Big Brother 8/21. Veto This, Big Brother!

Previously on Big Brother, Eric made a deal with the house’s devil, forming a new “power alliance” that almost immediately seemed like it was going to cannibalize itself, Amber and Jameka realized they were screwed, Skeletor won HOH (or is that Danielle?) and proved that hatred of Jen clearly runs in the Donato bloodline, followed by nominating Amber and Jameka. We re-enter the house with our tinted houseguests finishing the nomination ceremony. Jameka tells us that she doesn’t understand Danielle’s motives, which to me are some of the clearest so far this game. Amber, surprisingly enough, is not crying but vowing to show that a good person can win the game. So Jen’s gonna win, huh, Amber? Eric goes to apologize and Jameka calls it a slap in the face, but she doesn’t say it to his face, which means no angry Jameka drama. Danielle assures Jameka that it’s not personal and reminds us that it’s a game, one that seems to be rigged in her favor. Jen is starting to think that saving Dick was a mistake because they’re letting a tight pair continue on. And thus, Jen continues to prove how much smarter she is than most of the house. Jen is immediately pondering whether Danielle is planning to backdoor anyone. We then get what starts as a discussion of Ultimate Fighting and turns into a flirting thing, which Zach interrupts, informing us that he loves to cock block Eric. Zach then makes awkward references to Jessica’s boobs. Wow, this is fun to watch. And when I say fun, I mean pointless and idiotic. It’s time for more Amber and Jameka talk, where they decide that the target of their behind the back attacks tonight is Jessica. Probably because she’s friends with the evil Jew, right Amber? Amber is sure she’s the target, but she had a vision that told her that they would both be here next week. God sent her a vision showing her winning POV, and then one of her and Jameka in the final two. This, for some reason, makes Amber cry. She tells us that there will be no more crying from her in this game, but she’s clearly holding back tears while saying this, so I doubt the validity of this statement.

Quirky aggravating theme music means it’s time for America’s Choice, where Eric immediately wonders what the hell “woobie” means. Eric has to give his woobie to Jessica, which he says will be a piece of cake. He apparently smuggles to woobie out of the Diary Room in his ass and gives it to Jessica that night, who accepts the ass animal with open arms. Eric thinks it strengthened their bond. Immediately, though, it’s time for Danielle to bitch some more about how long it feels like they’ve been here. She and Zach have a communal bitch session about Eric, Dick, Jameka, Amber, and Jen, meaning that only Jessica is liked in the house. They talk about how much of a loose cannon and how hated Jen is and I begin to fear for the only decent remaining houseguest. But enough of that, it’s time to pick Veto Players! Whoopee! This is a very special veto competition, because the winner gets the POV and the top two win a top-secret trip out of the house, most likely to the set of Two and a Half Men again. Danielle gets the houseguest’s choice and picks Dick, Amber picks Jessica, and Jameka picks Zach, continuing Eric’ streak of not having played in a single veto competition. Amber reiterates that they have to win. Amber thinks God put them up together. Amber, as much as the show loves Danielle, even they don’t think she’s God. Dick tries to psych out Amber and Jameka, but I really don’t feel the effort this time. Jameka is just pissed that everyone’s gonna be trying hard this week for the trip outside.

It’s time for the veto competition, which involves motorcycles apparently. Dick points out that it certainly seems like this challenge was tailored for him. Huh, Dick. I think you may have something. This challenge involves the houseguests guessing about what people outside of the house think about people who were a part of the house. The first question involves who thought Kail would be a good politician, and Dick is eliminated. The second question involves how hard people think it is to live in the BB house and Zach is eliminated. The next question is about who’s the better boyfriend, Dustin or Joe, a question that gets a range of responses and eliminates Jessica. The next question involves having a beer with Nick over Mike and eliminates Jameka, meaning Danielle and Amber get to go on a trip. Amber is crying that Jameka was eliminated and wishes that Jameka could go instead of her because she puts everyone else before herself. You know, unless they’re Jewish. The final question is about how many thought Zach made the sexiest bunny. Amber answered 65%, Danielle answered 47%, and America pegged it at 35%, meaning Danielle wins the POV as well. Zach is pleased that at least 35% of American’s found him sexy. Jen is pleased that Danielle won. Dick makes her hold up the trophy so he can give her gloating lessons. Amber just doesn’t understand why God lied to her about that whole winning the veto thing. Maybe because you’re just a crazy person and God didn’t send you that message. Or maybe God likes the Jews and was just screwing around with you. Either way, Amber, you’re crying again, meaning that you’ve already broken your no crying promise. Jameka tells her that God would want them to be strong. This causes Amber to start crying again. Well, so much for that hope America.

We come back and its time for Donato family strategy session, where Danielle is talking about making a deal with Amber to remove her from the block in return for future immunity. This worries me more, because I have a feeling on who Danielle wants to put up in Wahmber’s place, and that person’s name rhymes with “Jen”, mainly because that’s her name. Amber is apparently thinking on the same length as Danielle, but she tells Jameka that she’d be reticent to take a deal. Danielle takes Amber upstairs for a chat and Amber seems to be the one who’s bringing up deal talk. Way to sell out your best friend Amber. It’s clear that God was lying on the other front as well. Amber says anything and everything Danielle wants to hear and more which gets a big old smile from Danielle, who has more bones visible through her skin than a science class skeleton. Dick and Eric are having buddy talk and patting themselves on the back for being so cool and such a rocking force in the house. Both of them discuss wanting to backdoor Jen, and I fear some more. Eric says to Dick that he wants to, and immediately tells the DR that it’s not what he wanted. Danielle walks outside and bitches about how she’s awake at 2 AM and she seems to jump at the idea of backdooring Jen. Ugh.

It’s time for the veto meeting, and Danielle walks through the normal procedure. Jameka says that she’s sure Danielle already knows what she’s doing. Amber says something about the experience, stifles tears, and tells Danielle she’ll respect the decision. Danielle has weighed out her options and she chooses to use the POV on Amber. Jen immediately senses what’s up and gets into a position where she can easily get off the couch. Lo and behold, she chooses Jen, saying it’s nothing personal (it is) and calls it a life changing opportunity for SOME of us and she doesn’t think Jen deserves it as much as other. Doesn’t that kind of define personal attack, not to mention incredibly bitchy? Jen vows that “when” she stays next week, she’ll be targeting Dick and Danielle for the rest of the season. I love this girl’s moxie. Of yeah, we almost forgot about the mystery trip, which is Danielle and Amber being whisked off to NYC to compete on the new CBS show “Power of 10” to compete for up to 10 million dollars. Also, we can vote for whom we want Eric to target. I feel like this is as good a time as any to tell you that after this week, I’m giving up on this show. Because most likely Jen will be eliminated, meaning there will be no one likeable left in the house. Well, that and the matter that I’m going back to college (Go Connecticut College Camels, even though we kind of suck at most sports!) and don’t feel like wasting some of the precious time I have to watch TV on this house filled with disgusting people. So this upcoming eviction will be my last recap of BB. I hope that doesn’t disappoint anyone. But don’t worry; I’ll make up for it with other content. And recaps of other, better shows once the TV season starts.