Big Brother 7/15. Ladies and Jents, Some Good Television.

In our friendly Big Brother recap, we’re told that Amber and Carol were nominated because they wouldn’t retaliate; Jen proved herself to be completely unstable (again and again and again) and then won power in the house. Oh, there’s also the America’s player question. Yeah, that’ll be mildly interesting. Apparently, Kail’s alliance’s goal was to oust Carol. I have NO idea why. Carol, while being all cute and smart, didn’t exactly seem like a threat. Amber thinks god swayed 10 people to vote to keep her. I guess the Devil controls Jen. Dustin acts like a kooky drunk Japanese businessman and wears a tie on his head. I don’t know why. Jen reiterates that she voted to evict Amber. Everyone wonders how in the hell Jen won HOH. I think flabbergasted is the best word to describe everyone’s reaction. Joe decries the technicality that gave Jenius Jen the big room. Dustin complains that everyone’s gonna suck up to Jen now, and then promptly congratulates her. Jen reveals that she has no idea what she’s doing. Dani is terrified. We’re next introduced to a brilliant creation, “You and I” the Jen drinking game. Basically, some drinks every time Jen says I and another drinks every time someone says “You”. The I’s have it, and by it I mean diseased livers. Jen’s HOH room is disappointed. There’s not enough recent pictures of her. And there’s like 10 of her family. Jen starts taking photos off the wall of herself. Seriously. I’m pretty sure we can actually see the hamsters running in her head at times. But there may be more than meets the eye (see my previous Big Brother entries for my thoughts on Jen possibly being a Transformer). She sees through Joe’s vain attempt to get Dustin nominated. That may be easy, but it’s an accomplishment for a member of such an esteemed organization as Jensa. On a completely different note, does you think Jen is a Jentile?

When we come back from commercial, we’re treated to Nick and Mike working out. Dustin and Zach watch and mock. Dustin is actually funny. Zach just makes awkward gay jokes. The strongman competition is fairly funny to watch though. Then we get to watch Dani and Nick flirt. Nick wants to give Danielle something with her eyes closed. Nick, I can see where you’re coming from. I’ve always had a thing for that skeleton in the school science lab. Nick uses lame cliché advances. Jen constantly changes her strategy while talking to people. Kail tells her to go for her enemies, so she contemplates Evil and Danielle. But then she doesn’t want to go for the girls. So Kail suggests those darned homosexuals. Oh Kail, go thump your bible. Jen then suggests Nick, prompting Kail to protect Mrs. Robinson’s boy (Does this make Jen the Elaine (if everyone has The Graduate roles) of the show) by suggesting Jessica. The entire conversation ends with Jen saying she’s gonna put up who she wants. Thanks for that useless conversation then Big Brother. On a completely different note, if Jen commanded a Spanish speaking army, would she be the Jeneralissima?

When we get back, it’s time for our food competition. It’s guys vs. girls and Joe. Our houseguests have to figure out the two main ingredients. For the first round, Jameka correctly identifies Banana and Bacon pie in 5 bites. Next, Dustin wins a point because Amber can’t identify Potato and Pineapple pie in 5 bites. Eric calls Sausage and Apple pie Spam and Fig. Jessica botches the next one and we’re tied at two. Joe proves himself incredibly obnoxious. Danielle brings them 4 to 2, but Dick scores. Then amber scores and makes it 5 to 3. Kail fails. Hey, that rhymes. Nick correctly gets Tuna and Jelly Beans (shudder) and makes it 5 all. Joe fails, and the boys are a point away from winning. Danielle has to accurately name the pie to keep the girls in the game. Danielle calls Clams Tofu, and gives the boys food while the girls and Joe are resigned to slop. A bunch of the boys feel sad. Well, then you should have thrown the competition. On a completely different note, does anyone else think Jen is marjenally intelligent?

Time for America’s choice. Eric has to target…. Jessica! Yes. My vote won. I hate Jess. Eric seems to be fairly successful, playing on Jen’s vanity. That Eric, he’s a clever one. Jen then talks to Nick. She says that she sees what’s going on and she’s not dumb and that she thought she had something with Nick. Nick has to control himself from laughing out loud. Jen’s jealous bitch comes out. Nick seems terrified. She now claims she may put up the most negative people and threatens Nick. He tells her to nominate him if she wants. Jen comes to harass Mike in bed. Mike leaves; leaving an aggravated Dick stuck with Jen. Zach thinks that Dick and Jen could be a couple. Dick launches into Jen in front of Amber, Dustin, and Jameka. They all pretend not to know what’s going on, before all leaving the room very quickly when this starts going down. Dick’s tirade is a mini-Busto, claiming she’s narcissistic. Dick leaves and Jen stares into the cameras and waves. Seriously, I’m starting to think Jen is an actual evil Jenius, and she is playing everyone, including America. My hope in humanity depends on this thought. This episode’s America’s Choice question involves whose bed we want Eric to start walking into. This could be fun. On a completely different note, if Jen were seeking information from an enemy combatant, do you think she’d follow the rules of the Jeneva Convention?

It’s nomination time, which means all the Jen crazy is coming into play. Dick, Nick, Joe, and I’m guessing the entire rest of the house is worried. Hell, I’m worried Jen’ll nominate me. Jen thinks the rest of the house will be pleased with her nominations. She wants her nominees to get the message that they’re not being good people and now because she nominated them they’ll lead better lives. Sorry Jen, but God putting Amber on the block is more likely. Jen thinks that her two nominees bring the rest of house down. Jameka is safe, followed by Kail, Mike, Zach, Nick, Jessica, Amber, Dustin, Eric, and finally Joe. This means our two nominees are Dick and Danielle. Jen nominated them because they together cause negative vibes for everyone. It’s awkward to be around them, and their negative sarcasm is rubbing off on everyone. Apparently it all started from Danielle. Danielle pulls a move from Daddy Dick’s playbook and threatens Jen. Jen promises to smile during Dick’s next tirade. Now, on the surface, it seems like she just dislikes Dick and Dani stands between her and Nick. But, and this plays into my Jen is a super Jenius theory in that if she truly wanted Dick out of the house, she couldn’t have put up a better co-nominee. Dick isn’t going to campaign against Danielle. It’s secretly brilliant. I hope. On a completely different note, I hope if Eric is forced to crawl into Jen’s bed that he doesn’t get any Jenital warts. Does anyone find this Jenuinely funny?