Thursday, July 26, 2007

So You Think You Can Dance 7/26. Two More Get Cut And The Producers Apologize Patriotically

Cat starts out in the balcony wearing something very odd involving flowers on her head. As a result, she looks rather lumpy. The opening is cool, but a not as striking as the Ramalama (Bang Bang) number hat came at the same point last season. At least, I think it was at the same point. At times it's kind of overly reminiscent of Lacey and Kameron's first week Mia Michaels routine, but I do like it overall. Turns out it's a big Mia Michaels routine. That's probably why it was so reminiscent. Cat reminds us that the vote was completely our decision for the first time this season. The “judges” thing is starting to piss me off. We start with Mia on the panel, because apparently Mia's jacket was very offensive to the US Marines, and publicly apologizes because she didn't mean to offend everyone. I guess last night's show was wildly un-American, because apparently Wade's anti-war routine caused a stir as well, although Nigel tries to deflect that the message was against war as a concept, not the current war. Nigel's upset that he even has to apologize though, because art is supposed to make statements, but in the end he basically covers his and the show's asses. Cat sends wishes to the troops, and we're back to the show. Mary's scared that America may get it wrong, but she's more relaxed tonight, and by relaxed I think she means drunker. She seems it.

Cat's back up in the balcony, because we've got a special guest performer in Mika. I don't really know Mika's music. From the beginning he has the most stage presence of any one who the show has had perform. He's moving around the stage, he's kind of dancing, and he seems to be having fun. I can't tell whether he's lip-syncing because I'm completely distracted by how high his voice is and why the drummer is wearing purple spandex leggings. But his voice momentarily drops again and I'm lured back to watching the performance, which fits the show better than anyone else I've seen. I mean, the show is a competition, but it's about fun and showing how fun dance can be. Hilary Duff wasn't fun to watch. Neither was Enrique Iglesias. But Mika is. And I can finally decipher that the lyrics are all about shocking and loving him. He's doing a pretty good job at making those happen. The crowd gives him the best reaction that a performer has gotten, clearly they agree with me. I now notice that it's only 9:15. How the hell are they gonna fill an hour here. The top 5 girls are brought out, and we start with Sabra. We're treated to clips of their Tyce contemporary, where she earned glowing praise from Mia and Mary. Then we get a clip of her solo and her scream (Fantastic scream) and Mia calling Sabra her favorite. Sabra is safe, and I'm pleased, because she's my favorite female left in the competition. Jaimie is up next. He Viennese Waltz with Dominic was called the worst of the night basically, and her solo earned her praise for her lines again, but tat she plateaued emotionally. Jaimie is the first dancer in our bottom 4 tonight. Lacey is up next. She was praised for her Samba with Danny, including Mary telling her she was getting blown towards the finale. Her solo was also good and earned praise. She is safe. Which means Lauren or Sara is in the bottom 4, which sucks because I think they were possibly the best two girls last night. Lauren was definitely best of the night last night though. Right before we go to commercial, a hideous face from Lauren popped up on my screen. I think that was a glitch though. I just hope that particular face is never seen again. Lauren is up first. The judges loved her hip-hop, and she nailed Wade's solo better than anyone else. The judges just loved her last night, understandably. Sara and Neil's disco was fun and energetic and the judges liked it. I thought her solo was good, and some of the judges did as well, but Nigel found her dancing small. They were both great last night. Sara is safe, meaning Lauren, after this amazing week, finds herself in the bottom four. That is not good news for her in the long run.

It's time to bring the top five guys out here. There were two guys who were clearly weaker than their opponents this week, so I don't expect many surprises. Neil is up first. Like I just said, his disco was great. The judges also thought he hit the solo well, even if he was lacking enough emotion. Neil is safe this week. He should be. Danny is up next. I had a few problems with Danny's samba and the judges thought so as well. But his solo was amazing; with Mia saying he could be in the history books. Danny is also safe, and gloats a little too much about it, but I'm pleased, because he was great as well. Dominic's up next and immediately starts walking towards the bottom chairs. He was the biggest problem with the Viennese Waltz, and the judges hated him. I also found his solo to be possibly the worst of the night, and the judges thought he showed a distinct lack of technique. Dominic is in the bottom 4, as he should be. This leaves Kameron and Pasha, one of whom will be in the bottom as well. Kameron is up first. They didn't find him to be very good in the contemporary routine, but thought he proved himself with his solo. Pasha's hip-hop routine was great and they thought he was amazing for a Russian ballroom dancer. His solo, not so much. Words like “awkward” and “out of your league” came up. The final dancer in the bottom four is Kameron, meaning Pasha is safe. Mia is shocked at a couple of our bottom, because she thought Pasha would be. She's not happy. Mary is forced to save one and Lauren raises her hand, which Mary agrees with. Nigel says that it's easier for them now that it's out of their hands. Nigel reminds them that they're all making the tour and it's all about 250 grand now. I'm pretty sure I see dollar signs flash in their eyes as he says this.

It's time for the bottom 4 to perform solos, even though they won't change the results. First up is Jaimie, who accentuates her lines and her spins. You know, for a final solo, I'm not really impressed until the end. Dominic is up next, and while so his tricks are cool, I've seen much better moves from the other B-people this year. Lauren puts more life into her solo than I've ever seen. She seems so happy to be out there soloing. It's really endearing. Kameron's solo is fairly disappointing and dull, lacking any distinguishing cool moves, looking like an odd combination of hip-hop and contemporary.

It's results time. First up are the girls. Mia jokes about her jacket again and tells both girls that they're brilliant and amazing human beings. The girl going home is Jaimie. Honestly, I'm not surprised. Jaimie was the weakest female left. I actually think she should have been cut last week instead of Anya. Jaimie says the experience was an absolute dream and says that the other dancers is what she's gonna remember most. She's clip packaged off, and it's time for the guys result. This is the closer race. Mary points out that both these guys made the final 5 of thousands and thousands of guys. The guy going home is Kameron. Someone in the audience cries like their spleen was just ripped out of their body. Kameron looks like he knows it was coming. He's so pleased to have had the opportunity to work with all these people. He thanks everyone for the opportunity. He doesn't specify a single person he'll miss most (that seems kind of like a slap to Lacey to me). He gets a clip package and everyone runs on stage to hug each other and I yawn because these eliminations were completely anticipated.

Big Brother 7/26. An Eviction As Thrilling As The Evictee

Previously on Big Brother 8, Kail realized that her boys bailed on her, her enemy won HOH, she backtracked and sold everyone else out, got nominated, had her plans blow up in her face, and made the sorriest showing I’ve ever remembered in a veto competition. Oh, and Mike finally did something of interest. It was shocking to say the least. Not Mike’s self sacrifice, the idea that someone could have been that personality-less to only pop up in the third week. Julie Chen, wearing something NOT from the veto competition but with hair as big as ever. But we’re quickly transported back into our two-tone house for the veto ceremony aftermath. Kail doesn’t like having to sit next to Mike on the block. Dick apologizes to Mike citing “It’s just game”. That’s not what you said after Veto Dick. Tsk Tsk. Immediately, Dick is going around telling people to vote out Mike. So much for “Kail, you’re going home this week”. Seriously Dick, you scream at Kail for not keeping you word, and then you break your own word? Tsk tsk. Immediately, Kail is seen campaigning against Mike after complaining that she doesn’t want to have to campaign against Mike. Kail, seriously. Dick was right. Jen tells Kail that Mike isn’t a good player (another astute observation that goes to my theory that Jen is actually smart), then goes to him and basically says Kail’s done. There’s more discussion of getting Mike out. It’s all starting to run together. America wants Eric to get Kail evicted, which is a problem for Eric, seeing as how the house is now planning to unanimously evict Mike. Eric is really sly with all this stuff. Good choice in America’s player CBS. During a strategy talk in the HOH room, Dick starts farting a lot, which clearly irks Jameka. Eric is still pushing Kail really well, but people don’t seem to be buying it. Well, maybe a little bit. But not a whole lot. It’s gonna be an uphill battle for Eric here. We get a tease about Danielle’s outside boyfriend (I feel bad for the guy) and our houseguest vote live, but first (Julie, I thought you’d never say it!) we get ramblings about the nominees from Dustin, Zach, and Jessica.

When we come back, we’re treated to Julie talking with the houseguests. First up is Zach for streaking, which the houseguests watch the video of and guffaw. Zach streaked because he needed to get his “high” back. Julie asks Jameka, who’s lying low, asks about those with big personalities, which she doesn’t really address. Julie asks Jen about the mustard incident, who says she’s dropped the investigation. Eric is asked about his wrestling match with Jen, who makes jokes about his size and Jen’s strength. Abut now it’s on to the Nick/Danielle drama. We watch them flirt some more, then we get to watch Dick insult the boyfriend in comparison to Nick. Then we get to meet the schlub. He mentions that their relationship has gone to pondering marriage and he calls her his soulmate. He says that Nick is the guy who makes all the good guys like him look bad. Apparently, she told him to trust her before going in the house. We get to see Danielle being whiny about the situation that she got herself into. The boyfriend just calls her confused and says he’s not worried about it, but it still hurts. And then Nick and Danielle make out under the sheets, as the boyfriend says, “I can’t wait for her to come home”. Kudos BB editors, you like your segments mean. It’s time for the HOH chat, and Julie asks about his relationship with Danielle. Dick says things are going well and he’s finally getting discussions and hugs. He doesn’t trust Nick and would boot him tonight if he could. Dick jokingly denies calling out people, but then embraces himself and says he’s just putting everything in the open. He then compares Kail’s mind to a cavern, and I can’t think of a better way to describe it. We’re teased with a segment about Jen where Julie Chen actually says that ‘The houseguests call her a vain, robotic bitch who’s favorite word is I” In my opinion, Julie Chen should never utter the word robotic. It only highlights her, ahem, situation (Cough Cough Chen-Bot Cough Cough). But I do think that this will probably be the best thing to come out of Julie Chen’s mouth all season. Unless she starts spouting a binary solo (Shout out to all the Flight Of The Conchords fans out there).

It’s time for our Jen story. Jen basically admits that she’s not like she is in real life. She got straight As in high school (I Knew It!). Apparently, Jen is used to looking over her photos down with rigor, so her bad photo meltdown wasn’t that unexpected. Apparently, Jen’s friend told her to play dumb. I feel so vindicated. But enough pointless backstories, it’s evictin’ time! Mike’s final speech talks about moving out of comfort zones and doing what you believe in, which for him involves sacrifice. Mike uses a lot of big words, but I’m pretty sure he’s just trying to impress us. Julie cuts him off mid-way through speech, but he continues anyways. Kail appreciates everyone’s friendship and wants to keep furthering those friendships. It’s around now that I notice that Nick is trying to look like a porn version of Don Juan. It’s so bad it’s funny. Zach’s the first vote and he votes to evict Kail. Jameka votes to evict Mike. Jen doesn’t look sure, but she votes to evict Mike. Dustin, wearing a far better fake mustache than Nick’s real one, votes to evict Mike, making it 3-1 as we go to commercial.

And we’re back, with Eric’s voting orders to vote Kail, but Julie asks who Eric would wanna be in a relationship with. Eric responds anyone. I’m sure America is gonna take you up on that. Amber evicts Mike. Nick evicts Mike. Danielle evicts Mike. Jessica evicts Mike. It’s time to reveal the result. It’s 7-2 and Mike is evicted from the Big Brother house. Kail doesn’t look at all shocked and stops to give flowers to everyone on the way out. He goes out like a gentleman, hugging all the ladies. Kail, now that he’s gone, is crying. Dick immediately starts accusing Jen of voting to evict Kail. Eric looks terrified of being accused. Julie immediately tells him that people are saying his move is the dumbest ever. His goodbye messages are mixed between nice and telling him he’s an idiot that lacks a personality. Wow, Mike is so lacking in personality that he only gets one question from Julie. That’s saying something. Even Carol got multiple questions.

We’re back for the HOH competition. This week’s competition is called “Eliminator”. It’s about Carol, Joe, Mike, or none of the above. If you get it right, you can eliminate someone. If you get it wrong, you’re eliminated. Eric gets the first one right and eliminates Jen. Dustin gets the second one right and eliminates Zach. Nick gets the next one and knocks out Kail. Jameka gets the next and knocks out Nick. Dustin eliminates Jessica next. Eric eliminates Amber. Eric eliminates Danielle as well. Eric knocks himself out next. Dustin gets the next one right and wins HOH. Which means another week of safety for Amber. Ugh. She looks like she’s crying right now though. I remember why I truly disliked her. She slipped out of my mind for doing nothing of any interest this week. But before we finish this week, we get our America’s choice question on who we want him to nominate. I’m not gonna suggest Amber, because I like Eric and that would be impossible. I’m really starting to get over Nick. I’m think that’s where my votes may lie. Julie asks Dustin how it feels and what Joe is thinking. Dustin thinks Joe’s probably pissed but he loves being HOH. Dustin feels more at home now that Joe is gone, and he proclaims life as back to normal. Dick’s advice is to lie low. Kail is touched to the heart that everyone kept her this week. She seems more touched in the head than the heart. Julie shlocks the week’s upcoming events, and we get to eavesdrop on the houseguests, where Dustin proclaims his ego boost is down. I wonder where his mustache went. That was one kickass mustache.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

So You Think You Can Dance 7/25. The Top 10 Try To Out-Solo One Another

Opening: Sara spins. Kameron doesn’t do much. Lacey spins her leg. Neil does what he’s always accused of doing. Sabra looks like she’s having fun. Pasha looks like he’s having even more fun. Lauren makes a hideous facial gesture. The other 3 don’t do enough to earn their own sentences. Cat comes out, does her judges stick (I still don’t know why they respond), congratulates Mia, and then goes straight to hocking the tour. Now that that business was out of the way for the first of many times tonight, we’re on to the show. The new twist now that we’ve made the top 10 is that everyone performs the same solo, a Wade Robson routine. This could be interesting if we’re judging everyone on the same routine. Wade Robson is spouting more gibberish about peace, war, and a list of good things. Ooh, and there’s spraypainting!

Lauren and Pasha: Lauren is very pleased to work with Pasha, who doesn’t look pleased to work with. They’re doing a Shane Sparks hip-hop routine. Shane’s worried about Pasha not getting into it enough. I can slightly see where Shane is coming from, but I still love the routine. Starting amazingly with their bodies intertwined and working together, and ending the same way, the routine is energetic, fun, well choreographed, and entertaining. Lauren is the better of the two, surprisingly enough. Nigel calls them human transformers (plug to the Fox movie!). He says that Pasha is the best Russian hip-hop dancer he’s ever seen, and says he’s glad they kept Lauren. Loved it and thought that their partnership was so together from the beginning. Mary loved Pasha, also plugs Transformers (I guess the movie disappointed last weekend). Mary scares us by seemingly threatening a scream, but doesn’t to the relief of everyone. Mia was terrified that Pasha was doing hip-hop but she liked it and deems Lauren as blowing up.

Jaimie: I like the routine, and she looked good doing it, but it felt a little forced. She also doesn’t emote/act that well. But it was definitely good. Just that though, not great. Just good. Nigel compliments Wade first, then moves on to everyone. Jaimie has a single emotion, and she needs to bring more dynamism to her emotions. Mary loved her expression and thought she was believable. Mia thinks she danced it well, but she did plateau.

Dominic: Wade Robson’s movement doesn’t look organic coming from Dominic. He overacts a large portion of it as well. A disappointing showing. Nigel thought he was tight in his movements, and he was technically lacked. Mia thought he showed a lot of emotions but was technically lacking. Mia thought he got the message right but that he didn’t make it his own.

Sabra and Kameron:
I think Sabra is one of the most talented dancers in this competition, and this week she’s partnered with Kameron. They’ve got a Tyce Diorio contemporary routine. I honestly think that Tyce’s choreography is some of the worst on the show, and this routine doesn’t make me think that any less. It’s very dance school to me for some reason. It was, however, reasonably well danced. Sabra pulled it off a lot better than Kameron, who seemed to be dancing choreography instead dancing a story. If that makes sense. I doubt it does. Nigel thinks it was well danced, but he didn’t believe Kameron’s emotional journey, which Sabra did. Mary thought they danced well, but it wasn’t magical. Mia thinks that Kameron exposed himself tonight as an immature dancer, she said there was no breakthrough and it was hard for Mia to watch. Mia loved Sabra though, calling it Sabra Full Of Grace and says that she can’t wait to get her hands on her one day.

Sara:
Her movements aren’t as graceful as Jaimie’s, but the choreography seems to flow out of her as opposed to being danced. She also emoted well. The best solo so far. Nigel says that Sara’s a small person, and she has to make her dancing bigger. Mary thought she was terrific. Mia felt her.

Pasha: Pasha is good. But not really good. It’s a little disappointing. The movement feels really forced at time, and he also overacted slightly. Nigel thinks it showed he was out of his league. Mia thinks he missed the emotions but was technically good. Mia found it overdramatic and awkward.

Lacey and Danny: The siblings of last season’s finalists are working together on a Samba from last season contestant Dmitry and apparently Heidi. I have to admit that I missed parts of this dance, because of a food delivery. But from the parts that I saw, it wasn’t spectacular. To me, Danny lacked the masculinity for the dance, which is surprising because he’s had that in the past. Lacey looked good and natural though, but she knows this genre of dance, so that wasn’t surprising to me. I missed a large portion of Nigel’s comment, but I cam back when Nigel says that what Danny lacked in technique he made up for in performance. Mary though Danny lacked enough technique for it. However, she thought Lacey was amazing and that the wind is blowing her towards the finale. Mia thinks it was the sexiest dance so far this season. Mia loves the way Danny carries himself and that Lacey was ridiculous. Mia sums it up as awesome.

Lauren: Lauren is the best so far. She’s the one who I feel most got the message of peace across. The movement just naturally flowed out of her, and she had the emotions just right. Nigel thought she highlighted the musicality and that she was the first person to come forward with hope. Mary thought she continued her blossoming tonight. Mia makes a heart and calls it great and fabulous and every other praise word.

Neil: Neil hits the trick parts best, like the complicated leaps, but the emotional message of the dance is missing. The guys are disappointing so far. Nigel tells him to watch his shoulders because it makes his arm movements look ugly and that he missed the emotion. Mary tells him to bring up the other side and the emotion. Mia says ditto.

Sabra: Sabra’s solo is disappointing to me. The movement works, and she nails the scream part, but her face is rigid the entire time. The message only partially gets across. Nigel thinks she danced so large for being a small girl, and she came forward with hope as well. Mary threatens a scream again but instead just bows down. Mia calls Sabra her favorite after tonight. Sabra looks so happy.

Kameron: Meh. His was neither good nor bad. I just didn’t buy the message he was giving out. The movement didn’t flow. Nigel finds he’s been let down by Kameron in the past but that his solo was realty good. Mary connected with his emotions in the solo. Mia totally agrees.

Jaimie and Dominic: This pairing doesn’t do much for me. Yes, Jaimie has amazing lines, but that’s the only thing I can say about her. A lot of Dominic’s good stuff was due to good partnering with Sabra. They’ve got a Toni Redpath Viennese Waltz with a Latin twist. The piece is wildly overacted by both, to the point of farce at times. Their dancing was also really technically shoddy, with poor footwork to boot. The only positive thing about this dance, for me, goes to whoever chose Jaimie’s dress, because when she twirled, that thing was magical to watch. Nigel starts by warning that they’re overlapping styles, which is difficult, which was bad for Dominic because he wildly overacted, and, as a result, Dominic was a massive failure for him. He had problems watching Jaimie because it was wildly overacted. She looks heartbroken. Mary also found it to be over the top, and the technique was poor, and they completely lacked chemistry. Mia points out that Dominic had one bad week. That being said, this is a BAD week. His technique was abysmal basically. She thought that Jaimie’s lines were, as always, great, but she needs to stop opening her mouth.

Lacey: Definitely one of the better solos of the night. She also nails the emotions, and the movement seems to be more natural than learned. Very good from Lacey. Nigel tells Lacey she has everything and that she was tremendous. Mary absolutely agrees and tells her she has it all. Mia totally agrees again, but thought she missed a little bit of emotion.

Danny: Danny is tops for the guys tonight. The movement looks amazing out of him, nailing all the steps and leaps. He doesn’t quite get the emotional message of it though, looking hard at times. Nigel thinks that Danny was the only one who was smooth with it and put himself into it, but he lost the music. Nigel promises they’re chipping away at his emotional shield, but says he still needs more emotion. Mary thought he was more different than anyone else, and she felt his emotion. Mia has been trying to break Danny down emotionally. Mia tells him that he has the potential to make history if he removes those boundaries and shields, calling him beyond several times in a row.

Sara and Neil: Sara and Neil are together this week, with a Doriana Sanchez Disco routine. Neil and Sara seem to be having a lot of fun in training. Neil continues to make bad jokes. Neil is clearly going for Benji this week. He’s playing up the dorky sexuality. That being said, the dance is a lot of fun and they’re having a blast on stage. This is the most comfortable I think I’ve ever seen Sara on the stage. Technically they leave a little to be desired, but the tricks that she throws in there for Neil absolutely distract from those. Nigel says that it’s great to see them have fun, and that they entertained everyone. Mary loved it as well, calling it corny, cheesy, and fun fun fun. She compliments Neil for his tricks and his lift strength. Mia loved it calling them the biggest dorks in the best possible way.

Rankings For The Night (Based on Both Factors):

1)Lauren
2)Lacey
3)Danny
4)Sara
5)Sabra
6)Pasha
7)Neil
8)Jaimie
9)Kameron
10)Dominic

Big Brother 7/24. Mike Does Something.

Previously on Big Brother, Kail was the only person to vote to keep the gay guy, Kail realized she made a huge mistake (How Gob-like of her), Kail tried to backtrack on her mistake, Kail failed at backtracking, and Nick’s bad lines made Danielle cry, which made Dick contemplate nominating Nick, but frankly, we all knew it wasn’t happening, and Jen and Kail were put on the chopping block. Will tonight’s BB be as boring as Sunday’s? Is that even possible? We’ll see, as we reunite with our favorite black and white houseguests, reeling from a completely expected nomination ceremony. Well, mostly expected. Dick’s threat at Kail was mildly unexpected, and results in a big ole hug between them. Dick reiterates why he nominated the two of them. As if we didn’t get it the seventeen times you told the camera and screamed at them. Kail’s gonna fight to stay in, and it looks like she’s been crying, which makes me wonder if she’s secretly Amber. Maybe that’s the twist coming up. That Amber is actually seven houseguests. Lets see, whom have we seen crying? But my thoughts are sidetracked, because Jen says “Obvious” and shrugs her shoulders. Jen’s got thick skin clearly, so we know Amber can’t be Jen. One down, America; 10 more to check. Zach thinks he avoided nomination because he’s playing Dick’s game. No Zach, you avoided it because you’re hated more than Kail and Dick wants Kail gone. But nice try. Kail tells Dustin to think about a gameplan for her, like she owns him. It prompts several questions from me, like: Why is Kail using the homosexuals? Does Kail realize that Dustin is not a part of the town that Kail owns? Does anyone else find it funny that the house homophobe is from a town called Rainbow?

But I can’t ponder these questions either, because we’ve just dissolved into the backyard, where Dick is stating the obvious. “One of you two is going home this week.” Yes, Dick. That’s how the game is played. Someone goes home every week. Jen tries to distance herself as much from Kail as possible, which seems like a smart move, especially if she’s secretly Amber. Jen points out that Kail can easily stay because everyone hates her. Jen, seriously, like, I know I keep repeating it, but you’re amazing. I promise to stop gushing for a while about Jen, because even I realize it gets repetitive. Anyway, back to the show, where Zach is about to streak. Zach very stupidly gets them to promise to leave him a towel. You know if you’re gonna point it out, they’re gonna take it. Which of course they do. But Zach hid another one outside. Clever, Zach. They’re all pleased because he’s a man of is word. I’m pleased because everything was well blurred. Jen thinks it’s better for Kail to be Dick’s target because of possible Dick backlash. There’s talk of veto players and Kail tries to talk Jen out of using any of the strong guys. Kail, in front of Jen, says to Mike I have to win. Kail, you truly prove yourself stupider every day. Next, its time for Dick and Kail to talk. Kail tries to argue her case by saying that she’s the most passionate (O…K), loyal (you sold out your alliance), forgiving and non-judgmental (Do I even need to comment on this one?) person and that’s her problem. Kail sucks up to Dick as much as possible, but Dick still keeps telling her she’s going home. I understand you don’t like her dick, but to keep reiterating it? It’s a little cruel.

It’s time for Eric to vandalize someone’s property America! Who did you choose? I zone out a little, because I’m staring at a tie that’s hanging out of his pants. I hope this dressing mystery is solved later. I’m truly perplexed. Apparently, though, America hates Jen as much as the rest of this house (America, you continually disappoint me with your voting choices), and Eric sprays mustard on Jenth Degree. Fear not, America, though. The Jenth Degree shirt is clean again, because Jen is wearing it in the Diary Room discussing the incident, which she finds juvenile, but it doesn’t really faze her. Jen immediately blames Dick and Danielle. Accusations are flying around the house, but absolutely no one accuses Eric, by making threats against the vandal and stating that an investigation should be held. I still think the more pressing question is what that tie was doing in Eric’s pants. It’s time to choose the players for veto. Zach, Jessica, and Nick are picked, and I secretly gloat that the two people whom Kail least wanted participating are both chosen. Karma, Kail. It’s a bitch. Eric is chosen to host, and Dick decides its time to rattle Kail so that she’ll fail miserably in the veto competition. Kail warns Jen to stay away from Dick, and within seconds, Jen and Dick are in the storage room together. Alone. I wonder if Jen is going to accuse Dick of trying to kiss her as well. Terrible mental image as that is, my attention is drawn back to the screen by Jen not getting fazed by Dick telling her that Kail tried to sell her out. Apparently, only really bad pictures get to this girl. And possibly Kryptonite. I’m not sure, it’s just a theory for now. Dick continues to accuse Kail of things, Kail continues to deny, and Jen continues to be unfazed. The camera focuses on Kail, alone in the kitchen, looking like an absolute pariah.

Its time for the veto competition, and Eric is wearing what I can only assume is Julie Chen’s outfit for Thursday night. The veto players are sent to put on other wacky Julie Chen outfits, and this week’s competition involves standing on a pedestal and balancing a cup on your head. I wonder how this could be interesting at all. Kail is immediately eliminated and tells the rest that they can drop out. The other houseguests come out in other wacky Julie Chen accessories (the most perplexing/scarring of which is Mike dressed in Julie’s French maid outfit) and antagonize the players. Jessica is out next because she can’t help but laugh at Danielle with a mustache. Nick drops out next. Zach’s eliminated next, leaving Dick and Jen as the last two. Dick tries to talk Jen down, but Jen doesn’t trust Dick’s promise that she’s not going home. Jen smartly refuses because she wants to be sure she’s not going home, which Dick seems to believe is playing the game stupidly. I’m perplexed as to what Dick believes is strategy. Amber comes out dressed as a clown, and I’m wondering if she knows who Pagliacci is (the crying clown, for anyone else who didn’t know). Dustin does something involving flashing Jen and touching his nipples to get Jen unfocused. Mike sucks on a large baby bottle to throw Dick. It’s clear that Mike doesn’t quite get what’s going on. Kail and Mike’s comedy strategizing in the house produces something that they’re sure will get him. Mike goes outside in a coconut bra and opens a can of nuts, from which a bright red snake pops out. I would say that hilarity ensues, but it’s more sad when they play the unfunny music than anything else. Mike next tries a hula dance. It’s still a miserable failure. Mike eating mass amounts of whipped cream is also unfunny. Dick threatens Mike who doesn’t really respond. He tries an Indian headdress. Still no luck. Mike more pisses Dick out of the competition, and Jen wins. Dick tells him he’s going on the block. I’m not sure whether to be pleased that Mike’s finally done something of any mention in this game or shocked that someone could be that dumb. Dick proclaims his move as dumber than Marcellas.

Kail realizes her game is now completely dead, and she doesn’t want to campaign against Mike. She lifts up her hand so that we can’t see her crying and I’m more convinced that this is actually Amber. She claims it’s in Gods hands, not Evil’s hands. That was the strategy Amber employed too. Coincidence, I think not! Nick, Zach, and Jen are in the HOH room watching the screen, but Nick kicks them out. Dick asks Zach not to go in his HOH room (I guess that’s playing Dick’s game, Zach?), and Zach tells him that Nick basically invited him. Dick is furious, which he tells Amber. He sends Amber to kick Nick out and get his key. Amber refuses (probably for fear of crying). Dick tells Nick that the last thing he wanted was Zach and Jen together in his HOH room. Dick thinks that Nick, Zach, and Jen are an alliance, which pisses him off. Dick and Nick get into a fight, which has to wait until Kail leaves the backyard. Nick immediately stops talking about Zach and Jen and brings up his feelings for Danielle, threatening to banish nice Nick and bring out evil Nick. Dick tells Nick that he trusts no one 100%, but after this one, Dick’s not done fighting, because it’s time for Danielle to bitch at her dad. She tells him that he’s pissing off everyone because he’s on a power trip and talking down to everyone and that she’s getting the worst of it, which is clear from what we’ve seen about Danielle tonight. That mustache was being REALLY mean to her. Danielle acts like a whiny toddler, and Dick responds that he’s had to deal with her shit with Nick and that she’s keeping information from him. Danielle says she doesn’t want to sit upstairs and fight with him (didn’t she ask for this and immediately start yelling at him?). Dick doesn’t want to deal with this anymore and asks how to deal with her. Danielle whines a little more and walks out of the room. Dick throws a pillow in anger. After this they’re both moody in the backyard, and Dick offers family counseling after all this.

Dick, apparently, is questioning putting Mike up. He consults with Eric, Jameka, and the back of Jessica (who we never actually see). He’s a little worried about Nick flirting with his daughter, the boys, and the girls. We’re treated to the Jen staring at the photo wall contemplating nominations, and I can’t help but think that Kail looks like a cheap unattractive hooker in her photo. Now that’s one to cry over. Jen wants to look like a non-threat, pointing out that she’s won multiple challenges and doesn’t want to appear smart on top of that. Kail says that she would never ask Jen to use the power on her. Jen asks herself the same question and gives a fairly decent reason. Jen uses it on herself and Dick, who’s pleased to have been included in that Jenversation, says he’s going to do something unexpected. But tricky Dick nominates Mike, proving he has a grasp on sarcasm. Kail says it’s horrible to be sitting next to Mike. I think it’d probably be more horrible sitting next to Kail. Thursday promises an eviction, Julie Chen’s wacky antics, and America’s choice on whom to evict. I can’t wait.

Sunday, July 22, 2007

Big Brother 7/22. Drama, Dick Style.

Previously on Big Brother, Danielle made her boyfriend look like a fool on national television, Jen did some crazy stuff, Kail acted like an idiot, and Big Brother cleaned up its case of gonorrhea and gave power to its Dick. As we enter our monotone house, Dustin is happy with Joe’s departure, Kail realizes her alliance betrayed her, and Jen thinks she accomplished her mission (to apparently get Dick gone. What Jen?). The house gets its color back and Danielle admits that she only kept Dad for games sake. Dick is pleased with the vindication that HOH will bring him. Danielle is pleased because she has jack to worry about. Jen is concerned, but is happy that Dick now has his own room. Kail is already trying to backtrack on what she did. Nuh uh, Kail. Not gonna work. Kail is pissed at her alliance for not telling her, to which Mike basically responds, “Whoops, sorry I forgot to tell you”. Kail confronts him with questions like “Is there still an alliance?” Mike seems to understand only 3 words of that sentence. Kail is pretty sure her alliance is over. I’m pretty sure Kail’s game is over. Dick’s HOH room has pictures of him and Danielle. Amber in the diary room likes pictures, and looks to be on the verge of tears. No surprise though. Dick decides to talk to Mrs. Robinson, her boys, and Jen in order to get them to separate and beg to him. Kail tries to deflect onto Zach, whom everyone hates. Dick tells us that Jen and Kail will be the nominees, but depending on who turns on whom, things may go differently. I somehow question the validity of this statement.

When we come back from break, Eric and Jen decide to wrestle. Eric starts to size up, while Jen just stares him down. Jen decides she has too much clothing on, takes off her sweater, and the match begins. And she promptly takes him down. Eric says he let her win, but I know that what he’s saying is “America, please don’t make me mess with Jen.” Don’t worry, Eric. I won’t. From here, we move outside and back in time about two weeks (I know this because this story was all over the feeds) and Nick’s top 5 list comes up. For guys that is. See, apparently, Nick would do stuff with his top 5 guys. Zach and Dick are skeeved out by this. Zach more and more reminds me of the idiot in the frat house that even the frat brothers are ashamed of. Some of the names mentioned include Matthew McConnaughey, Brad Pitt, Hugh Jackman, and Ryan Reynolds. The phrases “killer bod”, and “thinking of myself” come up. He then gives his top 5 girls list that only consists of Danielle. Nick gets cornier with each episode. Danielle is apparently having a really hard time deciding between Nick and her established boyfriend who she’s humiliating on national television. Repeatedly. Danielle just wants to go home, because she doesn’t want to hurt people. Dick and Danielle’s heart to heart strikes me as the most “real” conversation of the season, and I suddenly like Evil even more, because he is the comforting dad for real. Danielle doesn’t want to hurt her boyfriend who’s been there for her whenever she’s needed him, but Nick’s a hot guy who she’s known for three weeks. Dick tells her about the difference between the real world and the house. Dick ends with “do what’s right for you” and offers himself as someone to talk to. Dick is really glad that Danielle is seeking advice, but he doesn’t like that it was over problem that’s really tough. Dustin, keeping a cool head, notes that at least he’s here as someone who she can speak to.

The girls are stuck on slop still, and Jameka seems physically pained by eating it. Amber says something very similar in the diary room, and again looks on the verge of tears. Jen admits that she doesn’t feel bad that people are on slop because she doesn’t feel bad for people. She feels something but she’s not sure what it is. Jen, you’re hilarious, please stay for as long as possible. Dick makes a comment about starving children in Africa and Jameka goes on the offensive. Dick and Jameka have a good one on one, and she says that it’s not a racist thing, but that its so hard to be the only minority, and that strain just keeps popping out. Dick sympathizes. But enough of interesting racial commentary, its time for the food competition! This week’s food competition is “Mission InPastaBowl”. This is for the whole house, because clearly Big Brother feels bad that certain people haven’t had a real meal in the house. Dustin and Amber are first and they get halibut. Mike and Zach score desert. Kail and Jen gets Sweetbreads and Jessica has no idea what they are. Dick and Eric score eggs. Jess and Jameka score the BBQ grill for the week, and Nick and Dani go bananas. Dustin and Amber get lobster tail, and for once she doesn’t cry. Mike and Zach get chicken. Kail and Jen get cucumbers, much to Jameka’s dismay. Some other notables are Cereal, Beer (Yay Beer!). Eric starts a pasta fight, which is far and away the most entertaining part of watching the competition. Eric puts some sauce down Ambers pants. I’m sure she’s still crying about it. Arguably the funniest haul though, goes to Kail and Jen, who get Sweetbreads (Calf pancreas!), Melons (How apt for Jen!), and Cucumbers (Sorry Jameka!). America’s Choice is that Eric should get Jen nominated. I hate you America. Eric says this will be his easiest check mark. He goes and talks with Dick and everything goes according to plan.

When we come back, Kail is asking Dustin about whether Robin (Holy Homosexuality Batman!) and Barney are gay. Dustin has the best retort possible, which is that since he’s a giant fictional dinosaur, he probably doesn’t have sexual preferences. Kail seems to think that she could only figure out a gay man if he was wearing his full makeup. Kail, please stop talking. Thanks. Kail says her views on homosexuality are still that its sin, but that Dustin seems nice enough. I’m kind of disappointed that the words “too bad he’ll burn in hell” come out his mouth. Not that I agree with her, but it would have really gotten America to target her instead of Jen. Dick starts confronting people in the HOH, starting with Zach (Deny Deny Deny method), and then Nick (whom Dick threatens if anything happens to Danielle, because it’s ruining her life). But enough of that possibly interesting conversation, it’s time for another pointless America’s choice. This week, Eric gets to vandalize someone’s belongings! I’m gonna vote for Amber. That way she’ll actually cry on screen. It’s kind of weird only seeing her on the verge of tears. Although, seeing some better Jen shirts might be good too.

It’s nomination time, and the editors don’t even give us any footage of Dick contemplating nominees or people freaking out over whether they’ll be nominated. No surprises, Jameka, Jessica, Amber, Eric, Danielle, and Dustin are all safe. Nick is safe next, then Zach, and finally Mike, meaning the nominees are the obvious Kail and Jen. Surprise surprise. Wait, no, I mean the opposite of that. Jen is up because she put Dick up. Kail lied and deceived him, and Dick threatens to do everything he can to make her go home. Kail thinks her kids are cheering her on. That is, unless they’re gay. Don’t forget, Kail threatened to disown her kids if any of them chose to be gay. I would disown any of my children if they chose Kail as a mom. I guess that’s kind of the same thing. Jen doesn’t even feel like she’s nominated because she feels the same. She’s still there. I truly hope, for the show’s sake, she stays there.