Big Brother 7/12. Eviction Time. But First!

Julie Chen, whose hair does not seem to have deflated since the last time we saw her, introduces what’s been happening the first week with the enemies. Then we go into the clips. Post veto, Carol hopes she has some supporters. Amber reiterates for the umpteenth time that she’s doing this for her daughter. Dick and Dustin both inherently trust Amer. Amber thinks she has more votes to stay than Carol. Carol, now talking to Jen, realizes she has to fight to stay but isn’t aggressive. Carol and Jess try to make up, but Jess isn’t having it. Carol now seems to be campaigning HARD. Thank god. I truly hope she stays. Even if she does have Joe campaigning for her. That’s forgivable. Zach now sees the point of keeping Carol, because they’ll be indebted. In the middle of strategy talk in the HOH room, Jen walks in and the boys leave, causing her to wonder if the boys are coming back. Jen, however, may have picked up on what was actually happening. Our favorite unstable roommate may be more than meets the eye (and that’s a lot of her). Woah. Is Jen a Transformer? I wonder what she turns into. I bet it’s a dancing cage. Or a shirt printing press. When Julie starts talking to them, she springs a question on Jen, who doesn’t answer, because she’s partially brain-dead. Jess and Carol say they don’t really care that one another are in the house. Dick says that his situation is hard but good. Danielle finds it awkward, and that everyone is making it easier for her. Joe and Dustin snipe at each other through compliments. After the break we’re gonna get Dick back-story. But First (Oh, Julie!), the houseguests discuss why they would want to evict either Carol or Amber. Nothing much of any substance is said.

Now, it’s time for some juicy Dick back-story. It starts with Dick pressuring Kail for an opinion on his child-rearing skills. Apparently, the Dick and Danielle feud started over a loan to Danielle that she couldn’t pay back. I certainly hope its more than 5 dollars. Dick’s mom thinks Dick is a good Dad. Dick wants to win the money and his daughter. Dick’s son hopes that the second happens. On to Kail’s secret talk in the HOH room. Kail likes big strong men. Kail was surprised that Eric would confide in her, but then chalks it up to her mom-ness. After the break, we find out how Eric’s family is dealing with his being America’s player. But First (Julie strikes again!), more pointless ramblings about the nominees, except for Jessica’s sadistic “The only reason to keep Carol is because its fun to watch her try to save herself. But she’s not gonna.” Note to self: Never borrow from or lend 5 dollars to Jessica.

Eric’s friends and family didn’t know he was gonna be America’s player. His brother hope’s he’s not America’s player. Listen Eric’s brother. If you hadn’t said that, you know he wouldn’t be. Reality TV editing should have taught you that. Speaking of America’s player, he wants to evict Carol, not Amber. And America wants him to evict….. Carol. Damnit Reality TV! The way he delivered his speech I was sure he was going to vote to evict Amber. And America, you are too easily duped by sad backstories. Now we’re gonna be stuck with Amber’s Conversations With God for a while.

It’s time to evict. But First (Julie, enough is enough!), they get a chance to say their goodbyes. Amber hopes everyone is in the last two standing. I’m not even gonna ponder that Jen-worthy sentence (a Jentence, if you will). Carol hopes everyone prospers and wishes everyone good luck. By a vote of 10-1, Carol is evicted. Houseguests, you officially suck. Everyone wishes her bye. Carol hopes she grabbed the right bag. Amber is, yet again, crying. Big surprise. Jessica looks happy beyond words. Julie Chen asks Carol how Jess is different. Carol says that she isn’t, and she doesn’t want to go there. Julie Chen does one of her “rubbing salt in the wounds” video packages. After watching, Carol calls Jess a conceited bitch. Oh Julie Chen, you saucy minx. You know how to get a reaction. I’m pretty sure I saw a blinking light in the back of Julie’s head. You’d think that the makeup people would have learned how to cover Chen-Bot’s more, um, “mechanical” features by now, but whatever.

It’s HOH competition time. Tonight’s competition is called “Majority Rules”. They have to answer how they think the majority will answer. I’m pretty sure they’ve done this exact competition before. Zach is first out. Then Nick, Danielle, and Dick. Then, in a stroke of genius, everyone says that Joe is more likely to cheat on a significant other than Dustin. Jameka is next out. Then out goes Amber. I guess God didn’t want her to be HOH. Julie eliminates Mike and Jess, and, for the second time Zach. Nice one Chen-Bot. Tie breaker time between Dustin, Eric, Jen, and Joe. They’re asked to guess how many gallons of water would the teacup hold. Crazy Jen is our new head of household, meaning that this should be, an, ahem, interesting week to say the least. If I were anyone who could get between Nick and Jen, I would watch my back. And, because of that, if I were Nick I would watch my back. Jen stares at everyone in the backyard as they discuss the competition and the eviction. Then she tells Amber that, if I heard correctly, she voted to evict Amber. Nice and blunt Jen.