraid. Very afraid. Lacey says she has faith with him. She almost maintains a straight face. If I didn’t know better, I would think they threw in moves from their contemporary here. It doesn’t quite seem to be there yet. Some of their moves look good, but the rest looks amateur. They don’t appear to be interested in each other at all, and Neil also fails to fully pull off the masculinity necessary for this. Adam makes a comment on Neil’s shirtlessness first. Adam then moves on to calling them beautiful dancers, but tells Lacey that she needs to look at her partner rather than the camera, because Neil was pretty much focused on her. Adam gives it two thumbs up at the end. Mary says that the chemistry wasn’t there at all for her, calling it forced chemistry, citing Neil on his lack of interest in her at times too. She also calls them on their poor form during the beginning. But she says there are good parts. Overall, she kind of gives it a Meh. Adam takes over and reiterates Mary’s comments. If we didn’t hear it shrilly enough the first time. Nigel loved the music and the choreography. He didn’t like either of them though, because they had no chemistry and bad technique. Nigel utters those terrible two words, Dance School. Nigel says that just because every girl screams due to Neil’s shirtlessness, doesn’t mean its good. Neil was happy with his performance and felt they had good chemistry.
Pasha and Sabra: They’ve got a Tyce Diorio Broadway routine first. I miss the pre-dance package. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I don’t believe Tyce is a talented choreographer. The routine starts off slow, but picks up speed thankfully, because the steps aren’t good until the end. Pasha and Sabra dance them well enough, but I don’t feel overwhelming praise, if only because they were limited by the choreography. Adam says that he didn’t think he was going to like it, but he kind of did. He says this was the first time he got surprised, because they and character and overall performance. He calls Pasha great, but Sabra was a revelation. Mary says Sabra’s always a revelation, but calls Pasha as well. She loved the rolls and lifts, and can’t find anything she doesn’t love about it. Nigel says that the choreography forces them to perform, and he loves it. He calls the performance wonderful and says the reiterated why they’re there.
Sara And Danny, Take 2: This time, they’ve got a Shane Sparks hip-hop routine. Danny’s worried, because Shane was the one who was trying to keep him out of the top 20. Shane wasn’t worried about Sara, but Danny really surprised him and changed his mind. It’s good, if a little un-energetic at the end. It’s very early 90s, and, given the dancers, it is slightly disappointing. They just weren’t quite committed enough to it in my opinion. Cat admits that she loves Salt N Pepa’s “Push it”. Adam starts by saying that they were punk’d by wardrobe. He calls it a solid routine. Adam calls them the most versatile couple, but tells them to be nice to wardrobe. Mary doesn’t seem to get Adam’s wardrobe jokes. She didn’t quite like the dancing though, saying it didn’t hit it hard enough. She also says they were too cute for this. Nigel says that it didn’t quite mesh together, which was especially disappointing given that they’re in the top 8 and this is close to Sara’s style.
Lauren And Dominic, Take 2: Now it’s time for their Rumba, choreographed by Tony Meredith. Lauren doesn’t have a problem being close to Dominic. Dominic doesn’t have a problem being close to Lauren. Good for both I guess. Well, this is miles better than their krumping. It’s sexy and believable. Dominic’s face controls itself and Lauren looks really good and sexy. That being said, is it really a rumba? It doesn’t seem like one, especially considering that the song choice is an old R&B/Soul song that would lend itself better to a Mia Michael’s contemporary. Adam says that Dom’s B-boy friends should be impressed and proud, but mock him for his heels. Adam says their chemistry was great, but so ends the good news. But he says it didn’t look like a rumba, but saw a lot of posing and lines, as opposed to rumba dancing. Mary says that it wasn’t their fault that it wasn’t a rumba, but that the lines were beautiful. Mary says the actual rumbaing was a little too stiff, calling her end opinion mixed. Nigel compliments wardrobe, makes a pervy comment about Lauren’s lack of dress, and compliments Dominic about keeping his face in check. He bashes the technique a little bit, but says that the choreography made them look good. Nigel says that next week, though, things like this won’t pass because the dancers will have to be up to the choreographers level.
Lacey and Neil, Take 2: They’ve got a kickass Mia Michael’s contemporary routine, which is supposed to be about Mia Michaels and her dad reuniting in heaven. Both dancers feel like they have to get this dance right for Mia. I couldn’t agree more. It’s a beautiful and touching routine, but, and I’m going to sound like a jackass for saying this, I was kind of hoping for more. I’m so used to this absolutely breathtaking Mia Michaels routine, and this one being so personal and close to her, I was expecting balls to the wall genius and it didn’t quite deliver enough. They dance it proficiently enough I think though. Adam starts by thanking Mia for bringing something so personal and special and perpetuating true beauty in dance. He calls her unreal. Adam is so in love with what they just did. He says this will go down as one of the great dance performances on television. Adam calls them both beautiful and compliments their technique. Mary draws a heart, points to them and Mia, and appears to be crying. Apparently she’s going through a personal time as well, so we skip her comments. Nigel reiterates that Mia was nominated for an Emmy. Nigel says he’s so pleased to be on a show with this choreography. Nigel says that the magic lies in that they danced like no one was watching. He says he’s hugely touched and calls it one of the most beautiful things he’s seen ever. Neil and Lacey both seem to genuinely thank Mia for the choreography. They should be, because this piece just guaranteed they’ll both be around next week.
Sabra and Pasha, Take 2: The last dance of the night is a Tony Meredith quickstep. Apparently it’s very fast. I never would have guessed. Sabra admits to being confused and tripping a lot. They’re both determined though. This is my favorite routine of the night. Everything just kind of came together for me. Their costumes were awesome, the song was awesome, and most importantly, their dancing was awesome. My only complaint would be that Pasha appeared to be dragging Sabra around the stage at times. Adam also says awesome repeatedly, loves the costumes, and compliments the choreography. He loved the use of the stage, and the highs and lows of the piece. Sabra freaks him out because she’s so good. She’s Adam’s girl apparently. Adam bows down. Mary says that that was a very difficult routine and they tore it up and they make Mary tear up. She loved both of their technique and calls Sabra a butterfly. Nigel says that it was the perfect piece to come after Mia’s emotional piece, and thinks their talent was brilliant and their use of the stage was great. He calls them the best couple of the night. Sabra says that the quickstep was her biggest fear, and she’s pleased that she was able to do it, and thanks Pasha for helping her through it.
Over the closing, every gathers around Dominic as he displays some actually awesome B-boy spinning. It was pretty freaking cool.
My Ranking of the Routines:
1) Sabra and Pasha- Quickstep
2) Danny and Sara- Argentine Tango
3) Lacey and Neil- Contemporary
4) Lauren and Dominic- Rumba
5) Danny and Sara- Hip Hop
6) Sabra and Pasha- Broadway
7) Lacey and Neil- Latin Jazz
8) Lauren and Dominic- Krumping
Opening: Cat looks vaguely mermaidish tonight. Also, she doesn’t seem to know which camera to speak into. Lauren goes Flashdance. Pasha has fun. Sabra looks nice but does nothing special. Dominic reminds us he wasn’t the best breaker. Lacey does sexy ballroom. Neil does tricks and only tricks. Sara outshines Dominic. Danny twirls awesomely. Apparently, tonight we have Jee-Jees instead of judges. I have no idea what those are. Adam Shankman is back this week to join Nigel and Mary. Adam has been promoting Hairspray, which he coincidentally is doing right now as well. Adam tells Cat she looks hot, she fakes blushing. Nigel is happy with how the show is progressing, and it’s all just a lottery now regarding partners and choreographers. Cat points out that Mary is decked in diamonds for no reason.
Danny and Sara: They’ve got an Argentine tango first from Alex DaSilva, who says that he really wanted to work with Danny and Sara is icing on the cake. Apparently, there is a lot of contortion, which makes Danny nervous. This is definitely the sexiest dance of the entire season. Danny is beyond amazing, with so many freakin' pirouettes that I get dizzy watching him. He doesn’t even get fazed by all the spinning too. He pulls of masculinity well except for a little bit involving a fan at the end, something I’ve had problems with for him in the past. Sara holds her own, however her kicks seem a little uncommitted. The human pretzel move at the end is pretty freakin’ awesome as well. Adam calls it unreal, especially because he expected a mismatch. He’s so proud of Sara because she completely has banished the B-girl in her. Adam tells Danny he has the best center he’s even seen and calls him the best male dancer the show has ever seen. Mary calls Sara’s boots hot and calls the beginning out of sight. She says it diverges from an Argentine tango at the end, but doesn’t fault them for that. Nigel calls it very sexy. He wishes there was a little more in Sara’s face, but loved the human pretzel. He calls Danny’s pirouettes ridiculous, and counters that most Argentine tango dancers wouldn’t be capable where it diverges from the normal style.
Dominic and Lauren: They’re krumping first tonight, with a Lil’ C routine. Lauren is excited to have Dominic because he’s a joker. Lauren is excited to dance with Lauren because she’s hot. Dominic, always joking. At least, I’m hoping. This is, I’m not gonna lie, kind of a disaster. They’re repeatedly off beat from one another (when they’re supposed to clearly be together) and half the moves don’t feel fully executed. At one point, Lauren actually falls off of Dominic’s back and tries to cover it, albeit not very well. Dominic is clearly the better of the two, but again his face seems to take over at points and it detracts from the already lackluster performance. Adam calls it really hot, but is not sure if it showed either of them at their greatest potential. Mary says the beginning is great, but from the middle on the energy dies down. But she calls them both gangsta. Nigel thinks that Krumping is tougher than what they were doing, that it was more hip hop. Nigel makes multiple references to his British heritage. He calls it unlyrical though and another word I can’t remember. Nigel calls Lauren on falling but covering it, but calls her a true professional for covering it.
Lacey and Neil: First, they’ve got a Latin jazz routine from Maria Torres. There’s apparently, a really tough lift. They’re afraid. Very afraid. Lacey says she has faith with him. She almost maintains a straight face. If I didn’t know better, I would think they threw in moves from their contemporary here. It doesn’t quite seem to be there yet. Some of their moves look good, but the rest looks amateur. They don’t appear to be interested in each other at all, and Neil also fails to fully pull off the masculinity necessary for this. Adam makes a comment on Neil’s shirtlessness first. Adam then moves on to calling them beautiful dancers, but tells Lacey that she needs to look at her partner rather than the camera, because Neil was pretty much focused on her. Adam gives it two thumbs up at the end. Mary says that the chemistry wasn’t there at all for her, calling it forced chemistry, citing Neil on his lack of interest in her at times too. She also calls them on their poor form during the beginning. But she says there are good parts. Overall, she kind of gives it a Meh. Adam takes over and reiterates Mary’s comments. If we didn’t hear it shrilly enough the first time. Nigel loved the music and the choreography. He didn’t like either of them though, because they had no chemistry and bad technique. Nigel utters those terrible two words, Dance School. Nigel says that just because every girl screams due to Neil’s shirtlessness, doesn’t mean its good. Neil was happy with his performance and felt they had good chemistry.
Pasha and Sabra: They’ve got a Tyce Diorio Broadway routine first. I miss the pre-dance package. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I don’t believe Tyce is a talented choreographer. The routine starts off slow, but picks up speed thankfully, because the steps aren’t good until the end. Pasha and Sabra dance them well enough, but I don’t feel overwhelming praise, if only because they were limited by the choreography. Adam says that he didn’t think he was going to like it, but he kind of did. He says this was the first time he got surprised, because they and character and overall performance. He calls Pasha great, but Sabra was a revelation. Mary says Sabra’s always a revelation, but calls Pasha as well. She loved the rolls and lifts, and can’t find anything she doesn’t love about it. Nigel says that the choreography forces them to perform, and he loves it. He calls the performance wonderful and says the reiterated why they’re there.
Sara And Danny, Take 2: This time, they’ve got a Shane Sparks hip-hop routine. Danny’s worried, because Shane was the one who was trying to keep him out of the top 20. Shane wasn’t worried about Sara, but Danny really surprised him and changed his mind. It’s good, if a little un-energetic at the end. It’s very early 90s, and, given the dancers, it is slightly disappointing. They just weren’t quite committed enough to it in my opinion. Cat admits that she loves Salt N Pepa’s “Push it”. Adam starts by saying that they were punk’d by wardrobe. He calls it a solid routine. Adam calls them the most versatile couple, but tells them to be nice to wardrobe. Mary doesn’t seem to get Adam’s wardrobe jokes. She didn’t quite like the dancing though, saying it didn’t hit it hard enough. She also says they were too cute for this. Nigel says that it didn’t quite mesh together, which was especially disappointing given that they’re in the top 8 and this is close to Sara’s style.
Lauren And Dominic, Take 2: Now it’s time for their Rumba, choreographed by Tony Meredith. Lauren doesn’t have a problem being close to Dominic. Dominic doesn’t have a problem being close to Lauren. Good for both I guess. Well, this is miles better than their krumping. It’s sexy and believable. Dominic’s face controls itself and Lauren looks really good and sexy. That being said, is it really a rumba? It doesn’t seem like one, especially considering that the song choice is an old R&B/Soul song that would lend itself better to a Mia Michael’s contemporary. Adam says that Dom’s B-boy friends should be impressed and proud, but mock him for his heels. Adam says their chemistry was great, but so ends the good news. But he says it didn’t look like a rumba, but saw a lot of posing and lines, as opposed to rumba dancing. Mary says that it wasn’t their fault that it wasn’t a rumba, but that the lines were beautiful. Mary says the actual rumbaing was a little too stiff, calling her end opinion mixed. Nigel compliments wardrobe, makes a pervy comment about Lauren’s lack of dress, and compliments Dominic about keeping his face in check. He bashes the technique a little bit, but says that the choreography made them look good. Nigel says that next week, though, things like this won’t pass because the dancers will have to be up to the choreographers level.
Lacey and Neil, Take 2: They’ve got a kickass Mia Michael’s contemporary routine, which is supposed to be about Mia Michaels and her dad reuniting in heaven. Both dancers feel like they have to get this dance right for Mia. I couldn’t agree more. It’s a beautiful and touching routine, but, and I’m going to sound like a jackass for saying this, I was kind of hoping for more. I’m so used to this absolutely breathtaking Mia Michaels routine, and this one being so personal and close to her, I was expecting balls to the wall genius and it didn’t quite deliver enough. They dance it proficiently enough I think though. Adam starts by thanking Mia for bringing something so personal and special and perpetuating true beauty in dance. He calls her unreal. Adam is so in love with what they just did. He says this will go down as one of the great dance performances on television. Adam calls them both beautiful and compliments their technique. Mary draws a heart, points to them and Mia, and appears to be crying. Apparently she’s going through a personal time as well, so we skip her comments. Nigel reiterates that Mia was nominated for an Emmy. Nigel says he’s so pleased to be on a show with this choreography. Nigel says that the magic lies in that they danced like no one was watching. He says he’s hugely touched and calls it one of the most beautiful things he’s seen ever. Neil and Lacey both seem to genuinely thank Mia for the choreography. They should be, because this piece just guaranteed they’ll both be around next week.
Sabra and Pasha, Take 2: The last dance of the night is a Tony Meredith quickstep. Apparently it’s very fast. I never would have guessed. Sabra admits to being confused and tripping a lot. They’re both determined though. This is my favorite routine of the night. Everything just kind of came together for me. Their costumes were awesome, the song was awesome, and most importantly, their dancing was awesome. My only complaint would be that Pasha appeared to be dragging Sabra around the stage at times. Adam also says awesome repeatedly, loves the costumes, and compliments the choreography. He loved the use of the stage, and the highs and lows of the piece. Sabra freaks him out because she’s so good. She’s Adam’s girl apparently. Adam bows down. Mary says that that was a very difficult routine and they tore it up and they make Mary tear up. She loved both of their technique and calls Sabra a butterfly. Nigel says that it was the perfect piece to come after Mia’s emotional piece, and thinks their talent was brilliant and their use of the stage was great. He calls them the best couple of the night. Sabra says that the quickstep was her biggest fear, and she’s pleased that she was able to do it, and thanks Pasha for helping her through it.
Over the closing, every gathers around Dominic as he displays some actually awesome B-boy spinning. It was pretty freaking cool.
My Ranking of the Routines:
1) Sabra and Pasha- Quickstep
2) Danny and Sara- Argentine Tango
3) Lacey and Neil- Contemporary
4) Lauren and Dominic- Rumba
5) Danny and Sara- Hip Hop
6) Sabra and Pasha- Broadway
7) Lacey and Neil- Latin Jazz
8) Lauren and Dominic- Krumping
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Pilot Review: Cavemen
Cavemen
ABC. Tuesdays at 8.
Starring Bill English, Nick Kroll, Sam Huntington, Kaitlin Doubleday, Stephanie Lemelin, and Julie White
You know how in my review of The Big Bang Theory I said that it could only go up from there? Well, I lied. Apparently you can go down. FAR down. I’m pretty sure I can confidently say that Cavemen WILL be the worst new show of the year. This show is so wildly offensive that I’m surprised that we haven’t heard any boycotts from groups like the NAACP. But not only is the show offensive, the show is wildly unfunny. Lets see, painfully bad topical humor? Check. Wacky outfits. Check. Groan Inducing Caveman jokes. Double Check. At least there’s no wacky montages or talking to the camera. But I’m sure those are coming.
But more on the offensive front. There is a fairly long conversation about the terms “Cro-Maggers” and its various derivatives. Do you get it, because that kind of sounds like the N-Word? Oh, and lets not forget the last scene, where it’s announced that the tip jar is stolen and everyone looks our cavemen and flames pop up behind them. Do you get it again? That it looks kind of like a lynching? What, you don’t find racism or lynchings funny? Oh, then I guess you shouldn’t watch Cavemen. Seriously, is this supposed to be a racial commentary? Because it’s not. It’s just unfunny and offensive. I swear, if there’s an episode later on involving their Uncle Tom…
Now, on to the cast. All these people should be ashamed of themselves. English, Kroll, and Huntington (Especially you, you’re reasonably well known) are all stupid caricatures of personality types. And they’re always in makeup, so if you did this for the fame, it’s not likely to come. Except as that guy who starred in that wildly offensive Cavemen sitcom. Those without makeup should equally be mortified with themselves, because their faces will be associated with this. Now, I wanna call out a few people here.
Julie White: You are a well-respected actress (you got raves on Broadway recently. For god’s sake, didn’t you win a Tony?). Why the hell are you in this dreck?
John Heard: See Above, but without the Broadway stuff.
Travis Schuldt: You are on Scrubs, so you clearly understand what a good comedy is. So why do you pop up here for 3 useless minutes. Was the paycheck really worth associating yourself with this?
Overall, I will be shocked if this makes it to air in its current form. This is one of the most wildly offensive shows I have ever seen. And it’s not even funny (with the exception of an occasional one liner from Julie White). Neither the person I was watching this with nor I laughed a single time. At the end, however, we both agreed that it was beyond offensive. Which is why this receives a:
Rating: Avoid At All Costs.
Big Brother 7/31. God Made Me Write This Recap.
Previously on Big Brother, the house lost a personality equivalent to a ficus, everyone pondered a mystery vote, Amber showed her lack of knowledge of the English language, Dustin won HOH and was swayed, Danielle made out with Nick and then whined about the situation to Dad, and Kail and Jen were nominated for the second straight week in a row. We enter the house circa 1940 (I’m guessing, because it’s kind of black and white) with Kail and Jen freshly nominated. Dick is very pleased because his nominations are up there. Dick, I’m guessing, thinks it’s his single-handed accomplishment. Dick congratulates Dustin. Kail thinks she’s a pawn, but she’s very wrong. Jen, finally showing emotion, goes to the bathroom and cries in secret. If I needed to reiterate why I love Jen, it’s because of moments like this. She is clearly so strong but also so vulnerable, and she doesn’t feel like people can see her with a chink in her armor. Dustin and Kail go into HOH and Dustin informs Kail that neither Jen nor Kail is the intended target, Zach is, and Jen will go home if the nominations don’t change. Dustin is all sympathetic, and then he goes into the Diary Room and says Kail shouldn’t trust him. Jen is cleaning herself up and Nick comes to comfort her, as does Kail. Jen reiterates how hurt she is and Kail reassures her that they’ll survive again. Jen says she’s not crying because she’s scared to go home, she just doesn’t get why she’s nominated. Kail tells her to be strong. I find this very funny, because they are the reverse. Amber, having witnessed the entire situation, immediately goes and tells Dustin that Jen is a fake bitch and Nick is comforting her, how dare he. Dustin thinks there’s a leak in the alliance of 7. Amber seriously blames everyone in the house for everything. I bet she’s gonna go cry about it Very quickly, it’s time to pick veto players. Kail doesn’t want Dick, Danielle, or Zach playing. Dustin picks Danielle. Jen picks Jameka who believes that Jen picking her ball means God wants her to win it for Jen. Kail picks Jessica. Eric is chosen as host and dances like a monkey. Dustin informs them that they have 17 hours. It’s time for God Talk with Kail and Jameka, where they strongly believe that God cares about the goings on in the Big Brother house, and if your ball gets picked, God wants you to win. Jameka assures Jen that God’s gonna give her the win and she’ll take Jen off if she wins. Jen thanks her and is very happy that she’s God-fearing. Jameka tells Dustin and Dick this, and Dick clearly looks frustrated by Jameka believing in God’s will. I somehow don’t think Dick would question this if it were Danielle in Jen’s position. Hypocrite. Dick can’t believe it, and it’s reiterated by power chords in the background. Seriously Big Brother, because he’s a rocker dad you put power chords behind him in the Diary Room? Jameka doesn’t care about Dick’s opinion because he’s an atheist and calls himself Evil. Dick agrees that God probably has better things to do, and thinks that this is Jameka’s personal agenda. I no longer care what Dick says though, because on the feeds he has now gone above and beyond in attacking Jen, spouting vile shit and pouring tea on her. So Dick, even though I agree, I don’t really care what you say.
It’s time for a veto competition, and Eric comes out dressed like a pretentious Frenchmen. Apparently, everyone does. This week’s challenge involves the Big Brother art gallery. There’s wine and cheese for everyone (even those on slop?). The challenge revolves around Vincent Van Veto (Oh Big Brother, you so funny). It’s about slogans interpreted through art. It’s complicated, involving Big Brother bucks. Danielle gets the first one (Head of Household). Danielle gets number two as well (Memory wall). She’s clever that one. But a whiny brat too. They cancel each other out. Kail gets number 3. Danielle eliminates herself on number 4. After number 4, they can purchase certain items. The first thing is a trip for two to Barbados and Dustin takes it for 750 dollars and people are pissed off seemingly, because he told others to fight for the veto. Dick calls him a jackass. Kail massively botches the next one and eliminates herself. Kail is pissed because the pawn always goes home (Big Brother very cruelly rings the ding ding at this comment). Dustin gets Julie Chen, then chopping block, putting him in the lead by 750 dollars. Up next is another sale item, and it’s 5 grand. Dustin rings in again, getting himself some spending money for Barbados. Amber, in the diary room, doesn’t think this was nice and starts bawling about how Jameka could have taken it as well. Very nice Amber. Cry about something pointless again. Jen rings in on the last one, answers very wrongly, takes a sip of wine, and gives Jameka the power of veto. Dick immediately accuses Jen of purposefully botching the last one because Jameka promised to use it. Again, I’m guessing he’s right. And again, I believe that Jen is a genius. It’s a brilliant strategy. Jameka regrets telling her that she would take her off if she won. Jameka, what if God wanted you to tell her, because then the game would play out the way it did. Did you think of that? No? I guess you need to be heathen to think smart like that.
When we come back, Dick is confronting Dustin about his wicked, wicked ways. Dick says he wouldn’t have done it (I don’t fully believe this), and Dustin admits that he was selfish. So what, this is a game for personal gain. Amber is so mad right now, and looks like she’s crying again. Jameka stands by that she’s following God’s will (over church organs. Amber says she wouldn’t have taken the money (Again, I don’t believe this). Jameka calls god a gangster (Jameka, you rock). Amber is crying again because Dustin is greedy and because Jameka is such a beautiful person. Can someone remove Amber’s tear ducts? PLEASE? Dustin admits that he needs money, and Eric listens to him but chastises him in the diary room. Is it just me, or is everyone backstabbing a lot more this year. Dick starts yelling at Jen again for letting Jameka win. Jen is actually fighting back this time, but she just ignores him at the end and walks away. Kail wonders why Dick cares so much. Dick claims he says everyone is thinking it, which Kail contradicts, to which Dick responds that she doesn’t matter. Great logic there Dick. Everyone seems to be disagreeing with him and telling him to shut up though. I’m not sure if anything more happens here, because it seems like CBS may have cut to commercial in the middle of the show. That, or the cast of The Invasion just joined the Big Brother house.
It’s time for our America’s player shenanigans. Eric has to repeat “I’d Do That For A Dollar” repeatedly. He seems to take it in stride. First he goes into a pillowcase, and they drag him around the yard in it. He pitches the idea to Dick about Amber’s ridiculous expressions and repeatedly saying some dumb expression “I’d do that for a dollar”. Dick bites at the pitch. Eric keeps repeating, much to some houseguests’ chagrin. He jumps in the pool with all his clothes on for a dollar. I hate the phrase already. Why couldn’t it be Sweet Chicken America? We’re finally introduced to the LNC as it stands (or the alliance of 7). The have to decide between Nick and Zach. The group seems to be going towards Nick and Danielle looks like she’s about to break down and have another hissy fit. Eric is fighting to get rid of Nick. Danielle tries to get Jen kicked out, even though Jameka is adamant about using the veto. Amber contradicts that Nick does the same thing that she claims Jen does. Danielle walks out of the HOH room, and I’m surprised she isn’t huffing. Instead, she’s crying in the bathroom and claiming that Amber is personally attacking her. Jessica points out that Danielle’s romantic drama is not theirs to deal with and it’ll be better for her. Jameka reiterates that she wants Zach gone. We get dramatic music and pictures of the houseguests. Get it, because there’s drama in the house? No, I know its just filler, but I’m trying to make this recap snazzy.
It’s time for Jameka to stare at the memory wall and look ponderous. Jameka reiterates that she’s prayed to check if what she’s doing is right. Zach still thinks Dustin won’t put him up. Nick is not worried either. Kail thinks that Zach should be put up if Jameka uses the veto. It’s time for the veto meeting. Jen argues that everything happens for a reason and she enjoys being here. Kail isn’t going to ask Jameka to use the veto on her over her friend. Jameka says she’s learned things about certain people’s characters. Jameka says she wants her actions to speak more than her words, and she unsurprisingly vetoes Jen. Amber looks on the verge of tears again. Does the woman do anything but cry and backstab people, sometimes at the same time? Dustin makes a speech about people playing all sides and nominates Nick. Danielle looks ready to huff off again. And with the slamming of the veto case, the meeting is adjourned. Danielle cries in the diary room because she doesn’t have many people in the house. Dustin says it’s a game and people shouldn’t get too attached. Nick says he’s nominated because he’s a threat down the line. Kail is bewildered as to what’s happening, and she yet again doesn’t feel safe. Jen is more upset over Nick’s nomination than her own, and calls Dustin a turd. Amber is crying AGAIN. A woman this unstable should not be allowed to have children. Take away her daughter Child Services. She can keep her dog. They’re the same in her heart, right?
Just FYI, this is my current ranking of the houseguests:
1) Jen
2 (tie) Eric/Jessica
4) Jameka
(BIG GAP HERE)
5) Kail
6) Dustin
7) Nick
8)Zach
(ANOTHER BIG GAP HERE)
9) Danielle
10(tie) Dick/Amber- I really wish we could evict both in one fell swoop.
It’s time for a veto competition, and Eric comes out dressed like a pretentious Frenchmen. Apparently, everyone does. This week’s challenge involves the Big Brother art gallery. There’s wine and cheese for everyone (even those on slop?). The challenge revolves around Vincent Van Veto (Oh Big Brother, you so funny). It’s about slogans interpreted through art. It’s complicated, involving Big Brother bucks. Danielle gets the first one (Head of Household). Danielle gets number two as well (Memory wall). She’s clever that one. But a whiny brat too. They cancel each other out. Kail gets number 3. Danielle eliminates herself on number 4. After number 4, they can purchase certain items. The first thing is a trip for two to Barbados and Dustin takes it for 750 dollars and people are pissed off seemingly, because he told others to fight for the veto. Dick calls him a jackass. Kail massively botches the next one and eliminates herself. Kail is pissed because the pawn always goes home (Big Brother very cruelly rings the ding ding at this comment). Dustin gets Julie Chen, then chopping block, putting him in the lead by 750 dollars. Up next is another sale item, and it’s 5 grand. Dustin rings in again, getting himself some spending money for Barbados. Amber, in the diary room, doesn’t think this was nice and starts bawling about how Jameka could have taken it as well. Very nice Amber. Cry about something pointless again. Jen rings in on the last one, answers very wrongly, takes a sip of wine, and gives Jameka the power of veto. Dick immediately accuses Jen of purposefully botching the last one because Jameka promised to use it. Again, I’m guessing he’s right. And again, I believe that Jen is a genius. It’s a brilliant strategy. Jameka regrets telling her that she would take her off if she won. Jameka, what if God wanted you to tell her, because then the game would play out the way it did. Did you think of that? No? I guess you need to be heathen to think smart like that.
When we come back, Dick is confronting Dustin about his wicked, wicked ways. Dick says he wouldn’t have done it (I don’t fully believe this), and Dustin admits that he was selfish. So what, this is a game for personal gain. Amber is so mad right now, and looks like she’s crying again. Jameka stands by that she’s following God’s will (over church organs. Amber says she wouldn’t have taken the money (Again, I don’t believe this). Jameka calls god a gangster (Jameka, you rock). Amber is crying again because Dustin is greedy and because Jameka is such a beautiful person. Can someone remove Amber’s tear ducts? PLEASE? Dustin admits that he needs money, and Eric listens to him but chastises him in the diary room. Is it just me, or is everyone backstabbing a lot more this year. Dick starts yelling at Jen again for letting Jameka win. Jen is actually fighting back this time, but she just ignores him at the end and walks away. Kail wonders why Dick cares so much. Dick claims he says everyone is thinking it, which Kail contradicts, to which Dick responds that she doesn’t matter. Great logic there Dick. Everyone seems to be disagreeing with him and telling him to shut up though. I’m not sure if anything more happens here, because it seems like CBS may have cut to commercial in the middle of the show. That, or the cast of The Invasion just joined the Big Brother house.
It’s time for our America’s player shenanigans. Eric has to repeat “I’d Do That For A Dollar” repeatedly. He seems to take it in stride. First he goes into a pillowcase, and they drag him around the yard in it. He pitches the idea to Dick about Amber’s ridiculous expressions and repeatedly saying some dumb expression “I’d do that for a dollar”. Dick bites at the pitch. Eric keeps repeating, much to some houseguests’ chagrin. He jumps in the pool with all his clothes on for a dollar. I hate the phrase already. Why couldn’t it be Sweet Chicken America? We’re finally introduced to the LNC as it stands (or the alliance of 7). The have to decide between Nick and Zach. The group seems to be going towards Nick and Danielle looks like she’s about to break down and have another hissy fit. Eric is fighting to get rid of Nick. Danielle tries to get Jen kicked out, even though Jameka is adamant about using the veto. Amber contradicts that Nick does the same thing that she claims Jen does. Danielle walks out of the HOH room, and I’m surprised she isn’t huffing. Instead, she’s crying in the bathroom and claiming that Amber is personally attacking her. Jessica points out that Danielle’s romantic drama is not theirs to deal with and it’ll be better for her. Jameka reiterates that she wants Zach gone. We get dramatic music and pictures of the houseguests. Get it, because there’s drama in the house? No, I know its just filler, but I’m trying to make this recap snazzy.
It’s time for Jameka to stare at the memory wall and look ponderous. Jameka reiterates that she’s prayed to check if what she’s doing is right. Zach still thinks Dustin won’t put him up. Nick is not worried either. Kail thinks that Zach should be put up if Jameka uses the veto. It’s time for the veto meeting. Jen argues that everything happens for a reason and she enjoys being here. Kail isn’t going to ask Jameka to use the veto on her over her friend. Jameka says she’s learned things about certain people’s characters. Jameka says she wants her actions to speak more than her words, and she unsurprisingly vetoes Jen. Amber looks on the verge of tears again. Does the woman do anything but cry and backstab people, sometimes at the same time? Dustin makes a speech about people playing all sides and nominates Nick. Danielle looks ready to huff off again. And with the slamming of the veto case, the meeting is adjourned. Danielle cries in the diary room because she doesn’t have many people in the house. Dustin says it’s a game and people shouldn’t get too attached. Nick says he’s nominated because he’s a threat down the line. Kail is bewildered as to what’s happening, and she yet again doesn’t feel safe. Jen is more upset over Nick’s nomination than her own, and calls Dustin a turd. Amber is crying AGAIN. A woman this unstable should not be allowed to have children. Take away her daughter Child Services. She can keep her dog. They’re the same in her heart, right?
Just FYI, this is my current ranking of the houseguests:
1) Jen
2 (tie) Eric/Jessica
4) Jameka
(BIG GAP HERE)
5) Kail
6) Dustin
7) Nick
8)Zach
(ANOTHER BIG GAP HERE)
9) Danielle
10(tie) Dick/Amber- I really wish we could evict both in one fell swoop.
On The Lot 7/31. These Qualify As Road Movies?
This week “On The Lot” is road movie week. Oh, and Jerry O' Connell week. You see, the winner of last week gets to work with him this week. Isn’t that a privilege to work with the star of Tomcats? Oh, wait. It’s not. I forgot. Adrianna pops up on stage in a long smog colored dress. I prefer it when she wears lingerie on stage. At least she’s mildly interesting then. This week, everyone is nervous. Andrew compares this competition to a round of golf, where you can have a bad week. It’s actually a kind of apt comparison, at least for some of the directors. I don’t quite think it applies to Andrew as well. . Adrianna pops up, announces it was a very close vote between Andrew and Zach. The director leaving the lot this week is Andrew. I’m pretty sure he was the least talented director left (it’s between him and Jason), so I don’t feel a big loss. Adrianna reiterates that this week is road movie week, which means a lot of Ford product placement. Last week’s top vote getter was Jason (Wha?) so he’s get the right to work with the wildly talented Jerry O’ Connell. We get reintroduced to our judges, but Garry Marshall is nowhere to be seen, except as a dismembered head. And I don’t mean in the good sense. Penny Marshall is holding up her brother’s cardboard head, because he couldn’t be here. This week’s guest judge is Gary Ross, a fairly talented director. How did they rope him into this?
Adam is up first, with another dance movie, about a car radio that makes people dance. It’s not a good sign if you’re repeating ideas and the competition isn’t even over. The movie is nowhere near as strong as his “Dance Man” short from the first week. That’s not to say its bad, its just not very good. Oh, and Tatyana Ali cannot play a cop. The dancing is fairly tame as well. Carrie thinks he clearly has something going on with musicals. Carrie laughed really hard (which she claims its tough to do) and loved it. Gary Ross found it unbelievably ambitious and proficient and charming. He thinks that the ending could have been a little cohesive, but still thinks its very well. Penny agrees and likes the choreography. Her comments prove that while annoying speech patterns run in the family, Garry clearly got all the crazy genes.
Sam is up next, but not before Adrianna informs us to stick around to find out next week’s logline, the winner of the competition. This week, Sam’s movie is about a backseat-driving test. It’s a funny enough, albeit old, concept. Sam recognizes he has to hit a home run this week. Unfortunately for Sam, this is more like a ground out. It’s not particularly funny, not particularly entertaining in terms of the car stunts, and the characters aren’t particularly enthralling. Was the Aussie guy supposed to be like Steve Irwin? Either way, it’s still not particularly funny. The only thing redeeming about it is the vaguely funny punch line. The more I watch this show, the more I think that there are only two talented directors. Carrie thinks it’s the best thing he’s done here because everyone’s parents are either backseat drivers or alcoholics. Ok Carrie. Gary Ross repeats the phrase “technically proficient” but wishes he’d developed the relationship with the main two characters. Penny delivers a useless quote (which she claims her brother made her day) and says that it probably is his best work. I wonder if any of these people were paying attention during horror week or week one.
We’re back and it’s time for Adrianna to make awkward chitchat with our guest director. She asks whether he prefers writing or directing. He says he likes both. Zach is up next, doing a sequel to the movie last week that almost got him eliminated. So from tonight it’s retreads and sequels. Zach hopes he can make it to the end and win this thing. I don’t doubt he will. This is far and away the best movie so far. It’s cute and much better than last week. The only problem is that it’s not a road movie. It’s a sci-fi/pirate movie with a car involved. So Zach, while I like your movie, you didn’t really complete the assignment. So far though, it’s not looking like that’s going to matter. Carrie thinks it was gutsy to make a sequel to an unliked movie, but says this was a lot better, and she only gets on him because he’s so talented. I really don’t want to think about Carrie Fisher getting on anyone. Unless it took place 30 years ago in a Princess Leia bikini. Gary Ross admits that he hasn’t watched the show (he didn’t see the first part) but thinks that the tone was great and fun. He sums it up by saying he did an excellent job. Penny Marshall is glad that he took their notes from last week. She rambles about chicken wire fence and I definitely see the relation to her brother. Adrianna’s cleavage appears to almost be popping out of her dress, and I don’t miss the lingerie as much.
It’s Jerry O’ Connell Time! Do you hear that everyone? Jerry O’ Connell is about to be on! You don’t care? Oh, no one cares? Good to know. Someone should tell the On The Lot producers. Jason continues to O’Connell suck-upage. Jason hopes that if people see he can direct a big name, people will take notice. Not if they’re watching On The Lot, they won’t. His movie starts off, and it’s clear to me that Jason does not quite know how to set up a car shot very well. Half of his stars head is out of frame, and part of it is blurry as well. Oh, and the ending of his movie is terrible. It doesn’t at all make sense with the rest of the dialogue leading up to it. It’s like he had originally made the ending that they were disposing of a mentally handicapped person, but then remembered that the judges didn’t like that, so he tacked on a completely different ending instead, involving pulling pranks on Asians. Carrie makes a joke about Jason always looking like a schlub. She didn’t quite get this, and thinks that the end doesn’t match up with the beginning and the middle. Gary was confused as well, and doesn’t understand any of the set up for the ending, which is why the payoff doesn’t work. But he compliments his shot technique for some reason. Penny quotes her brother, stumbles over her words, insults Asians, and pretty much confirms to me that she may be drunk. Adrianna shills Jason, but I’m distracted by what I’m pretty sure is body glitter on her cleavage. I thought only strippers wear that, but whatever. Maybe we just found out how Adrianna actually got the job.
Adrianna is back to continue sucking up to Jerry O’ Connell. He plugs his new show, which follows the utterly atrocious Cavemen. Will is our last director, and he’s doing the classic story of Man vs. Machine. I’m more intrigued as to why John Ratzenberger from Cheers and various Pixar movies is in the audience. Doesn’t he have anything better to do? Will plays the “doing it for my kids” card again, and again I think that people should stop abandoning their children to go on reality shows for them (I’m looking at you Amber from Big Brother). Well, I’m pretty sure this is Will’s weakest movie to date, especially compared to his adorable and awesome lamp movie from last week. The trucker in the movie seems to do little to no actual damage to the guy, and the ending doesn’t feel like a full payoff. I don’t know why, but I just feel shortchanged by the end. Carrie thinks that Will is an unbelievable original and she compliments his spirit. She says little to nothing about the actual film. Gary compliments his technique (Can he do anything else?) but thinks that the car could have been more of a character. Penny thinks that the film was set up by the package not the film but doesn’t understand why the guy hated the car as opposed to the traffic. Will makes goofy facial expressions like always and I become more confident that Adrianna has boob glitter.
Adrianna is back to announce the winning logline of the logline challenge. The directors next week have to do something about a guy waking up and not remembering the previous night. Adrianna says this is normal, and I wonder about Adrianna’ drinking habits, and the possible cause of the boob glitter. Carrie’s favorite was Adam. Gary’s was
Adam as well. Penny goes with Sam, but only because she doesn’t want to sweep.
My Rankings:
1)Zach- He didn’t quite follow the assignment, but his is the only one I would classify as good.
2)Will- The best of the bad, but only because it was well shot
3)Adam- Meh. It wasn’t that bad, but it wasn’t that good.
4)Sam- Not very good, but at least he kept his actors in frame
5)Jason- Bad on every front. This really ought to get him kicked off the lot.
Adam is up first, with another dance movie, about a car radio that makes people dance. It’s not a good sign if you’re repeating ideas and the competition isn’t even over. The movie is nowhere near as strong as his “Dance Man” short from the first week. That’s not to say its bad, its just not very good. Oh, and Tatyana Ali cannot play a cop. The dancing is fairly tame as well. Carrie thinks he clearly has something going on with musicals. Carrie laughed really hard (which she claims its tough to do) and loved it. Gary Ross found it unbelievably ambitious and proficient and charming. He thinks that the ending could have been a little cohesive, but still thinks its very well. Penny agrees and likes the choreography. Her comments prove that while annoying speech patterns run in the family, Garry clearly got all the crazy genes.
Sam is up next, but not before Adrianna informs us to stick around to find out next week’s logline, the winner of the competition. This week, Sam’s movie is about a backseat-driving test. It’s a funny enough, albeit old, concept. Sam recognizes he has to hit a home run this week. Unfortunately for Sam, this is more like a ground out. It’s not particularly funny, not particularly entertaining in terms of the car stunts, and the characters aren’t particularly enthralling. Was the Aussie guy supposed to be like Steve Irwin? Either way, it’s still not particularly funny. The only thing redeeming about it is the vaguely funny punch line. The more I watch this show, the more I think that there are only two talented directors. Carrie thinks it’s the best thing he’s done here because everyone’s parents are either backseat drivers or alcoholics. Ok Carrie. Gary Ross repeats the phrase “technically proficient” but wishes he’d developed the relationship with the main two characters. Penny delivers a useless quote (which she claims her brother made her day) and says that it probably is his best work. I wonder if any of these people were paying attention during horror week or week one.
We’re back and it’s time for Adrianna to make awkward chitchat with our guest director. She asks whether he prefers writing or directing. He says he likes both. Zach is up next, doing a sequel to the movie last week that almost got him eliminated. So from tonight it’s retreads and sequels. Zach hopes he can make it to the end and win this thing. I don’t doubt he will. This is far and away the best movie so far. It’s cute and much better than last week. The only problem is that it’s not a road movie. It’s a sci-fi/pirate movie with a car involved. So Zach, while I like your movie, you didn’t really complete the assignment. So far though, it’s not looking like that’s going to matter. Carrie thinks it was gutsy to make a sequel to an unliked movie, but says this was a lot better, and she only gets on him because he’s so talented. I really don’t want to think about Carrie Fisher getting on anyone. Unless it took place 30 years ago in a Princess Leia bikini. Gary Ross admits that he hasn’t watched the show (he didn’t see the first part) but thinks that the tone was great and fun. He sums it up by saying he did an excellent job. Penny Marshall is glad that he took their notes from last week. She rambles about chicken wire fence and I definitely see the relation to her brother. Adrianna’s cleavage appears to almost be popping out of her dress, and I don’t miss the lingerie as much.
It’s Jerry O’ Connell Time! Do you hear that everyone? Jerry O’ Connell is about to be on! You don’t care? Oh, no one cares? Good to know. Someone should tell the On The Lot producers. Jason continues to O’Connell suck-upage. Jason hopes that if people see he can direct a big name, people will take notice. Not if they’re watching On The Lot, they won’t. His movie starts off, and it’s clear to me that Jason does not quite know how to set up a car shot very well. Half of his stars head is out of frame, and part of it is blurry as well. Oh, and the ending of his movie is terrible. It doesn’t at all make sense with the rest of the dialogue leading up to it. It’s like he had originally made the ending that they were disposing of a mentally handicapped person, but then remembered that the judges didn’t like that, so he tacked on a completely different ending instead, involving pulling pranks on Asians. Carrie makes a joke about Jason always looking like a schlub. She didn’t quite get this, and thinks that the end doesn’t match up with the beginning and the middle. Gary was confused as well, and doesn’t understand any of the set up for the ending, which is why the payoff doesn’t work. But he compliments his shot technique for some reason. Penny quotes her brother, stumbles over her words, insults Asians, and pretty much confirms to me that she may be drunk. Adrianna shills Jason, but I’m distracted by what I’m pretty sure is body glitter on her cleavage. I thought only strippers wear that, but whatever. Maybe we just found out how Adrianna actually got the job.
Adrianna is back to continue sucking up to Jerry O’ Connell. He plugs his new show, which follows the utterly atrocious Cavemen. Will is our last director, and he’s doing the classic story of Man vs. Machine. I’m more intrigued as to why John Ratzenberger from Cheers and various Pixar movies is in the audience. Doesn’t he have anything better to do? Will plays the “doing it for my kids” card again, and again I think that people should stop abandoning their children to go on reality shows for them (I’m looking at you Amber from Big Brother). Well, I’m pretty sure this is Will’s weakest movie to date, especially compared to his adorable and awesome lamp movie from last week. The trucker in the movie seems to do little to no actual damage to the guy, and the ending doesn’t feel like a full payoff. I don’t know why, but I just feel shortchanged by the end. Carrie thinks that Will is an unbelievable original and she compliments his spirit. She says little to nothing about the actual film. Gary compliments his technique (Can he do anything else?) but thinks that the car could have been more of a character. Penny thinks that the film was set up by the package not the film but doesn’t understand why the guy hated the car as opposed to the traffic. Will makes goofy facial expressions like always and I become more confident that Adrianna has boob glitter.
Adrianna is back to announce the winning logline of the logline challenge. The directors next week have to do something about a guy waking up and not remembering the previous night. Adrianna says this is normal, and I wonder about Adrianna’ drinking habits, and the possible cause of the boob glitter. Carrie’s favorite was Adam. Gary’s was
Adam as well. Penny goes with Sam, but only because she doesn’t want to sweep.
My Rankings:
1)Zach- He didn’t quite follow the assignment, but his is the only one I would classify as good.
2)Will- The best of the bad, but only because it was well shot
3)Adam- Meh. It wasn’t that bad, but it wasn’t that good.
4)Sam- Not very good, but at least he kept his actors in frame
5)Jason- Bad on every front. This really ought to get him kicked off the lot.
Monday, July 30, 2007
Pilot Review: The Big Bang Theory
The Big Bang Theory
CBS. Mondays at 8:30.
Starring Johnny Galecki, Jim Parsons, and Kaley Cuoco
This is the first pilot I watched, and watching this one first is, I believe, a good way to start watching pilots. Because I truly hope the quality can only go up from here. This painful painful half-hour sitcom from Chuck Lorre and Bill Prady deals with two nerds and their hot new girl neighbor. It has predictable jokes, like the nerds rewatch Battlestar Galactica, and insult each other’s quantum mechanics. Once the girl neighbor pops into the picture, it only gets more awkward and groan inducing. See, the nerds don’t know how to have regular social interactions. They’re awkward around girls and calculate the best spot in their apartment to sit in due to cross breezes and the direction of the TV. They have funny nerd things, like Star Wars shampoo and boards with incomprehensible equations. And, because they’re nerds, they have dietary problems, like lactose intolerance (because only nerds have that). Isn’t that funny? Oh, it’s not? Someone should tell Lorre and Prady.
The first episode deals with Sheldon and Leonard (Nerds can’t have regular names now either? No offense meant to anyone with the name Sheldon or Leonard) meeting Penny (Cuoco) and trying to get her TV back from her muscular ex-boyfriend. Pantsless hilarity ensues. Did I say hilarity? I didn’t mean it.
I think of myself as a nerd, and this show gives us a bad name. We’re not all socially inept girl-phobic people with bad hairdos. This is something the show doesn’t seem to realize. This upcoming season is supposed to be the season of the Nerd (with other shows like Chuck also being about nerds) but I really hope that this isn’t the representation that nerds are getting on television. If it is, it’s more than a little insulting.
That’s not to say that the show is a complete and utter unsalvageable trainwreck. Cuoco does bring energy and cuteness to the screen as Penny, and the two other nerd friends are so much more entertaining to watch that I wish that they were the main characters and Galecki and Parsons were the sidekick nerds. And the show does have the occasional mildly chuckle-inducing line, most of which have been already used to death in the promos. If the show focuses more on Cuoco’s character and highlights the other two nerds (meaning not Sheldon and Leonard) more, it might become something worth the occasional watch, but as it stands:
Rating: Not Worth Your Time
Sunday, July 29, 2007
Big Brother. Lazy (Television) Sunday...
Previously on Big Brother 8, Danielle further embarrassed her boyfriend on national television, Dick got Mike (Who?) out of the house, Eric’s vote threw the house into disarray, and Dustin won HOH, unfortunately guaranteeing Amber another week of safety. We come into the house in it’s full two-tone glory, and immediately go to the Diary Room to hear Kail praising God for saving her ass and Dick immediately launches into terrorizing Kail and Jen. Oh Dick, you’re so predictable. Jen defends herself (rightly) but Dick will have none of that. Nick thinks it was Jessica and tells Amber such. Amber, being the backstabbing bitch she is (you will see more hatred towards her) immediately goes to Jess and begins to blame Nick. Eric is just glad that his name isn’t being mentioned, and tries to deflect to Jen again. But Amber seems to be stirring the Nick pot, and I think the pot may be filled with her tears. Amber “knows in her heart” it was Nick. Dick asks Jen why she would vote to keep Mike and Jen says that she didn’t because she wouldn’t vote against the house. Dick picks up that Jen somehow knows how the house is turning, and Amber immediately blames Nick for that as well. I wonder if she’s gonna start blaming her crying on him too. It’s time for HOH shenanigans though, and, look, Amber’s crying. Dustin won, and she thinks that “SHE and Dustin” deserved it because they’re the strongest alliance in the house. I’m not going to touch all the problems with the sentence. Kail’s worried, but Jen isn’t, because she’s done nothing to him. Dustin’s HOH room is revealed, and all the pictures of his family get Amber crying (Again? Seriously?) and Kail thinking, “Gee, Dustin’s parents don’t mind him being gay. I wonder why?” Dustin breaks down over a letter from home, and does his best Amber impersonation. Dick and Amber get in a fight over whether children and pets have equal footing. Sucks to be Amber’s daughter, knowing that the dog is equal with you. Amber would apparently give her life for her dog. How did she pass her psych evaluation? The fight escalates and Amber proclaims that she’s done with him. I bet she tries to get him nominated. Tearfully.
Finally, we get some mention of the Dick at Nite show, where dick wanders around the house at night and causes mischief. Danielle is the first one we see pranked. She looks to be at wit’s end. Our next segment is Zach talking about creepy sexual things of his. Everyone looks mortified. Jameka dislikes Zach, but apparently she’s not the only one, as he goes around the house aggravating everyone. Zach wants to visit Danielle out of the house and offers her an egg. I feel uncomfortable for her. We get to revisit the Danielle//Dick drama, complete with Danielle being a whiny toddler and Dick throwing a pillow. She complains that he never listens to her and whines about not being treated with respect. I expect many a 15 year old around the country are saying ditto. Danielle makes the good point that she didn’t want to do this here. Danielle just whines while Dick tries to reason with her. She calls him a mean friend and says he doesn’t know her and huffs and puffs. Dick admits that he’s made mistakes, but Danielle just sulks. Dick comes across of heartfelt whereas Danielle just comes across as whiny. The victory goes to Dick. My viewing mate says that we don’t know what happened in their past and this is clearly affecting Danielle. My response is that Danielle also bitches and moans about Nick but then makes out with him and lets her boyfriend, a man she has said she cares deeply about, watch it on national television. So I’m pretty sure her emotions aren’t exactly trustworthy.
Upon our return, we get a piece on Eric and Jessica’s flirting. We get him flipping her and twirling her. It’s time for a medieval themed food competition. I think. They’re all kind of dressed like bootleg knights. Some of the funnier pairings are Dick and Kail (“A match made in hell”) and Eric and Zach (Stuck together because Zach would stop poking Eric who was sitting next to him). Dustin completely mispronounces sword and the competition commences. Jess and Jameka are the first to finish their egg and they win the competition. They get to choose the five people on slop for the week. First they pick Dick because he hasn’t been on slop yet. Zach is next because he’s creepy. Kail is next. Then Nick because they want to weaken him. Jessica is cutthroat. I’d watch out Eric. Jen is the last person on slop, and she’s pleased because it’s gonna help her avoid overeating. Then there’s some idiocy involving Dustin and his outfit. I don’t particularly care.
When we come back, Dick is pressuring Jen about whether she’s had a boob job. He’s insistent that she had one and puts words in her mouth about her enjoyment. He’s really pressuring her about her having plastic surgery. It’s kind of more off-putting. Jen neither confirms nor denies. Dick needs to lay off. Kail is trying to pressure Dustin into putting up Dick and Zach. Dustin doesn’t give her any answers, but proclaims to the camera that he’s like putty in his hands. Jen is next to talk to Dustin and brings up that pesky vote for Kail, and compares it to the mystifying mustard incident. The camera very smartly shows Eric doing both. Hehe Big Brother. Eric is told to get Jen nominated again. At the Late Night Crew (the name for the alliance of Dustin, Dick, Danielle, Jameka, Amber, Eric, and Jessica) meeting, Zach’s name is thrown out, and Kail seems like a sure thing. Eric gives a great scenario and basically gets Jen nominated. Eric, I like you. But I like Jen more. And I realize America is making you do this. But the whole “shooting the messenger” thing comes to mind. Plus, I’m pretty sure all the badmouthing you do isn’t because of America.
It’s nomination time, which means it’s time for footage of Dustin staring at the memory wall. Jen doesn’t think she’ll be nominated, nor does Zach. Kail’s nervous, but hopes it’s only as a pawn. Dustin warns us that not everyone’s going to be happy, and you can’t please everyone all at once. Apparently out of clichés, it’s time for the nomination ceremony. This week’s nominations are based on competitiveness and strategy. Like every other ceremony isn’t. Amber is safe (ugh), then Jessica, Dick, Jameka, Nick, Zach, Danielle, and finally Eric, meaning for the second straight week Jen and Kail are the nominees. Jen is nominated because she’s a strong competitor, and Kail has exhibited questionable behavior. Kail is really worried and she still thinks she’s a pawn. Dustin says that he wants Kail gone this week. Jen is finally fazed by this, as she can be seen crying in the bathroom. She didn’t think she’d done anything to Dustin. You didn’t Jen. America just doesn’t get you. But I do. Let's be friends?
Finally, we get some mention of the Dick at Nite show, where dick wanders around the house at night and causes mischief. Danielle is the first one we see pranked. She looks to be at wit’s end. Our next segment is Zach talking about creepy sexual things of his. Everyone looks mortified. Jameka dislikes Zach, but apparently she’s not the only one, as he goes around the house aggravating everyone. Zach wants to visit Danielle out of the house and offers her an egg. I feel uncomfortable for her. We get to revisit the Danielle//Dick drama, complete with Danielle being a whiny toddler and Dick throwing a pillow. She complains that he never listens to her and whines about not being treated with respect. I expect many a 15 year old around the country are saying ditto. Danielle makes the good point that she didn’t want to do this here. Danielle just whines while Dick tries to reason with her. She calls him a mean friend and says he doesn’t know her and huffs and puffs. Dick admits that he’s made mistakes, but Danielle just sulks. Dick comes across of heartfelt whereas Danielle just comes across as whiny. The victory goes to Dick. My viewing mate says that we don’t know what happened in their past and this is clearly affecting Danielle. My response is that Danielle also bitches and moans about Nick but then makes out with him and lets her boyfriend, a man she has said she cares deeply about, watch it on national television. So I’m pretty sure her emotions aren’t exactly trustworthy.
Upon our return, we get a piece on Eric and Jessica’s flirting. We get him flipping her and twirling her. It’s time for a medieval themed food competition. I think. They’re all kind of dressed like bootleg knights. Some of the funnier pairings are Dick and Kail (“A match made in hell”) and Eric and Zach (Stuck together because Zach would stop poking Eric who was sitting next to him). Dustin completely mispronounces sword and the competition commences. Jess and Jameka are the first to finish their egg and they win the competition. They get to choose the five people on slop for the week. First they pick Dick because he hasn’t been on slop yet. Zach is next because he’s creepy. Kail is next. Then Nick because they want to weaken him. Jessica is cutthroat. I’d watch out Eric. Jen is the last person on slop, and she’s pleased because it’s gonna help her avoid overeating. Then there’s some idiocy involving Dustin and his outfit. I don’t particularly care.
When we come back, Dick is pressuring Jen about whether she’s had a boob job. He’s insistent that she had one and puts words in her mouth about her enjoyment. He’s really pressuring her about her having plastic surgery. It’s kind of more off-putting. Jen neither confirms nor denies. Dick needs to lay off. Kail is trying to pressure Dustin into putting up Dick and Zach. Dustin doesn’t give her any answers, but proclaims to the camera that he’s like putty in his hands. Jen is next to talk to Dustin and brings up that pesky vote for Kail, and compares it to the mystifying mustard incident. The camera very smartly shows Eric doing both. Hehe Big Brother. Eric is told to get Jen nominated again. At the Late Night Crew (the name for the alliance of Dustin, Dick, Danielle, Jameka, Amber, Eric, and Jessica) meeting, Zach’s name is thrown out, and Kail seems like a sure thing. Eric gives a great scenario and basically gets Jen nominated. Eric, I like you. But I like Jen more. And I realize America is making you do this. But the whole “shooting the messenger” thing comes to mind. Plus, I’m pretty sure all the badmouthing you do isn’t because of America.
It’s nomination time, which means it’s time for footage of Dustin staring at the memory wall. Jen doesn’t think she’ll be nominated, nor does Zach. Kail’s nervous, but hopes it’s only as a pawn. Dustin warns us that not everyone’s going to be happy, and you can’t please everyone all at once. Apparently out of clichés, it’s time for the nomination ceremony. This week’s nominations are based on competitiveness and strategy. Like every other ceremony isn’t. Amber is safe (ugh), then Jessica, Dick, Jameka, Nick, Zach, Danielle, and finally Eric, meaning for the second straight week Jen and Kail are the nominees. Jen is nominated because she’s a strong competitor, and Kail has exhibited questionable behavior. Kail is really worried and she still thinks she’s a pawn. Dustin says that he wants Kail gone this week. Jen is finally fazed by this, as she can be seen crying in the bathroom. She didn’t think she’d done anything to Dustin. You didn’t Jen. America just doesn’t get you. But I do. Let's be friends?
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