Marc Cherry May Be An Idiot

So, I know I’m just an amateur TV blogger and I’ve never written a script worthy of any merit, but I’ve got to say, I’m pretty sure Marc Cherry is an idiot. For the most of you who probably don’t recognize that name, Marc Cherry is the executive producer and creator of Desperate Housewives, which just had it’s fourth season finale a few hours ago. Now, some of you may be wondering, or maybe even internally monologuing “But Nate, why is Marc Cherry an idiot? He runs a very successful show. He’s won a few Emmys. He’s very rich.” To which I respond, he’s an idiot because he just killed his entire shows momentum in one fell three-minute swoop.

Now, when I heard the news about Housewives jumping ahead five years, I was ambivalent but my curiosity was piqued. It’s certainly a ballsy move, one I have to give him credit for taking. But, as I was watching the finale, and I saw it jump ahead five years, well, I decided that it was finally time that I give up on this show. Because, well, frankly (and this is something I’ve been approaching for a while with Housewives), I really don’t care anymore.

SPOILERS ARE BELOW

There were a few interesting dynamics going into the finale. The Lynette and Kayla storyline had a few ways it could play out interestingly (Which it did not). The Catherine/Dylan/Father whose name is unimportant storyline had potential. But then, we get resolutions to every story line. And then we jump ahead five years. And Gaby has what appear to be two Asian children. And Bree has a cookbook coming out. And Lynette has a really bad hairstyle and at least one problem child. And Catherine is boring and Dylan is getting married. And then the biggest “shock” is that Susan is married to someone other than Mike.

To which I respond, Marc Cherry: I don’t care. That’s about as blatantly as I can put it. I have always hated Susan. Expect her to pop up on my list of my 10 most hated characters on TV (Which is coming soon). Catherine isn’t interesting because everything is good with her. Same with Bree. We always kind of expected one of Lynette’s kids to end up a bad seed so no surprise there. And Gaby has two Asian children, which is not particularly interesting.

So, yeah, Marc Cherry, not really the best move you could have pulled. You pretty much killed any story momentum coming out of the end of this season. I can assume you’re gonna address Mike’s leaving, but not showing any of how it happened doesn’t make me care about it. Gaby becoming a mom was a goldmine you could have used, but you skipped ahead to her being a loving mom. Not particularly interesting. Lynette’s kids, being problems, not really new material. And again, Catherine and Bree don’t appear to have drama, so there’s not a lot of interest going into it. So, again, Marc Cherry, you’ve killed all your momentum going into season 5. And, in doing so, you’ve finally given me an excuse to give up on your show.