Big Brother 7/26. An Eviction As Thrilling As The Evictee

Previously on Big Brother 8, Kail realized that her boys bailed on her, her enemy won HOH, she backtracked and sold everyone else out, got nominated, had her plans blow up in her face, and made the sorriest showing I’ve ever remembered in a veto competition. Oh, and Mike finally did something of interest. It was shocking to say the least. Not Mike’s self sacrifice, the idea that someone could have been that personality-less to only pop up in the third week. Julie Chen, wearing something NOT from the veto competition but with hair as big as ever. But we’re quickly transported back into our two-tone house for the veto ceremony aftermath. Kail doesn’t like having to sit next to Mike on the block. Dick apologizes to Mike citing “It’s just game”. That’s not what you said after Veto Dick. Tsk Tsk. Immediately, Dick is going around telling people to vote out Mike. So much for “Kail, you’re going home this week”. Seriously Dick, you scream at Kail for not keeping you word, and then you break your own word? Tsk tsk. Immediately, Kail is seen campaigning against Mike after complaining that she doesn’t want to have to campaign against Mike. Kail, seriously. Dick was right. Jen tells Kail that Mike isn’t a good player (another astute observation that goes to my theory that Jen is actually smart), then goes to him and basically says Kail’s done. There’s more discussion of getting Mike out. It’s all starting to run together. America wants Eric to get Kail evicted, which is a problem for Eric, seeing as how the house is now planning to unanimously evict Mike. Eric is really sly with all this stuff. Good choice in America’s player CBS. During a strategy talk in the HOH room, Dick starts farting a lot, which clearly irks Jameka. Eric is still pushing Kail really well, but people don’t seem to be buying it. Well, maybe a little bit. But not a whole lot. It’s gonna be an uphill battle for Eric here. We get a tease about Danielle’s outside boyfriend (I feel bad for the guy) and our houseguest vote live, but first (Julie, I thought you’d never say it!) we get ramblings about the nominees from Dustin, Zach, and Jessica.

When we come back, we’re treated to Julie talking with the houseguests. First up is Zach for streaking, which the houseguests watch the video of and guffaw. Zach streaked because he needed to get his “high” back. Julie asks Jameka, who’s lying low, asks about those with big personalities, which she doesn’t really address. Julie asks Jen about the mustard incident, who says she’s dropped the investigation. Eric is asked about his wrestling match with Jen, who makes jokes about his size and Jen’s strength. Abut now it’s on to the Nick/Danielle drama. We watch them flirt some more, then we get to watch Dick insult the boyfriend in comparison to Nick. Then we get to meet the schlub. He mentions that their relationship has gone to pondering marriage and he calls her his soulmate. He says that Nick is the guy who makes all the good guys like him look bad. Apparently, she told him to trust her before going in the house. We get to see Danielle being whiny about the situation that she got herself into. The boyfriend just calls her confused and says he’s not worried about it, but it still hurts. And then Nick and Danielle make out under the sheets, as the boyfriend says, “I can’t wait for her to come home”. Kudos BB editors, you like your segments mean. It’s time for the HOH chat, and Julie asks about his relationship with Danielle. Dick says things are going well and he’s finally getting discussions and hugs. He doesn’t trust Nick and would boot him tonight if he could. Dick jokingly denies calling out people, but then embraces himself and says he’s just putting everything in the open. He then compares Kail’s mind to a cavern, and I can’t think of a better way to describe it. We’re teased with a segment about Jen where Julie Chen actually says that ‘The houseguests call her a vain, robotic bitch who’s favorite word is I” In my opinion, Julie Chen should never utter the word robotic. It only highlights her, ahem, situation (Cough Cough Chen-Bot Cough Cough). But I do think that this will probably be the best thing to come out of Julie Chen’s mouth all season. Unless she starts spouting a binary solo (Shout out to all the Flight Of The Conchords fans out there).

It’s time for our Jen story. Jen basically admits that she’s not like she is in real life. She got straight As in high school (I Knew It!). Apparently, Jen is used to looking over her photos down with rigor, so her bad photo meltdown wasn’t that unexpected. Apparently, Jen’s friend told her to play dumb. I feel so vindicated. But enough pointless backstories, it’s evictin’ time! Mike’s final speech talks about moving out of comfort zones and doing what you believe in, which for him involves sacrifice. Mike uses a lot of big words, but I’m pretty sure he’s just trying to impress us. Julie cuts him off mid-way through speech, but he continues anyways. Kail appreciates everyone’s friendship and wants to keep furthering those friendships. It’s around now that I notice that Nick is trying to look like a porn version of Don Juan. It’s so bad it’s funny. Zach’s the first vote and he votes to evict Kail. Jameka votes to evict Mike. Jen doesn’t look sure, but she votes to evict Mike. Dustin, wearing a far better fake mustache than Nick’s real one, votes to evict Mike, making it 3-1 as we go to commercial.

And we’re back, with Eric’s voting orders to vote Kail, but Julie asks who Eric would wanna be in a relationship with. Eric responds anyone. I’m sure America is gonna take you up on that. Amber evicts Mike. Nick evicts Mike. Danielle evicts Mike. Jessica evicts Mike. It’s time to reveal the result. It’s 7-2 and Mike is evicted from the Big Brother house. Kail doesn’t look at all shocked and stops to give flowers to everyone on the way out. He goes out like a gentleman, hugging all the ladies. Kail, now that he’s gone, is crying. Dick immediately starts accusing Jen of voting to evict Kail. Eric looks terrified of being accused. Julie immediately tells him that people are saying his move is the dumbest ever. His goodbye messages are mixed between nice and telling him he’s an idiot that lacks a personality. Wow, Mike is so lacking in personality that he only gets one question from Julie. That’s saying something. Even Carol got multiple questions.

We’re back for the HOH competition. This week’s competition is called “Eliminator”. It’s about Carol, Joe, Mike, or none of the above. If you get it right, you can eliminate someone. If you get it wrong, you’re eliminated. Eric gets the first one right and eliminates Jen. Dustin gets the second one right and eliminates Zach. Nick gets the next one and knocks out Kail. Jameka gets the next and knocks out Nick. Dustin eliminates Jessica next. Eric eliminates Amber. Eric eliminates Danielle as well. Eric knocks himself out next. Dustin gets the next one right and wins HOH. Which means another week of safety for Amber. Ugh. She looks like she’s crying right now though. I remember why I truly disliked her. She slipped out of my mind for doing nothing of any interest this week. But before we finish this week, we get our America’s choice question on who we want him to nominate. I’m not gonna suggest Amber, because I like Eric and that would be impossible. I’m really starting to get over Nick. I’m think that’s where my votes may lie. Julie asks Dustin how it feels and what Joe is thinking. Dustin thinks Joe’s probably pissed but he loves being HOH. Dustin feels more at home now that Joe is gone, and he proclaims life as back to normal. Dick’s advice is to lie low. Kail is touched to the heart that everyone kept her this week. She seems more touched in the head than the heart. Julie shlocks the week’s upcoming events, and we get to eavesdrop on the houseguests, where Dustin proclaims his ego boost is down. I wonder where his mustache went. That was one kickass mustache.