Big Brother. Lazy (Television) Sunday...

Previously on Big Brother 8, Danielle further embarrassed her boyfriend on national television, Dick got Mike (Who?) out of the house, Eric’s vote threw the house into disarray, and Dustin won HOH, unfortunately guaranteeing Amber another week of safety. We come into the house in it’s full two-tone glory, and immediately go to the Diary Room to hear Kail praising God for saving her ass and Dick immediately launches into terrorizing Kail and Jen. Oh Dick, you’re so predictable. Jen defends herself (rightly) but Dick will have none of that. Nick thinks it was Jessica and tells Amber such. Amber, being the backstabbing bitch she is (you will see more hatred towards her) immediately goes to Jess and begins to blame Nick. Eric is just glad that his name isn’t being mentioned, and tries to deflect to Jen again. But Amber seems to be stirring the Nick pot, and I think the pot may be filled with her tears. Amber “knows in her heart” it was Nick. Dick asks Jen why she would vote to keep Mike and Jen says that she didn’t because she wouldn’t vote against the house. Dick picks up that Jen somehow knows how the house is turning, and Amber immediately blames Nick for that as well. I wonder if she’s gonna start blaming her crying on him too. It’s time for HOH shenanigans though, and, look, Amber’s crying. Dustin won, and she thinks that “SHE and Dustin” deserved it because they’re the strongest alliance in the house. I’m not going to touch all the problems with the sentence. Kail’s worried, but Jen isn’t, because she’s done nothing to him. Dustin’s HOH room is revealed, and all the pictures of his family get Amber crying (Again? Seriously?) and Kail thinking, “Gee, Dustin’s parents don’t mind him being gay. I wonder why?” Dustin breaks down over a letter from home, and does his best Amber impersonation. Dick and Amber get in a fight over whether children and pets have equal footing. Sucks to be Amber’s daughter, knowing that the dog is equal with you. Amber would apparently give her life for her dog. How did she pass her psych evaluation? The fight escalates and Amber proclaims that she’s done with him. I bet she tries to get him nominated. Tearfully.

Finally, we get some mention of the Dick at Nite show, where dick wanders around the house at night and causes mischief. Danielle is the first one we see pranked. She looks to be at wit’s end. Our next segment is Zach talking about creepy sexual things of his. Everyone looks mortified. Jameka dislikes Zach, but apparently she’s not the only one, as he goes around the house aggravating everyone. Zach wants to visit Danielle out of the house and offers her an egg. I feel uncomfortable for her. We get to revisit the Danielle//Dick drama, complete with Danielle being a whiny toddler and Dick throwing a pillow. She complains that he never listens to her and whines about not being treated with respect. I expect many a 15 year old around the country are saying ditto. Danielle makes the good point that she didn’t want to do this here. Danielle just whines while Dick tries to reason with her. She calls him a mean friend and says he doesn’t know her and huffs and puffs. Dick admits that he’s made mistakes, but Danielle just sulks. Dick comes across of heartfelt whereas Danielle just comes across as whiny. The victory goes to Dick. My viewing mate says that we don’t know what happened in their past and this is clearly affecting Danielle. My response is that Danielle also bitches and moans about Nick but then makes out with him and lets her boyfriend, a man she has said she cares deeply about, watch it on national television. So I’m pretty sure her emotions aren’t exactly trustworthy.

Upon our return, we get a piece on Eric and Jessica’s flirting. We get him flipping her and twirling her. It’s time for a medieval themed food competition. I think. They’re all kind of dressed like bootleg knights. Some of the funnier pairings are Dick and Kail (“A match made in hell”) and Eric and Zach (Stuck together because Zach would stop poking Eric who was sitting next to him). Dustin completely mispronounces sword and the competition commences. Jess and Jameka are the first to finish their egg and they win the competition. They get to choose the five people on slop for the week. First they pick Dick because he hasn’t been on slop yet. Zach is next because he’s creepy. Kail is next. Then Nick because they want to weaken him. Jessica is cutthroat. I’d watch out Eric. Jen is the last person on slop, and she’s pleased because it’s gonna help her avoid overeating. Then there’s some idiocy involving Dustin and his outfit. I don’t particularly care.

When we come back, Dick is pressuring Jen about whether she’s had a boob job. He’s insistent that she had one and puts words in her mouth about her enjoyment. He’s really pressuring her about her having plastic surgery. It’s kind of more off-putting. Jen neither confirms nor denies. Dick needs to lay off. Kail is trying to pressure Dustin into putting up Dick and Zach. Dustin doesn’t give her any answers, but proclaims to the camera that he’s like putty in his hands. Jen is next to talk to Dustin and brings up that pesky vote for Kail, and compares it to the mystifying mustard incident. The camera very smartly shows Eric doing both. Hehe Big Brother. Eric is told to get Jen nominated again. At the Late Night Crew (the name for the alliance of Dustin, Dick, Danielle, Jameka, Amber, Eric, and Jessica) meeting, Zach’s name is thrown out, and Kail seems like a sure thing. Eric gives a great scenario and basically gets Jen nominated. Eric, I like you. But I like Jen more. And I realize America is making you do this. But the whole “shooting the messenger” thing comes to mind. Plus, I’m pretty sure all the badmouthing you do isn’t because of America.

It’s nomination time, which means it’s time for footage of Dustin staring at the memory wall. Jen doesn’t think she’ll be nominated, nor does Zach. Kail’s nervous, but hopes it’s only as a pawn. Dustin warns us that not everyone’s going to be happy, and you can’t please everyone all at once. Apparently out of clichés, it’s time for the nomination ceremony. This week’s nominations are based on competitiveness and strategy. Like every other ceremony isn’t. Amber is safe (ugh), then Jessica, Dick, Jameka, Nick, Zach, Danielle, and finally Eric, meaning for the second straight week Jen and Kail are the nominees. Jen is nominated because she’s a strong competitor, and Kail has exhibited questionable behavior. Kail is really worried and she still thinks she’s a pawn. Dustin says that he wants Kail gone this week. Jen is finally fazed by this, as she can be seen crying in the bathroom. She didn’t think she’d done anything to Dustin. You didn’t Jen. America just doesn’t get you. But I do. Let's be friends?