Big Brother 8/23. This is the End...

WARNING: SOME ADULT LANGUAGE

Previously on Big Brother, I was disgusted by everyone in the house but Jen, Eric thought short term instead of long term, “the rock and roll dad lived to fight another day”, power didn’t shift at all, Danielle proved that she’s can hold a grudge, no one was surprised by the nominations, Amber and Danielle participated in some CBS synergy, Danielle proved herself to be a catty bitch and backdoored Jen, citing that it's not personal reasons, Daniellejust doesn’t think she deserves the experience as much as the rest of them, which is pretty much a personal reason. The Chen-Bot is back tonight in all her electronic glory, and she immediately starts pimping the Donatos for Big Brother. She uses a bad pun and we segue back to the blue house as Jen is put into the nomination chair. Jen seems hurt but isn’t showing it. Jameka is beyond happy, because everyone hates Jen. Danielle tells Jen that she’s sorry (she’s not), and is definitely secretly pleased. Who’s Dick to stay away from the fight, as he seeks out Jen and basically says that Jen doesn’t deserve the experience because she’s not a money-grubbing whore. Dick tries to faze her, but in true Jen fashion she’s like a rock. Jen, apparently, now wants to talk, and Danielle basically cites that she doesn’t like her and Jen targeted her father because her father poured iced tea on her and has told her he wants to rape her until she bleeds. Jen is tearing up, but she’s still staying strong. Jen doesn’t want to go to the sequester house, and she seems to be seriously contemplating just walking out, which pisses off Jameka. Dick blows some smoke in her direction which pisses Jen off, prompting her to go inside and pack her belongings away because she doesn’t want to deal with these people, and I don’t blame her. Outside, Everyone sees this as an opportunity as to insult her behind her back. Jen is also about to violate her promise to stay on slop for the rest of the summer and Dick says she just wants attention. But now angry Jen comes out, as she does break slop rules AND raids Dick’s cigarettes, breaks them all up in the trashcan, and pours bleach on them. She’s wanted to do this since day one, and she hid her clothes for fear of Dickish retribution. Dick, of course, can’t take someone fighting back, and begins immediately insulting her and tells her that he’s not gonna be nice to her anymore. He acts true to his name and Jen stays strong, and I love her for this. Dick steals her clothing and tells us that he’s gonna hold on to those for the rest of the week until she leaves. Dick accuses her of being a little baby who throws a fit when she can’t get her way, and I’m immediately thinking of the phrase “Pot calling the kettle black”. Jen is now fully violating her slop rule, and everyone is pissed because how dare she take full advantage of her knowledge that she will be going home and there’s no reason to fight. She’s called to the diary room and is informed of a penalty vote against her this week. Dick senses he still hasn’t broken her so her goes back on the attack, blowing smoke in her face, and, when she protests and tries to knock the cigarette out of her hand, he burns her, which seems to finally break Jen, who breaks down and looks mere seconds away from punching Dick in his smarmy face, which Jameka recognizes and pulls her away to the bathroom. But God forbid this serious moment stop Julie Chen, now back, from plugging Amber and Danielle's trip to the Power of 10 on CBS!

Hey, remember that Amber and Danielle are gonna be on Power of 10! They’re whisked away from the house to a private Jet, which impresses Amber because she apparently doesn’t know the meaning of the words “Private Jet”. They’re both excited to be in New York, which is funny because Amber insulted my city (Born and raised) on the live feeds. Nick is back, because they’re trying to resurrect the showmance, and Amber’s cousin is there. Amber says that she feels like a somebody and she’s sure the audience is gonna love her. That noise? Well that’s the makeup person’s silent astonishment. It’s time for questions with the houseguests, and Amber, who recently appeared on the Power of 10 if you didn’t know, loved the trip. So did Danielle. Jen was upset with Big Brother and she didn’t care if she broke food restrictions. I love you Jen. Eric may or may not cross-dress outside of the house.

It’s time to talk to the Pouter, aka Danielle, in her HOH room, where she’s glad that Dick is still around, she hopes that its her and Daddy in the end because she can kick his ass in the finals, and says she can probably turn on her dad at any point. It’s time for final speeches. Jen is first, says she doesn’t really fit in there and she’s fine with leaving. I love her, because she really doesn’t care anymore. Jameka is happy to be there and hopes the others see how useful she could be. It’s voting time, and Amber is up first, evicting Jen. Dick is up next, and, surprise surprise, he votes to evict Jen. Eric votes to evict Jen on America’s doing. Zach votes to evict Jen. Jessica votes to evict Jen, making it a 6-0, with the penalty vote, vote to evict Jen.

It’s time for the Chen-Bot to put Jen out of her misery, and she fully expects it, waves to everyone. Dick isn’t even there when she walks out and Eric proves he is slowly metamorphosing into Dick Jr by saying “As happy as you are to be leaving, we’re happier to see you go." As soon as she leaves, Danielle, Eric, and Dick realize they have no one to bully, so they continue to talk about her. In the interview, we learn that Jen describes herself as random, didn’t really have a strategy coming in, hoped to teach others good things, and she knew she would have to be backdoored. Also, she says that Dick’s speeches, even if they’re strategy, are beyond the line. I continue to love you Jen. In the goodbyes, Jameka is nice to her, Eric lies through his teeth and says he enjoyed her, they clearly edit Dick’s goodbye to take out all the nastiness, Jess compliments her gameplay, Zach compliments her gameplay and sucks up to her, Danielle says it that in the last week Jen’s integrity disappeared, Amber tells her to dig inside herself to find the beautiful person and show it off. To this, I respond: I like Jameka, Eric is a lying douche, Dick’s isn’t worth commenting on because it’s such an editing hackjob, Jess isn’t all there, Zach clearly doesn’t know that he’s gonna be next week’s target, Danielle can go fuck herself (the whiny bitch), and Amber shouldn’t ever comment on someone’s inner or outer beauty, since she has none.

It’s time for the HOH competition, and I don’t really care, since I’m not gonna be watching the show anymore. It involves a dunk tank and A or B questions. Eric gets dunked first. Amber and Zach are eliminated together. Dick is eliminated last, and Jen clearly takes delight in dunking him. Eric and the others gloat and Jessica is one of the most restrained and I say “whatever”. The America’s player is the same as always, whom America wants nominated. The Chen-Bot leaves us in the house, where everyone is joking about the competition.

This will be my last Big Brother recap, for anyone who’s interested. Not only am I going back to college soon and therefore will have less time to waste on this show, but I’m fed up with this show for a number of reasons. One, Jen, my last liked houseguest, was evicted and there is no one to root for anymore. Two, the fact that the producers allowed one houseguest to burn another with a cigarette with no repercussions is horrid. Third, this little tidbit just came to light in response to allegations of rigging made to the FCC.

A "game show" in which selected contestants (vs. members of the 
public) participate is governed by Section 509 of Title 47 of the 
United States Code (USC), and regulated by the Department of Justice. 
However 'Big Brother' does not appear to meet the definition of a 
"game show." Rather, it is a 'for entertainment only' program, 
somewhat similar to professional wrestling in that it is a 
pseudo-contest in which the outcome is fully, or in some measure, 
predetermined.

This, basically, to me, confirms that Big Brother is at least partially rigged. I mean, add this to the videos of people talking about Diary Room voting pressures and the slanted editing, and I’ve just got to say screw this. I have better ways to spend my time. Well, not much better, but better than this. Thanks to anyone who enjoyed my recaps…