Big Brother 8/16. The Freak Show Continues (And I Don't Just Mean The Houseguests)...

I'd like to preface this post by saying that my last recap was called "totally prejudiced". I responded in the comments, and I'd just like to repeat some of my response here.

I personally don't like Dick and the hate he spews. I think that his repeated verbal threats towards the houseguests should have gotten him kicked out weeks ago. I'm sorry if I offended you as a Dick fan, but I stand by what I said about Dick and Danielle. I don't think that the LNC are great people either. Amber is an emotional trainwreck, Eric can be ridiculously foul towards his houseguests, Dustin's ego does need to be checked, Jameka is hypocritical, and Jessica is a few cents short of a dollar, if you catch my drift. But these flaws, IMO, pale in comparison to what Dick and Danielle do. Jen and Zach are the only two people who I wouldn't vote out of the house right now. So I'm sorry if my Anti-Donato tendencies pissed you off, but I stand by my "totally prejudiced post".

That being said, enjoy another "totally prejudiced" recap...

Previously on BB8, Dick was an asshole, got nominated, continued to be an asshole, won the veto, continued to be an asshole, and vetoed his daughter, allowing BB to edit him as a martyr. Oh, and Jess proved that she’s not the sharpest knife in the drawer and Danielle whined and bitched about how they treat her poorly because of her dad and then walked out as they tried to speak to her. Tonight is another installment in the Chen-Bot diaries, and she’s back tonight in a hideous robot ensemble. And so it begins, with Julie glorifying Dick for going farther for a co-nominee than anyone has ever before. In, like, the history of time, ever, anywhere. Because Dick is just THAT good a person. Will father and daughter be torn apart, as Julie asks? Will the editing get even more biased? I hope the answers are yes and no, respectively, but I somehow doubt that that will be the case. We enter the house where, apparently, everyone has eaten Willy Wonka’s dinner candy that turns everyone into blueberries. Of note, they have not yet ballooned in size. I hope that happens soon, because it would be nice to see some entertainment on BB and THAT would be entertainment. Dustin is nominated, and Danielle is immediately pouting it seems. They show everyone saying how nice a person Dick is and immediately cut to Dustin in the diary room looking like a bad person mocking Dick. Dustin is happy being nominated and thanks Jess. Wow, we’re back in the Diary Room and could they have picked any worse clips to make Dustin look arrogant? This is so ridiculously biased that it’s not even funny anymore. Eric apologizes to Jess for the silent treatment and she eats up every one of his words. And it seems like its time for a date, Big Brother style, with awkward Zach courting Jess seemingly. But it seems to be more strategy talk, and Zach is basically offering himself to Jess to do whatever she wants, and also planting pro-Dick sentiments in her head. Zach says he will vote Dick out unless Jess tells him not to. It’s time for America’s choice, where it’s clear that America hates Eric and wants to screw him over by making him vote out his ally Dustin. Eric doesn’t seem to have caught on to that trend yet though, as he tries his best to awkwardly flirt with Jess and awkwardly convince her to turn on her alliance. Dick, I guess, caught wind of this and is now talking alliance with Eric, calling him logical and a game player. But Dick also thinks he’s a liar and a bad player. Dick never lies, he’s said that before, so I guess it IS possible for someone to think something and it’s exact opposite at the same time. I wonder if Dick can be in two places at once as well? Now THAT’S a scary thought. Eric is now fully trying to convince them to evict Dustin. I must say, Eric did pick the best player to align with as AP, because Jess is very easily convinced. Eric brings up the phrase “honor amongst thieves” and I think two things: 1) isn’t the phrase “No Honor Amongst Thieves”? and 2) Did Eric just admit that he’s a lying little weasel?

The Chen-Bot is back with some questions for the houseguests. Immediately, she asks Dick if he would have used the veto on Danielle earlier in the game and be the awesome dad that he is. I’m surprised that she doesn’t drool on him and promise to make robot love with him as she asks the question. She asks Danielle if she would have reciprocated and Danielle says she hopes she would but it’s clear that she wouldn’t. Jen is happy to have had the slop pass. Amber cries and tells her daughter that she loves her. I wonder if she lovers her as much as the dog though. And now it’s time for our first filler package, with Joe talking about Dustin. He talks about how self-involved Dustin is and how this is accurately depicting how Dustin was in their relationship. To me, this is the pot calling the kettle black, but whatever. They pick the most douche-tastic clips of Dustin and Danielle talking about how right Joe was about him. Also, they use as many clips of Dustin in his king’s cape as possible. We get to see the special visitors this week after the break, but first (Hasn’t Julie worn out this phrase chip yet?), we learn nothing new when the houseguests talk about the nominees. Amber hates Dick, Danielle hates Dustin, Zach says it’s a toss-up, Jen is happy that she can finally vote out someone she dislikes, Eric is America’s bitch, and Jameka isn’t happy about the house’s case of ED.

Chen-Bot welcomes us back for our talk with Jess. She asks Jess about why she was crying in the DR before the veto ceremony, who she trusts the most in the LNC, and whether she’s got a crush on Eric. The answers are that Jen can easily confuse her, Jameka and Eric, and maybe/maybe not. It’s time for our nominee’s to say their final words. Dustin says it’s been fun and he hopes they keep him. Dick says he did what had to do and he misses Carol. Finally, Dick and I actually agree on something (missing Carol). This is very scary to me. Amber is the first vote and, no surprise, evicts Dick. Eric is forced to evict Dustin and sucks up to America for screwing him over. Jameka votes to evict Dick. Danielle evicts Dustin. It’s tied, and as the Chen-Bot’s voice chip trips over her lines, we’re sent to commercial, wondering if Jen and Zach will evict the dick or the arrogant one.

And we’re back with Zach’s vote. He votes to evict Dustin. Uh oh, this isn’t looking good. Jen is last and it’s another vote to evict Dustin, thus evicting him and keeping that hateful prick around for another week of intolerance. Dustin is told the news and looks completely shocked. He gives Amber, Jameka, and Jessica big hugs and walks out the door to the great Chen-Bot in the front yard. Thankfully, Dick is saying nothing. Amber is crying.

It’s time for the Chen-Bot’s interview with Dustin. Dustin admits that he is so stunned, calls Eric sheisty (which, despite being a Jew, I’m not exactly sure is anti-Semitic), and admits that he did actually feel unsure about his safety. I’d definitely have preferred to have Dick gone, but Dustin has way too arrogant and is an idiot for nominating himself and thus also deserves his eviction. He thinks Amber could have handled the Eric thing better, and says that Joe can be pleased all he wants but Dustin outlasted him. In the goodbye messages, Dick laughs arrogantly, Jameka doesn’t think it will be aired, Jen introduces herself, Eric tells him that he’ll be seeing him soon in sequester, Zach calls him on his arrogance, Danielle says nothing of any importance, and Amber cries her way through telling him she loves him so much, despite having slammed gay men as untrustworthy on the live feeds.

It’s time for the HOH competition, but first, video clips! Apparently, this week the houseguests got some strange Alice in Wonderland themed visitors, including a little person spouting wisdom, a barbershop quartet, a pirate on stills (Who, in the funniest moment of the show is chased by the little person wielding a golf club), bunnies with playing cards, and a completely white mime. It’s finally time for the HOH competition, which is true/false questions about the visitors. Jen accidentally eliminates herself first. Dick and Zach are eliminated next. Then Eric gets eliminated, leaving Amber (Ugh) or Danielle (More ugh). Amber gets the next one wrong making More Ugh the new HOH, ensuring more than one week of douchebaggery from Dick and another week of pouting, whining, crying, and bitching in the HOH room. America’s choice is who to get nominated again, and I wouldn’t be surprised to see Jessica there, because America apparently hates Eric more than anyone else. I’m not even gonna bother voting on this one. We rejoin the houseguests in the living room. Dick is already smug about his survival at the hands of America, Amber starts talking about how hard it’ll be without Dustin. But, in a moment of true comedy, the Chen-Bot cuts her off seemingly mid-sentence. As we watch everyone awkwardly meander about, I begin to wonder if anyone would care if the house collapsed, crushing everyone but Jen and Zach. I certainly wouldn’t.