On The Lot 6/26. Comedy Tonight!

The show starts off in front of the painfully poor-looking fake movie theater front. Is it just me, or is Adrianna Costa wearing less and less each week. Not that this recapper is complaining, but I wonder if she’s gonna host the finale in Carrie Fisher’s Leia bikini. Now that would garner ratings.

Tonight is comedy night, and, unfortunately, they are not referring to how painfully and unintentionally funny the show can be at times. Adrianna rotates 540 degrees with the camera while introducing what happened this past week for our finalists. I’m guessing that that will be the most interesting thing she does all night. Onto a recap of last weeks failures (mainly Jessica). All the directors are magically sitting in a perfect formation when Garry and a very demure Adrianna arrive to deliver the results. What’s interesting is that the show seemingly can’t find a good way to deliver the results. It’s changed each elimination week. In a shock to absolutely no one, Jessica’s film of a man cutting down a tree garnered the least number of votes. Adrianna then delivers news to the 6 directors going this week: Will, Hillary, Adam, Shalini, Zack, and David. For the umpteenth time tonight, we (and the directors) learn that they will be writing, shooting, and editing a comedy in 5 days. Here’s hoping Hillary’s, Shalini’s, and David’s won’t be as bad as their first week’s comedies. If I see one lady peeing on a bus again, I’m turning off this TV.

This week’s judging panel includes our normal mental patients, Carrie and Garry, and our specialty judge, director of such cinematic triumphs as “Just Like Heaven” and the Freddie Prinze Jr. vehicle “Head Over Heels”, Mark Waters. I wish they would bring in John Waters instead. Again, that would make much better TV than this. We can only hope.

Shalini is up first. She’s stepping out of her comfort zone. Neither the other directors nor her actors seem to have any confidence in her. Surprisingly enough, I actually dig this one. Shalini’s first one-minute comedy didn’t have a single laugh to it, and her submission film showed that she could do documentary filmmaking, something we had already established. But this one is well shot and executed. The only thing I had problems with was some of the actors actually. She seems to have a particular soft spot for Asian actors though, and may need to branch out a bit in terms of her subject of focus. Carrie likes it and reiterates that Shalini went out of her comfort zone. She thought it was funny, which is interesting, because Carrie has previously derided any sort of humor that involved the buttocks. Mark Waters continues the trend of the guest director being the only one to make actual film criticism, commenting on her shot technique. Garry liked it because he once did something in a proctologist’s office as well. He liked that there were subtitles, because he doesn’t speak Korean. Garry actually comments on Adrianna’s slowly disappearing clothing. He may actually be awake during these things. Who knew? Adrianna calls it “below the belt” humor. Wow. You see that America? Adrianna made a funny. What? Oh, absolutely no one thought that line was clever in the least. Good. Because it wasn’t. Adrianna announces that voting was up 37% last week. Meaning that 137 people voted, as opposed to 100. Maybe less.

Wait. Did Adrianna’s dress actually get shorter over the commercial break? I think it did. Hooray. Adrianna asks Mark Waters what his favorite comedy is. His response of Groundhog Day is great for Adrianna, because apparently she thinks Groundhogs featured prominently in Shalini’s movie, and somehow it continues to segue into Adam’s.

Adam’s “Dance Man” short was one of the better of the first week, and the way he’s stepping out of his comfort zone is that he’s using special effects. To me, Adam’s short reeks of an extended ripoff on the Geico cavemen idea. Sorry Adam, ABC beat you to that. Overall, I don’t find if funny. The concept is just tired to me. Carrie thought it was ambitious and unlike his previous work, but she thought it was good after stammering for a while. Mark thought that he blended comedy and cinematics well, but that he needed a stronger laugh at the end. Garry liked the car and that somehow; by having the same actors play multiple parts that gives him a bigger cast. Oh, and he comments on a pretty young blond behind him. As if you weren’t crazy enough Garry, now you have to be sketchy as well? Also, he calls Adam Zack, but then apologizing, claiming he was confused by Adrianna’s dress, which I think has gotten shorter yet again.

When we come back from break, Adrianna is sitting, so I’m not sure if her dress has gotten any shorter. After really poorly plugging VCast, we have Will’s comedy short. His past two have been really good and surprisingly funny, so here’s hoping the trend continues. Will’s last two have been light-hearted though, and this week he appears to have taken a darker, gorier turn. No, Will. Next week is horror. Will pulls off comedy yet again, with a disturbing if still funny look at one surgical intern’s sadistic tendencies. And, am I mistaken, or was that the dad from Family Matters. That show rocked when I was 7. The only thing I’d say is that it could have been a little less bloody. Carrie says that only Will could make blood and brains adorable. Carrie also makes an actual funny. See, Adrianna? That’s how it’s done. Mark Waters admits that he’s been watching every week. So Mark, I guess you’re the other viewer. After saying that Will is one of the most talented directors, he calls this a misfire, saying it’s not grounded in reality. Because all situations in comedy always happen. Like that time Robert Hays saved my entire plane from crashing. Or that one time where I turned into a llama and John Goodman helped me stop Eartha Kitt from taking over my kingdom (For those of you who don’t know, that was “Airplane” and “The Emperor’s New Groove”). Garry knows Will’s name, and was scared by Will’s movie, because Garry thinks doctors turn him into a marionette when he’s under anesthesia.

OK. Adrianna’s dress definitely got shorter. Again. Thank you to whoever keeps tailoring her on commercial breaks. You’re making Mark Waters and me very happy I’m guessing. Hillary is up next. Her past two comedies, if you can call them that (I’d call them torture devices), were horrendous. What drivel can we expect from her this week? That would be “Under The Gun”. You know it’s gonna be bad when you start off with a sperm bank sign. I mean, I thought it was gonna be bad, but it was so poorly done. Bad acting, completely unfunny, and just over-the-top crude. Carrie thought it was good, which is surprising, considering her track record with crude. Mark thought it was well shot, albeit missing a few. Garry calls it an action movie, and then makes a joke about masturbation. We get it Garry; you’re a creepy old man. He loves it as well, calling it Thelma and Louise rob a sperm bank.
Adrianna can’t wait for David’s sex comedy. Maybe they’ll awkwardly hug again. Dammit. Adrianna’s dress got longer. Apparently, David is bringing sexy back. Or maybe awkward back. Or not particularly funny back. Oh great, Kenny’s on set. It’ll be an emo sex comedy. Only funny in its punch line, David’s film is, fittingly, more awkward than sexy. It’s well shot, but his two actors have less than zero chemistry, and I think his lead guy was the nerdy brother from Eurotrip. Carrie found it confusing. Maybe that’s because too many men have left her for other men, which we learned last week. She didn’t think it was a success. Mark calls it a delicious conceit that didn’t deliver. Garry starts off with “sex is nice”. Seriously Garry. How pervy are you gonna be? He thought it was a better wrestling scene than in a film that he saw called “Borak”. I’ll have to try to catch that one Garry. Garry then quotes Samuel Beckett, but the quote doesn’t quite apply. Nice try Garry.

Zack is up last. The show appears to be saving the best for last. Adrianna starts off at the terribly fake concession stand, where she has apparently bought popcorn, only to realize it has too many calories. And has probably been sitting there for upwards of a day. Zach’s title, “Die Hardly Working” is already funnier than the entirety of Hillary’s film. Surprisingly enough, Zack’s actually isn’t the best one of the night. I mean it’s good, I like the concept, and it was very cleverly shot. But the acting wasn’t great and it lacked a good punch line. Carrie quotes Garry Marshall, with a quote that, like Garry, has nothing to do with this show. Carrie thought it was fantastic and charming, as usual. Carrie points to three girls in the back that think Zack is the cutest guy in the competition, but the camera doesn’t cut to them, because I don’t think they’re actually there. Mark liked it because it was grounded in reality, and thought it was hysterical. Garry calls him Zack (Correct Garry!). Garry thinks killing should look silly.

The best of the night were Will and Shalini, while Hillary, David, and Adam’s all left a lot to be desired. Next week sees Kenny and the others making horror movies. Maybe his will be someone forced to watch “Wack Alley Cab” over and over on loop. Shudder.