Big Brother 8/5. A Banner Episode...

Previously on Big Brother, Eric targeted Nick despite America’s wishes, and eventually got him evicted, causing Danielle to huff and whine. Oh, and Dick lived up to his name regarding Jen, which also brought on a huffy fit from Danielle. Oh, and Amber cried. A lot. Like a lot, a lot. Oh, and we left midway through an HOH competition. They’re hanging upside down like bats getting pelted with shaving cream guano. Everyone’s just hanging out when suddenly Amber takes a tumble at the six-minute mark. And she’s crying seemingly, at the 4-minute mark of the show. Good work Amber. Kail says her faith made her hang on. I wonder whether God’s rooting for her or Jameka. Eric is DQed at the 9-minute mark. Jameka falls at the 10-minute mark. The fallen players are all talking about Nick’s speech to Danielle, saying that it effectively ended her real world relationship. Everyone is upset by relieved to see Nick gone. Except Eric. Who they’re apparently trying to make look more insane. That’s the only explanation for the haircut and change in editing. But we’re back to the hangings. But what’s this? A banner plane! Giving away secrets about the game! That says that Amber and Eric are liars. Amber claims that she can never ever lie, and then begins bawling. Eric is flipping out about the banner. Those affected parties and their cohorts are freaking out. Everyone’s seen the banner. Dani says that a light popped on in her head, and she put everything together. I doubt that. Zach drops out of the competition and Jameka is relieved. Dick drops out and is very pissed. This leaves Jess, Dani, Kail, and Jen. People are shouting words of encouragement to the players. Interesting that they don’t show Dick and Eric hurling foul insults at Jen and Kail like they were. Jess is the next one to drop off. Dani feels a really heavy weight on her shoulders. I think a feather would be a very heavy weight for Danielle though.

Can I just comment on how creepy that commercial of Julie Chen asking us if we like to watch is? Oh wait, here’s Dick hurling insults at Jen and Kail. He really is foul. Danielle’s not sure if she likes her dad’s strategy, but he seems to. He insults Kail as a Christian, which pisses Jameka off. Jen is now fighting back, bringing up that Dani is kind of an adulterous whore. Dani huffs. She’s so predictable. Jen is trying to deal with Dani, but Dani and Dick lay into her again. Eric is jumping now to attack Jen as well, trying to restore peace by yelling at Jen. Dani says that that was nice. New showmance a brewing? Jen drops out due to leg pain. Kail is now trying to deal with Danielle. Danielle won’t listen. Dani whines that Kail already has it. Kail makes a deal to be nominated but not evicted. Kail is officially the stupidest player of the season. Dani is so happy and Dick has puppet master in his eyes. Kail is crying because she couldn’t win. Eric is happy that Danielle won but is still freaking out about the banner. Jen is happy to be nominated again, because her replacement is usually the one to go home. Danielle proclaims that she wants to spice things up. Danielle is crying and huffing that they could have kept Nick. She keeps crying and huffing and Amber joins for a little bit before figuring out that neither of them were the other vote to keep Nick. Amber is immediately repeating what Danielle accused her of to Eric and Jameka, thus proving that the banner is true. Amber keeps swearing on her children and god that it wasn’t her. Jameka is thinking that something is tricksy here. I wonder if it’s a tricksy hobbit. Eric is looking really weasely nowadays and he is playing damage control like nobody’s business after the banner.

OOH! Shiny key! It means its time for a new HOH room, and we see the houseguests seeing Chris for the first time. Jen is pleased because all the pictures of her and Chris prove what an adulterous whore she’s been with Nick. Oh, and there’s a picture of Dick’s mom and Danielle, which makes him tear up. Danielle and Dick almost start strategizing the second the door shuts. Danielle is whining about Nick getting evicted again. Danielle has seemingly figured out that Eric is the leak in the alliance, which is actually wrong. He’s the vote but not the leak. Dick is downstairs and Eric tries to figure out what they know. Eric is pushing that the vote was Jen, but he’s pushing it a little hard. Dick is now convinced that Eric is the leak. Dick is sure he’s figuring out who and why, and it’s not Colonel Mustard with the Wrench in the Conservatory. His theory is blatantly wrong, which makes this a very funny strategy. They very stupidly go to Eric’s closest friend and tell her everything. Jessica tells the relatives that she’s with them. We then cut to her asking Eric if he was the vote, which he denies. Jessica tells Eric their idea, their plan, and everything. Eric is a small, angry man and he rages against Dick and Danielle in the diary room while making his newly found serial killer face with Jessica. It’s time for our America’s Choice question, where we can make Eric promise to take someone to the final two with them. Looks like BB is trying to screw Eric over even more than before.

We come back to spooky music and its in regards to Jen trying to talk to Danielle. Jen rallies for her and Kail to be nominated again. Jen is trying to smooth things over, and kind of lying, but she seems at times sincere. They have a small idiotic conversation about the mystery vote. It’s time for America’s choice task for Eric, who has to get Jen nominated again. Seriously, what’s with all the Jen hate? She’s done nothing to you but provide you entertainment. Eric, Dustin, Jameka, Danielle, and Dick are talking about the mystery vote and Dick accuses him of trying to sweep it under the rug. Eric’s excuses are starting to run dry, and Dick begins his rager of the episode. Surprisingly it’s not at Jen but at Eric. He yells at Eric at rages about the hammock. We get only one shot of the other group of houseguests, whose reactions are priceless. You should find the video of them. It’s where Zach figures out he has a ringworm. Surprise houseguests!

It’s nomination time and there’s little to no drama, because everyone know who’s going up. Dustin, Eric, Jameka, Amber (ugh), Dick, Jessica, and Zach are all safe, and surprise surprise Jen and Kail are the nominees. Déjà vu all over again as Yogi Berra would say. Everyone claps as Jen and Kail are nominated together for the third straight week. Kail gets the “you’re a competitor” excuse and Jen gets the “you asked for it” excuse. Kail still thinks she’s just a pawn even though this makes the third time. Jen’s just having funny. Danielle tells us to expect the unexpected with her veto plan. I say that unless she nominates Julie Chen, I won’t be surprised.