I'm Calling You Out: Big Brother Editors

Listen here Big Brother editors; we’ve got some serious problems. Now, I realize that this season doesn’t really have a single likeable person. Anti-Semites don’t deserve good editing, nor do misogynists, whiny brats, sketchballs, nor other various forms of douchebag. But one of the least objectionable people in the house is Jen, who, while being vain and spoiled, is not a raging psychopath like some of the others. She is often funny. She is the strongest woman in the house by far, both emotionally and physically. So why do you insist on making her look like the biggest bitch to ever exist? Does she intimidate you? What did she do to you but provide good moments for television, such as when she burst into tears over her photo on the memory wall?

But the misportrayal of Jen is just the least of your problems. I have a much bigger issue with your portrayal of “Evil Dick”. Now, Dick has certainly lived up to his moniker. He has verbally assaulted 6 of the 8 houseguests left, not counting himself. He has threatened to crush Jen’s windpipe in the past. He has said he wants to choke her with member. He’s used a word that I refuse to use to refer to several female houseguests (Let’s just say See You Next Tuesday) He’s cause so many uncomfortable moments in the house that even his own offspring who is stuck in there with him thinks his antics can be out of control. And yet, Big Brother editors, you paint this guy to look cool. You’ve even created a rock riff that signals when he’s about to verbally assault someone, so that we know that his rock star awesomeness is about to come out and call someone a f**king something or other. Because being verbally abusive to those who share the same living quarters is soooo rad.

But it’s not only Dick who you edit to make cool, even though he’s aggressively douchey. You also edit Danielle. Poor, poor Danielle, right Big Brother editors? She’s such an innocent victim, stuck in the house with her unstable dad, with everyone taking all of their stuff against Dick out on her. And everyone is now starting to turn against her and her dad, and poor Danielle is such a victim, because she’s just going to get caught in all the anti-Dick crosshairs. Well, I’m sorry, but that’s bullshit and you know that Big Brother editors. Because she’s been there right alongside her dad for a while now, and she’s been just as venomous to certain houseguests. She’s the one who let her Dad run her HOH, so she’s just as complicit in a lot of his recent douchebaggery. So quit making her look like such a poor, innocent waif. She’s just a whiny little brat.

Oh, yeah, and you guys kind of suck at your job at times. It’s clear that will show a part of a conversation, and then show another part of the same conversation later. Way to be asleep on the job guys.

This is not to say that all of your editing is crap. You’re constant showcases of Amber the Anti-Semite’s crying jags can be quite funny. The bit this past Tuesday with Jameka praying while Jen complains about her bunny suit was pretty damn funny. But editors, I’m calling you out because you’re ridiculously biased in your editing, and you make the least decent people in the house look like the good guys, and that’s just not fair to the remaining semi-decent human beings left in the house. And if this behavior continues, you can expect another calling out. Because Dick is a Dick and America should see as much.

Big Brother 8/9. An Eviction, Drama, And Aggravating Editing...

Previously on Big Brother, Danielle huffed and she puffed and she made drama in the house, Dick proved he can have a partially civil conversation, The Donatos (Dick and Danielle) proved they have very little understanding of strategy in attempting to sway someone’s best friend against them, God told Jameka to sit out the next 5 HOHS, and then Jen used the veto on her bunnytastic self and Eric went up on the block. Tonight’s Thursday which means its time for the Chen-Bot and her giant hair, which I’m guessing hides the off switch. Julie boringly recaps us on everything that we just heard. Julie warns us that an explosion like we’ve never seen is coming. Will Julie self-destruct? Nope, turns out that our explosion comes from, well, I don’t know. Because there’s no explosion. It’s Eric saying no one likes to be nominated and Kail saying that she doesn’t like being nominated against Eric. Ominous music pops up, but still no explosion as Amber swears on her daughters life (flash to photo of the daughter, but no dog. I thought they were equal Amber) that she’ll vote to keep Eric. Dick is talking alliance with Jen and Kail. Did I actually just type that? Maybe that’s why Julie explodes. But still no explosion. Instead, it’s Dick telling Amber that Eric has information that he plans to use against her that will, but doesn’t say what it is. It’s going to turn the God Squad against her though. Oooh, I know. But so will you America! Because it’s time for Amber to air her dirty fake abortion laundry to America, about lying to her boyfriend about being pregnant and getting abortions. Sucks to be the boyfriend watching this. But then again, sucks to be Amber’s boyfriend regularly. Dustin is trying to calm Amber down, and somehow she hasn’t cried about all of this yet. Apparently, Dick and Danielle see Amber as the weak link now, and they’re working her hard about Eric’s untrustworthiness. They’re pulling out all the stops, including the Nick card and the God card. I wonder if they’ll play on her anti-Semitic tendencies as well. Amber is still working on Dustin, who is now wearing a king’s cape. As if people didn’t have enough complaints about Dustin’s ego, he wears a king’s cape. Dustin is trying to introduce logic to Amber, but I’m thinking like that would be introducing love to the Chen-bot’s circuitry. Robots can’t love, unless they’re played by Robin Williams or Haley Joel Osment. Ooh, explosion! Amber is tearing into Eric, and for once I feel like she’s in the right. Danielle looks eerily close to a smile and I suddenly want to punch her bony ass in the face. Amber is playing the guilt card and I back her until she says that she’s never lied in the house, which is a lie. Eric smartly doesn’t saying anything. Amber says that Nick should be here in instead of Eric in the good person’s alliance. Amber, a simple question. Who in this house counts as a good person? I mean, I love Jen, but even she isn’t a good person. And you certainly aren’t, you anti-Semitic abortion-faking lying drug addict (supposedly former, according to online sources current). Did that come across as hateful? It should.

It’s time to check in with our bunnies and the other hamsters. Julie asks Jameka what it was like to be in the room. I hope for the now commonplace jazz hands and awkward response, but Jameka just says it was tense. Jameka says she also regrets sitting out of the next 5 HOHs. Jen still stands by giving up 250 grand. Dustin gets an audience question, asking about why he wears the same goddamn shirt every day. They all laugh a lot and Dustin says the word consistency a lot. “Rebellious Rocker” Dick now gets his own little clip package with LA rock people patting Dick on the back for being an utter douchebag. They claim he’s loyal and a sweetheart. Come on BB, if you’re going to edit this guy to be a cool guy, at least make it subtle. This just makes me hate you guys a little bit more. Without questions regarding Nick to ask, Julie brings up the forgotten subplot of family reconciliation. Danielle says that things are getting better but it’s gonna take a long time. But enough questions about Danielle, time for more Dick! She doesn’t like that he says things and people take things out on her. Lastly, Danielle admits that she’s not sure that Eric cast the votes but she still wants him out.

It’s Kail’s turn for a video package, which starts with Danielle slamming her as a liar, and then we get to see Kail’s family. Kail’s husband is proud of her and understands the relationship between Kail and Dick. Oh, and apparently Kail is DOWNPLAYING her religious stuff. She’s downplaying it? I wouldn’t want to be near her when she’s not. The video package is fairly uninteresting. Kail pleads her case first and says she doesn’t take the game for granted. Eric gets tearful and thanks the house for being so cool. Was the America’s choice option the whole house? Because it certainly seems that way. Dick is up first and votes to evict Eric, but he can’t do it without hurling some more insults. Jen evicts Eric. Jessica evicts Kail. Making it one to two. Zach evicts Eric. Jameka evicts Kail. Dustin evicts Kail, making it a 3-way tie with Amber as the deciding vote. Amber evicts Kail, thus evicting Kail. Amber’s daughter, you can breathe easy. Julie, after a technical glitch pauses then tells Kail that she’s gone, meaning that one of the more tolerable (recently) people is leaving and making the house even less tolerable to watch. Jen seems pissed, but Kail seems happy to be out of there. I would be too. Dick immediately tries to get Dustin to admit that he lied to him (which he did) and deflects the blame. Dick believes him, and thus we will get another week of him yelling at Jen. Kail thinks that winning the first HOH screwed her and that Dick truly is a douche. Dick says that she should be here, but if not good riddance. Dustin discusses her views on homosexuality, Jen hopes to go shopping with her, Jameka blames the Mrs. Robinson alliance, and Danielle basically says good riddance as well. Nice family the Donatos are. Can we put Amber, Dick, and Danielle in a fight to the death, with the winner being evicted and the losers, well, what they’re participating in should give you a clue?

It’s time for the HOH competition which involves what evicted houseguests have said in the Diary room. It involves head to head matchups. Dustin and Eric are the first two chosen by Danielle. Eric gets the first one right and makes Dick and Zach face off. Zach answers wrong and Dick picks Eric and Jess face one another. Jessica figures out that Kail is a multi business owner, eliminating Eric and pitting Jen and Dick. Dick eliminates himself and makes Jess and Amber face-off. Amber eliminates herself, making Jess and Jen the final two competitors. Jess, before the question is finished correctly pegs it as belonging to enemy Carol and secures the HOH win for her and her team. Jess, Eric, Jameka, and Dustin celebrate raucously and Dick looks dejected and I gloat and gloat. Immediately, we’re putting Eric back to work, and we get to tell Eric who to get nominated. Lets not screw over Eric America, so vote Dick. Julie segues back into the house where apparently Dick is blaming Jameka for something, and she is keeping her cool. Dustin was apparently yelled at too, because Dick is attacking others as well. But he’s back for Jameka, and before anything gets interesting and they can’t edit Dick to look good, they cut away and we have to wait until the positive editing job on Sunday makes Dick look good and Jameka look bad. Tune in!

So You Think You Can Dance 8/8. Our Top 6 Dance Their Little Hearts Out

Before starting this recap, I'd just like to point out that this is my 50th post (I think). I'd like to thank anyone who's come here and read my rantings and ravings and I hope that you've enjoyed what you've read, whether its recaps of SYTYCD, Big Brother, On The Lot, the now cancelled Pirate Master (Arrrgh), or my reviews of the new crop of shows for next season. If you haven't, do you keep coming back because of my debonair wit or my movie star good looks? Or is it because you find it funny that I'm insane enough to think I have either. Well, that's enough lunacy, onto the recap!

Opening: Cat’s dress confuses me at first. It’s way too distracting, between the swirls and the shiny bits. This could be a problem. But no, I’m able to focus as Sabra does a few moves that aren’t anything special. Danny displays some cool flips and footwork. Lacey is dressed like a cowboy hooker. Pasha has fun on stage. Lauren twirls. Oh, and surprise surprise, Neil twirls as well. That wasn’t expected. Does sarcasm come across on the Internet? Cat reiterates that we’re ever so close to the finally, and therefore the tour. Apparently, this is a taxing night for the dancers, as they’re performing two routines and a solo. Tonight, instead of judges like normal or Jeejees like last week, we have jidgis, which sounds like it should be some rare disease. Debbie Allen is back, as well as all of her superlatives. Mary Murphy has sparkly things on her as well. Nigel, alas, doesn’t.

Pasha and Lacey: Pasha and Lacey’s hip-hop is the first routine of the night. Pasha calls Lacey challenging and I think he’s confusing challenging with annoying. Apparently, Lacey is supposed to be a mannequin. The routine is fun, with Pasha handling a majority of the work until Lacey “comes alive”. I put that in quotes, because, although she’s performing the moves, she still seems wooden. Not quite a real boy, if you ask me. Pasha, on the other hand, does about as good as I could expect him to do. He pulls of his dorky hip-hop character well. It’s not the best hip-hop routine of the season, but it’s certainly not the worst. Cat calls it a great start. Nigel compliments the routine and how it was shaped well for them. Wasn’t he complaining about this exact thing last week? Mary calls it crazy good and compliments their technique. She then compliments Lacey and makes a comment about blowing wind. O…k Mary. Debbie also sucks up to the choreographer and says repeatedly that they had great energy. She uses the word great a lot. Great commentary Debbie.

Sabra: Sabra’s solo is, well, it’s good. But that’s just it. It’s only good for me. I don’t know if I’m just expecting more out of her or what, but she doesn’t take full advantage of the stage. It all seems a little timid, so I was kind of left waiting for both her and the song to break out and rock the stage. Also, is Cat an Amazon or is Sabra tiny as can be. There seems to be over a foot difference there.

Danny and Lauren: They’ve got a contemporary Mia Michaels routine this week, which gets applause just from the mention of Mia’s name. Mia wants their movement more inhuman, and I’m not quite sure if they achieved it. What they did achieve, however, was another awesome Mia Michaels routine. I love the routine, the movements were flawless for the most part, and Danny and Lauren danced them well. My only quibbles would be that it was to a Celine Dion song, and that parts of it did seem choreographed for them, which is something I thought Nigel wanted them to avoid. Nigel calls it incredible, repeats it, and compliments Manny the cameraman as well. He then calls them both sensational and tells Lauren she finally reached her potential. Mary Murphy screams and Nigel joins. She calls it a special treat and tells them both they’ll go a long ways. She also puts them on the Hot Tamale bullet train. Can I possibly shoot Mary with a hot tamale bullet? Debbie calls it passion personified. She calls them every choreographers dream and says that they should get an Oscar.

Pasha: This time Pasha is dancing with an actual mannequin, and I get that ballroom solos are hard to do, but Pasha, really, is this the best you can do? I mean, it’s good, but it’s definitely not top 6 material. That being said, it’s better than last weeks cape dance. Also of note, Pasha seems to have taken mugging lessons from Dominic. Good to know Dom had an effect on the others.

Ooh, Cat’s plugging the tour. The first of many times I presume.

Neil and Sabra: First up, they have a Mandy Moore 80’s Jazz power lunch dance. Can American Psycho please get referenced? No, instead Neil references The Karate Kid. That didn’t even have power lunches! The routine is fun, and does display some amazing moves from both Neil and Sabra. This may actually be one of the first times I think Neil deserves to be in the top 6. Then again though, I still think he’s worse than Pasha and Danny. Oh, and Sabra knocks it out and reminds me why she’s my favorite. Cat makes an awkward joke about office romances. Nigel says he’s very very worried because he’s terrified that the finale won’t come up to this level of choreography. Nigel comments on how far Neil has come as well and how much Sabra dances from the heart as opposed to the head. Cat makes another awkward business joke. Mary calls it so much fun and calls them equally terrific. Debbie says that she likes it like that. I wonder if the show has to pay royalties. Debbie makes some more awkward comments, and she reveals that this was filmed before Sabra’s solo was danced.

Lauren: Well, this is the best solo so far. Lauren displays amazing body control and puts a lot of seemingly real emotion into her dance. It’s probably because she knows this will be her last week. At least she can be proud of her final efforts.

Pasha and Lacey 2, Electric Boogaloo: This time it’s Lacey and Pasha’s smooth waltz, which choreographer Hunter Johnson calls the Rolls Royce of dances. Pasha seems a little pissed that they made it really hard for them because they’re ballroom dancers. I would be too, but then I’d remember that this is a dancing competition and I’m in the final 6 so it should probably be hard. But maybe that’s just me. Anyhoo, this dance is absolutely beautiful. It hooked me from Lacey’s absolutely stellar opening line, and kept my attention as they beautifully flowed across the stage. Watching it I actually thought that I could imagine this in some great romantic ballroom during a Jane Austen novel. So the downside of this dance is that it may increase estrogen levels. I should probably get that checked. Nigel thinks that it was absolutely beautiful and that the choreographer. He criticizes Lacey’s hand though. Bad hand! Mary calls it absolutely dreamlike, sweet, and touching. Pasha still freaks Mary out with his complex ballroom move whose name is too long for me to type correctly here, especially with passion. Debbie says that everyone watching wanted to be one of them, and compliments Pasha on his power and passion. She calls it beautiful and very nice.

Neil: Oh come on Neil. Just when I say I can see why you deserve to be here, what do you do? You do the same exact thing you always do. There’s a good bit of twirling, a good bit of trick moves, and only one or two things in there that are new or show any sign of versatility out of twirling and trick moves. I mean, it’s still nice to watch, but I’m starting to get really tired of it.

Lauren and Danny 2, Electric Boogaloo: This is their second routine of the night, a Doriana Sanchez disco routine. They both say how hard it is. I’d tell them to look at how I responded to Pasha complaining. The routine is fun to watch, but I can’t help feeling like another hour or two of rehearsing this could have made it ten times better. There were quite a few moments where one or the other seemed to be caught off guard and not ready for the next movement. But besides that, both danced admirably. This is still probably one of the better disco routines the show has had. Nigel is wondering what happened to all the easy bits this week, because everything seems to be so difficult. I again say “See Pasha Comments”. Nigel compliments both though and points out all of Lacey’s bruises. Mary thinks Lauren looked like a disco goddess and that Danny finally looked like he was having fun. Mary also points out how tough everything is. Debbie says that it was so much fun because they were having so much fun. Debbie calls this “why America’s watching.” I actually watch for the Mia Michaels and Wade Robson routines. Oh, and the other good dances too.

Lacey: Lacey is definitely trying to play up the sex kitten part of her personality, doing a routine that seems partially stolen from that strip club near your local airport. I mean, I half expected someone to come on stage and pour water on her over her final moves. That being said, it’s entertaining to watch.

Sabra and Neil 2, Electric Boogaloo: Their second routine is a Tony Meredith Paso Doble routine. Apparently, Neil was playing up his fake matador masculinity. Between all of his twirling and the machismo, I think Neil is really confused. He actually accidentally slaps Tony at one point. Oops. Well, Sabra is yet again amazing. She pulls it all off with aplomb. Neil, on the other hand, well, I’m confused now. See, at times he’s really good. But then he loses the masculinity and becomes not good. But then he gets it back and he’s good again. This happens quite a few times. One thing I will say though is that Neil absolutely focuses on his partner as opposed to the camera, one of their main critiques of him last week. Oh, and apparently Neil got lessons from Dominic as well because at the end of the routine he drops Sabra kind of. Nigel calls it absolutely stunning. Nigel admits that he had no faith in either in the beginning of the competition. Cat apparently stole my line because she brings up Dominic dropping Sabra. Stop stealing my material Cat! I don’t steal your mispronunciations. Mary loves them both, and puts them both back on the Hot Tamale train, a ride that Neil points out he’s yet to have taken. Mary makes train noises and I wonder where that hot tamale bullet I was creating is. Debbie didn’t want to see this dance again, but they proved her wrong and she thanks them a bunch.

Danny: My god Danny is a beautiful dancer. He moves his body so well, and with such pinpoint control that I can’t do anything but pick my jaw up off the floor and say that he is clearly the best dancer in the competition.

Rankings for the Routines:
1) Lacey and Pasha’s Smooth Waltz
2) Danny and Lauren’s contemporary
3) Neil and Sabra’s Jazz
4) Lacey and Neil’s Hip-Hop
5) Neil and Sabra’s Paso Doble
6) Danny and Lauren’s Disco

Rankings for the Solos:
1) Danny
2) Lauren
3) Sabra
4) Neil
5) Lacey
6) Pasha

I’m not gonna try to say who had the best night, but based on prior performance, this really should be the end of the road for Neil and Lauren. But that’s just me; it’s up to America. America, do me proud and don’t botch this one.

Big Brother 8/7. Boy, Does Kail Get Screwed Tonight!

Previously on BB8, BB’s hopes of a long showmance ended, Danielle played Encyclopedia Brown about mystery votes, Amber and Eric got screwed by a banner, Kail made an agreement to give up HOH in order to get nominated, Dick and Danielle asked Eric’s best friend in the house to turn against him, and Jen and Kail were nominated. Déjà vu anyone? We enter the house where apparently everyone in house has had too many blueberries, because everyone’s turned an odd shade of blue. Kail has been told that she’s 100% safe, which doesn’t exist in the BB house. Jen is glad to be nominated again, and Dick, seeing Jen in a happy mood, immediately starts going into her, telling her she’s going home. Jen plays along and does her best at antagonizing Dick in return. Good on you Jen. The vibe in the house is awkward, and Eric is already scheming on how to stay in the house. Eric, Jess, Dustin, and Cryber are all strategizing outside where the plan is revealed that they’re blaming the votes on Eric and planning to backdoor him. Amber is shocked that Jen still isn’t going home. They general consensus is that Jess has to pretend like she’s with them. Dustin says that the game has officially begun. Eric then tells Jameka of the plan, who is also shocked. Eric seems confident that they won’t have the votes to pull it off, but all I can think is that Eric hasn’t seen Amber raging against Jews and New Yorkers on the feeds. I wouldn’t count on her vote Eric. Jameka and Amber both agree that they don’t have the votes to evict Eric. Now its time for Zach and Danielle to talk in HOH, where Nick says he has no friends. Danielle is so mad that they made her vote Nick out, which she gets across by huffing about Nick’s eviction. Zach basically tells Danielle he’s putty in her hands. He’s just grasping at straws now it seems. Danielle’s willing to use him though. It’s time for yet another conversation about how Danielle and Dick are going down. This time it’s Eric, Jess, and Dustin in the bathroom. Eric ends by saying they’re digging their own grave and they can continue their twisted family reunion six feet under. Any recent doubts that I had about Eric’s inner douchebag coming out recently are both confirmed and assuaged, because it’s not at Jen anymore.

It’s veto player pickin’ time. Eric really wants to play this week. Danielle picks first and gets Zach’s ball. Jen picks Dustin. Kail gets houseguest’s choice and pick’s Jameka. Amber is picked to host, and I’m pondering whether she’ll cry because her hosting duties are soooo hard. It’s time for the competition already and it involves covered things which worry Kail. Jen is worried that there may be haircutting, but she’s not too worried. The covered things are all ominous and the people who bid highest have to do the ominous tasks. The lowest bidder is eliminated. The first one involves wearing a bunny suit. Jen, Kail, Zach, and Danielle all have to wear bunny suits. Dustin is eliminated. Next, everyone has to dump manure on their heads for the next 24 hours every hour. Next, everyone turns down 10 grand. The next think involves how long you’re willing to eat slop. Danielle is freaking out because she doesn’t like slop. Kail and Jen have to eat slop for the next month and Zach is eliminated. Next involves not participating in HOHs, and Kail and Jameka can’t participate in the next 5 HOHs. Danielle is eliminated. The last question involves how much money you’re willing to give up if you win the game. Kail, Jen, and Jameka are the last 3 remaining. Jameka will give up 10 grand. Kail will give up 248, 999 dollars. Jen will give up 250 grand, which she hopes will prove to her fellow houseguests that she’s not in it for the money. Dick proclaims how happy he is about the veto result. I wonder how long it will be before he tears into her again. Can I just say how awesome Jen is? She just got an eviction reprieve for the third week IN A ROW. That’s an accomplishment. Even if I didn’t like her I would have to give her props for that.

Everyone is putting on their bunny outfits and Kail runs down the list of what she did She’s wearing a bunny suit, eating slop for a month, not competing in the next 5 HOHs, getting manure poured on her, and she doesn’t even have the veto. Jameka only now realizes that she’s not participating in the next 5 HOHs, which is hard because it means she doesn’t get the perks like pictures. She’s really breaking down and begins praying to hymnal music in the background. This interlude goes on for way too long, with the occasional interlude of Jen bitching about her bunny costume, clearly included by someone who was trying to make Jen look bad. Danielle comes over to fake console her and Jameka sees right though it and calls her her father’s daughter in confessional. Jen and Danielle are having a bunny strategy talk, and Danielle tells Jen that she can keep Kail in the house if she promises to vote as Danielle wishes. Jen asks, “Is it Eric?” proving how tuned into the house she is. Danielle tells her not to tell Eric, because she still thinks Eric doesn’t know. Dick tries to make peace with Jen which involves him cutting her off when she tries to speak. Dick keeps on talking of co-existing, but when he and Danielle are talking to her, he speaks so angrily that if I were Jen, I’d still watch my back. They rail on Eric to Jen who just sits back and listens. In the Diary Room, Jen admits that while it’d probably be advantageous to do it, but she’s not sure if she morally can. And I love Jen more. It’s time for manure pouring, which Danielle surprisingly says is Icky. Now it’s time for Dick to think he’s so smart to Jess (He isn’t), and Jess then goes to try and woo Danielle. Jen talks about how everyone has been promised by Eric that they’re with them. Jess is tiffed by this. This seems like a perfect segue to his America’s Choice task. But the BB editors can’t edit well, so they segue to the beginning of the conversation that we saw the end of earlier, with Eric promising the family reunion to continue six feet under. Nice editing job BB. Jameka thinks that Dick and Danielle are just trying to spin Jess. Jess is now perplexed as to whom to trust.

Now it’s time for America’s player. Eric is not pleased by this weeks challenge, but he’s relieved that America wants him to promise Jessica. I recognize this conversation from the feeds, because this is also when the whole Amber’s abortions debacle within the house started. If you wanna find out more, you can look online. He convinces Jess, and it’s time for our manured houseguests to douse themselves once again. It’s been a while since Dick yelled at anyone, so it’s time for him to start yelling at Jen. Wait, that’s not Jen! It’s Eric! Dick has another target? Dick refuses to let Eric get a word in edgewise, reiterating that he has an alliance with Jen and Kail. Which is wrong. Dick yells at Eric that he knows the truth (he doesn’t) and how dare he play the game better than Dick (this is not what he says, it’s just the gist of it. Eric tries to talk to Danielle and Dick insists that Danielle can defend herself. This is while he’s not letting her defend himself. Dustin tries to tell Danielle that her dad is ruining her game and should be put up. Danielle huffs about how it’s him not her. Dustin counters that it’s her HOH reign so why should Dick be running it. Danielle doesn’t see how this affects her. I wonder if something that stupid was just uttered?

It’s veto meeting time. Jen is pleased to have the power, telling those who want her gone that they have to get over it. Kail doesn’t even try to argue for the veto to be used on her. Jen does her self monologue again and uses the veto on herself. In a surprise to no one, Eric is put up on the block. She backhandedly accuses Eric of being the mystery votes. Eric claims that it’s gonna blow up in their face. Kail no longer things she’s safe. I think this may be the first time she’s picked up on something happening. Dick thinks this so rad calling his former alliance stupid and retarded, an alliance that he formed and named. The America’s choice question involves Eric flattering someone incessantly to get the vote. I’m voting Jen. It’ll be nice to see someone be friendly to her for once.

Pilot Review: Pushing Daisies

Pushing Daisies
ABC. Wednesdays at 8.
Cast: Lee Pace, Anna Friel, Chi McBride, Kristin Chenoweth, Swoosie Kurtz, Ellen Greene, and Jim Dale.

What can I say about Pushing Daisies? Well, one thing that I know I can say is that it’s the best pilot I’ve seen so far. I’m fairly confident that, even only having seen 4 pilots for next season, I can say that this will be the best show on primetime television next year, considering that spot was just vacated by the now unfortunately cancelled Veronica Mars. One last thing I can say about this pilot is that this is the best show I’ve seen since I saw the pilot for Veronica Mars. It may even be better. You may not realize, but that means A LOT from me.

The show is at its core about a man who can bring people back from the dead. He runs a pie shop called “The Pie Hole” and he doesn’t exactly have strong social skills. See, he discovered his power when he was a child but he also learned its caveats then, when, after bringing his mother back after an aneurysm, he killed his neighbor’s, who he had a crush on dad. Apparently, he can only bring them back from the dead for a minute, or someone else in the near vicinity drops dead in their place. But, when his mom kissed him that night, she dropped dead too. Because one touch means life, a second touch means death again. Seeing as how he killed his neighbor and his mom, he was sent away and now runs a pie shop. Until an enterprising PI found out about his power and started working with him to collect rewards. His latest one is for a girl who mysteriously died on a cruise ship. It turn out that the victim is his old neighbor, Chuck (a girl, not a guy), who he keeps alive for more than a minute. He and Chuck still have feelings, but they can’t touch.

While my summary of events and the show’s premise may not have been good, the show certainly is. This is the most visually lush thing I have ever seen on a major channel. Watching this is like entering a painted world, where colors hint at everything from mood to personality. And the fantastic (as in fantasy related, all though it is fantastic to look at) backdrop is perfect because the show plays and feels like a fairy tale. Every note just hits right. Lee Pace feels perfect as Ned, and his chemistry with Anna Friel’s Chuck is endearing and feels completely true. Chuck’s two aunts (Kurtz and Greene) with matching personality disorders feel so right at home in this universe that you can’t help but find them hilarious. Chenoweth as The Pie Hole’s only employee hits every note right with her performance. Jim Dale’s narration makes it seem even more like a fairy tale. McBride is the weakest link, but he still makes you enjoy his morally ambiguous character. The dialogue is snappy, as would be expected from Bryan Fuller, who created two of my other favorite shows of the last five years (Wonderfalls and Dead Like Me). Barry Sonnenfeld’s pilot direction is superb, as is the show’s cinematography, which makes every color and set pop on screen. Honestly, there is absolutely nothing I dislike
about this pilot, which is why it gets:

Rating: You Must Watch This Show

On The Lot 8/7. Could Garry Marshall Be Sane and/or Lucid?

Adrianna is still here tonight, which is the most fascinating part of the show considering she’s so bad, and she immediately jumps into last week’s results. No one feels totally safe this week, which is apt because everyone kinda sucked last week. Adrianna shows up wearing something that looks like it was ripped from an 80 year old Floridian’s window. The bottom two vote getters were Sam and Zach. Our eliminated filmmaker is surprisingly Zach, which is interesting because a few weeks ago I would have said that betting on Zach for the win would be easy money. I guess this opens the door for a Will Bigham win. Zach gives a tearful goodbye and walks off into the poorly lit backlot. Will apparently is thinking the exact same thing I was, and saying that he has to step up his game now. Adrianna introduces our remaining directors, but I’m too distracted by the now clear fact that Adrianna is not wearing a bra. I know this, because two of her friends are poking out. We’re introduced to our regular judges, Carrie and Garry, aka Dumb and Dumber (You can pick which one is which) and special judge F. Gary Gray, who rocketed Chris Tucker to comedy superstar. Question: When did Chris Tucker become a comedy superstar? And if he did, didn’t it come with “Rush Hour”, not “Friday”? Tonight is the America’s logline challenge, where everyone has to make a movie about a guy in a dress waking up and not realizing why he’s in a dress. Sounds like hilarity will ensue.

Will is up first, and he’s doing a business comedy take on the logline. He wants his film to feel like a Coen Bros. film, and he’s now apparently including dialogue, which worries me because he does do a lot better with silent films. His film is cute, but not particularly entertaining. It’s true that it has a lot of dialogue, but a lot of his film is predictable. There are a few good jokes still in there though, especially when the secretary realizes she’s wearing the same outfit as the boss. Carrie thinks there’s a lot of dialogue. Great observation Carrie! She liked it, especially because there was a non-feminized man in a dress, her favorite type. F. (or is it Gary) thinks the film was strong, but there may have been too much music. Garry tells us that he’s himself. Good to know Garry. I’d hate to think of imposters running around pretending to be Garry Marshall. Will makes a joke about wearing a dress. It’s as obvious as his movie’s punchline.

It’s that time of the episode where Adrianna sucks up to the guest director, asking for any advice for the directors. He tells them to be passionate about their work. Sam is up next, and his film also has an office setting. I personally think this is one of Sam’s best movies from a film standpoint. He’s clearly trying to riff on “Saw” and I like his twist on the “Saw” concept, even if it is reminiscent of a movie like “9 to 5”. It’s also really well shot and lit. My only quibble would be that the very end doesn’t really make sense to me. Did cross-dressing turn him gay? Is that what Sam’s trying to say? Because if that’s the case, I’ve got a bunch more problems with the film. Carrie also thinks it’s derivate of “9 to 5” and “Saw” and that he didn’t make it original enough to be an homage. F. thinks it’s tonally two different movies and he didn’t reconcile them well enough. Garry says, “What do I know?” I wonder the same thing Garry. I don’t give credit though. Garry, surprisingly enough makes the most interesting comments on Sam’s film. I’m just too lazy to make Garry seem sane.

We get to meet the creator of tonight’s idiotic logline, and we get to see why everyone really wants to win. I’m guessing because they wanna make movies. That may be going out on a limb, but I’m confident in my guess. Adrianna asks the remaining directors some questions, because apparently there is time to kill. Will tries to keep his mind of the prize and on making movies. Sam dreamed he would make the final four. Jason picks Adam as his biggest competitor, before backtracking and saying everyone. Adam deserves the prize because he works hard. Were these questions supposed to make me dislike the directors even more? Because that was the effect. Adrianna pimps V-Cast’s tie in with On The Lot. I wonder whether V-Cast executives are cringing every time they’re associated with this trainwreck. I would be.

Adam is up next with his movie about a soldier who wakes up in a dress in a strange house. It’s his most complicated film yet. I’m utterly confused by this until the last 30 seconds, when I suddenly realize that it’s an inventive movie with a pretty cool concept. That being said, until the last 30 seconds, this definitely falls into “Wack Alley Cab” territory (Kenny’s first week movie that was truly incomprehensible and abysmal). Once those 30 seconds hit though, it’s great, especially the end punchline. Carrie calls it innovative, freaky, and fantastic. Carrie then repeats those words, and basically calls it a movie for stoners. F. calls it brave and calls it Fellini-esque. He says though, that it sags a little in the middle. Garry calls it funnier than a 19th century Scandinavian drama. He also used the word “crotchsicle” I die a little inside.

Jason is up last, and considering he’s made fun of the mentally handicapped and Asians, I don’t expect his cross-dressing movie to be anything less than offensive. He says it fits into his “fun, crazy” style. He’s apparently changed his ending multiple times. Oh, and he now says in his video package that his biggest competition is Will. Well, it’s not as offensive as I expected, but it’s still not very good. It’s very basically shot and it doesn’t boast any real laughs. In fact, any of his larger intended laughs seem to come from gay jokes, which is a problem, because most gay-hysteria jokes died in the early 90s. Just ask “I Now Pronounce You Chuck And Larry.” Carrie says that he has a signature style, and that his films always have a nice spirit and humor, even though she doesn’t quite like his style. She calls it very good though. F. says he’s getting better, citing technical improvements, but says it was maybe a little too safe. I don’t quite catch Garry’s comments because about fifteen words into his criticism I realize that he’s actually making strong comments and critiques and my jaw dropped to the floor.

Carrie liked Adam’s the best. So did F. And Garry makes three, giving Adam the sweep.

My Rankings:
1) Sam- I thought his was well shot and executed.
2) Adam- He definitely gets points for his awesome ending, but its not great until the end.
3) Will- Cute but predictable. I’ve seen better from Will. Much better.
4) Jason- How is he still here? He’s a very basically technical director whose stories are never really great.

Hey, You! Yeah You! Person Reading This Blog!

Hey anyone who's reading this,

As the blog is getting bigger (in terms of number of posts, visitors, etc.), I was wondering if you, the readers, had any suggestions. I seek to please with this blog, and, well, if something I'm doing is against your fancy, please comment here and give me a suggestion on how to improve it. Do you like the stream-of-consciousness lite version of writing? Do you want to see more shows covered (Believe me, this is coming anyways)? Do you want shorter recaps? For you Big Brother recap readers, do you want more Jentences? Any suggestions would be appreciated. I'm just a TV fan, posting my reactions and recaps and any other "r" words that are currently slipping my mind pertaining to this blog. Thanks in advance for commenting, and, even if you don't comment, well, thanks for coming here and reading what I have to say. Or, even if you're not reading anything, thanks for coming. I hope the experience of looking at my blog for a few seconds was enjoyable. Or, if you're not even coming here, then you won't be reading this, so I feel free to say, you suck. Thanks (to the readers, not the non-readers. They still suck),

Nate Levy

PS: The new posts are below, at least until August 5th.

Big Brother 8/5. A Banner Episode...

Previously on Big Brother, Eric targeted Nick despite America’s wishes, and eventually got him evicted, causing Danielle to huff and whine. Oh, and Dick lived up to his name regarding Jen, which also brought on a huffy fit from Danielle. Oh, and Amber cried. A lot. Like a lot, a lot. Oh, and we left midway through an HOH competition. They’re hanging upside down like bats getting pelted with shaving cream guano. Everyone’s just hanging out when suddenly Amber takes a tumble at the six-minute mark. And she’s crying seemingly, at the 4-minute mark of the show. Good work Amber. Kail says her faith made her hang on. I wonder whether God’s rooting for her or Jameka. Eric is DQed at the 9-minute mark. Jameka falls at the 10-minute mark. The fallen players are all talking about Nick’s speech to Danielle, saying that it effectively ended her real world relationship. Everyone is upset by relieved to see Nick gone. Except Eric. Who they’re apparently trying to make look more insane. That’s the only explanation for the haircut and change in editing. But we’re back to the hangings. But what’s this? A banner plane! Giving away secrets about the game! That says that Amber and Eric are liars. Amber claims that she can never ever lie, and then begins bawling. Eric is flipping out about the banner. Those affected parties and their cohorts are freaking out. Everyone’s seen the banner. Dani says that a light popped on in her head, and she put everything together. I doubt that. Zach drops out of the competition and Jameka is relieved. Dick drops out and is very pissed. This leaves Jess, Dani, Kail, and Jen. People are shouting words of encouragement to the players. Interesting that they don’t show Dick and Eric hurling foul insults at Jen and Kail like they were. Jess is the next one to drop off. Dani feels a really heavy weight on her shoulders. I think a feather would be a very heavy weight for Danielle though.

Can I just comment on how creepy that commercial of Julie Chen asking us if we like to watch is? Oh wait, here’s Dick hurling insults at Jen and Kail. He really is foul. Danielle’s not sure if she likes her dad’s strategy, but he seems to. He insults Kail as a Christian, which pisses Jameka off. Jen is now fighting back, bringing up that Dani is kind of an adulterous whore. Dani huffs. She’s so predictable. Jen is trying to deal with Dani, but Dani and Dick lay into her again. Eric is jumping now to attack Jen as well, trying to restore peace by yelling at Jen. Dani says that that was nice. New showmance a brewing? Jen drops out due to leg pain. Kail is now trying to deal with Danielle. Danielle won’t listen. Dani whines that Kail already has it. Kail makes a deal to be nominated but not evicted. Kail is officially the stupidest player of the season. Dani is so happy and Dick has puppet master in his eyes. Kail is crying because she couldn’t win. Eric is happy that Danielle won but is still freaking out about the banner. Jen is happy to be nominated again, because her replacement is usually the one to go home. Danielle proclaims that she wants to spice things up. Danielle is crying and huffing that they could have kept Nick. She keeps crying and huffing and Amber joins for a little bit before figuring out that neither of them were the other vote to keep Nick. Amber is immediately repeating what Danielle accused her of to Eric and Jameka, thus proving that the banner is true. Amber keeps swearing on her children and god that it wasn’t her. Jameka is thinking that something is tricksy here. I wonder if it’s a tricksy hobbit. Eric is looking really weasely nowadays and he is playing damage control like nobody’s business after the banner.

OOH! Shiny key! It means its time for a new HOH room, and we see the houseguests seeing Chris for the first time. Jen is pleased because all the pictures of her and Chris prove what an adulterous whore she’s been with Nick. Oh, and there’s a picture of Dick’s mom and Danielle, which makes him tear up. Danielle and Dick almost start strategizing the second the door shuts. Danielle is whining about Nick getting evicted again. Danielle has seemingly figured out that Eric is the leak in the alliance, which is actually wrong. He’s the vote but not the leak. Dick is downstairs and Eric tries to figure out what they know. Eric is pushing that the vote was Jen, but he’s pushing it a little hard. Dick is now convinced that Eric is the leak. Dick is sure he’s figuring out who and why, and it’s not Colonel Mustard with the Wrench in the Conservatory. His theory is blatantly wrong, which makes this a very funny strategy. They very stupidly go to Eric’s closest friend and tell her everything. Jessica tells the relatives that she’s with them. We then cut to her asking Eric if he was the vote, which he denies. Jessica tells Eric their idea, their plan, and everything. Eric is a small, angry man and he rages against Dick and Danielle in the diary room while making his newly found serial killer face with Jessica. It’s time for our America’s Choice question, where we can make Eric promise to take someone to the final two with them. Looks like BB is trying to screw Eric over even more than before.

We come back to spooky music and its in regards to Jen trying to talk to Danielle. Jen rallies for her and Kail to be nominated again. Jen is trying to smooth things over, and kind of lying, but she seems at times sincere. They have a small idiotic conversation about the mystery vote. It’s time for America’s choice task for Eric, who has to get Jen nominated again. Seriously, what’s with all the Jen hate? She’s done nothing to you but provide you entertainment. Eric, Dustin, Jameka, Danielle, and Dick are talking about the mystery vote and Dick accuses him of trying to sweep it under the rug. Eric’s excuses are starting to run dry, and Dick begins his rager of the episode. Surprisingly it’s not at Jen but at Eric. He yells at Eric at rages about the hammock. We get only one shot of the other group of houseguests, whose reactions are priceless. You should find the video of them. It’s where Zach figures out he has a ringworm. Surprise houseguests!

It’s nomination time and there’s little to no drama, because everyone know who’s going up. Dustin, Eric, Jameka, Amber (ugh), Dick, Jessica, and Zach are all safe, and surprise surprise Jen and Kail are the nominees. Déjà vu all over again as Yogi Berra would say. Everyone claps as Jen and Kail are nominated together for the third straight week. Kail gets the “you’re a competitor” excuse and Jen gets the “you asked for it” excuse. Kail still thinks she’s just a pawn even though this makes the third time. Jen’s just having funny. Danielle tells us to expect the unexpected with her veto plan. I say that unless she nominates Julie Chen, I won’t be surprised.