Pilot Review: Cavemen

Cavemen
ABC. Tuesdays at 8.
Starring Bill English, Nick Kroll, Sam Huntington, Kaitlin Doubleday, Stephanie Lemelin, and Julie White

You know how in my review of The Big Bang Theory I said that it could only go up from there? Well, I lied. Apparently you can go down. FAR down. I’m pretty sure I can confidently say that Cavemen WILL be the worst new show of the year. This show is so wildly offensive that I’m surprised that we haven’t heard any boycotts from groups like the NAACP. But not only is the show offensive, the show is wildly unfunny. Lets see, painfully bad topical humor? Check. Wacky outfits. Check. Groan Inducing Caveman jokes. Double Check. At least there’s no wacky montages or talking to the camera. But I’m sure those are coming.

But more on the offensive front. There is a fairly long conversation about the terms “Cro-Maggers” and its various derivatives. Do you get it, because that kind of sounds like the N-Word? Oh, and lets not forget the last scene, where it’s announced that the tip jar is stolen and everyone looks our cavemen and flames pop up behind them. Do you get it again? That it looks kind of like a lynching? What, you don’t find racism or lynchings funny? Oh, then I guess you shouldn’t watch Cavemen. Seriously, is this supposed to be a racial commentary? Because it’s not. It’s just unfunny and offensive. I swear, if there’s an episode later on involving their Uncle Tom…

Now, on to the cast. All these people should be ashamed of themselves. English, Kroll, and Huntington (Especially you, you’re reasonably well known) are all stupid caricatures of personality types. And they’re always in makeup, so if you did this for the fame, it’s not likely to come. Except as that guy who starred in that wildly offensive Cavemen sitcom. Those without makeup should equally be mortified with themselves, because their faces will be associated with this. Now, I wanna call out a few people here.

Julie White: You are a well-respected actress (you got raves on Broadway recently. For god’s sake, didn’t you win a Tony?). Why the hell are you in this dreck?

John Heard: See Above, but without the Broadway stuff.

Travis Schuldt: You are on Scrubs, so you clearly understand what a good comedy is. So why do you pop up here for 3 useless minutes. Was the paycheck really worth associating yourself with this?

Overall, I will be shocked if this makes it to air in its current form. This is one of the most wildly offensive shows I have ever seen. And it’s not even funny (with the exception of an occasional one liner from Julie White). Neither the person I was watching this with nor I laughed a single time. At the end, however, we both agreed that it was beyond offensive. Which is why this receives a:

Rating: Avoid At All Costs.