So You Think You Can Dance 8/13: LOCKDOWN!

Cat starts out on high and apparently forgot to shave her chest. Oh, wait, that’s just her very plush dress. Go figure. She calls tonight the cruelest cut of all. I always thought that the first cut was the deepest, and therefore the cruelest. But maybe I’m wrong about that. Our opening routine is an absolutely awesome Wade Robson routine. It starts with everyone under netting and turns into a sort of primal, hedonistic, bestial dance that is just kind of awesome. My only complaint is that it’s entirely too edited, giving us constant shorts of Neil contorting his face but barely a single shot of Pasha. Favoritism much? Tonight Cat’s pronunciation sounds the most like “Judges” I’ve heard in a while, but it’s still nowhere close to an actual word. Cat reminds us that Cedric was a competitor and now has a scholarship at the Debbie Allen Dance School. Thanks, but I still don’t think he deserved to make it as far as he did. Immediately, we go into one of the special time-killing performances, this time an African Dance routine from someone named Titus. The dance is interesting, but even more interesting is the fact that he seems to be wearing an African flag turned into parachute pants. Alas, he does not break into a crab walk, ala Hammer. But what can you do.

It’s solo time for everyone, in an attempt to kill even more time! Yay for time-killers!

Sabra: Sabra’s routine is fun and cute and sexy and just a good experience to watch. She’s just a big ball of energy and it’s great to watch her harness it.

Lauren: Lauren is punked out during her solo and it’s a lot of fun to watch. She displays her awesome musicality and general talent as a dancer. I mean, it’s clear she’s getting cut tonight, but can we keep her and dump Lacey please?

Lacey: Lacey does her now normal combination of stripper moves and ballroom moves. It’s getting kind of old Lacey. What’s next, sliding and being worse than Travis?

Pasha: Now this is the type of ballroom I want to see. Pasha is going the shirtless Dmitry route, but I forgive him for that because his routine is a lot of fun to watch. Plus, he's rocking suspenders.

Neil: Well, it’s a little more versatility than I’m used to, but for the most part is still flips and tricks. Damn the teenage girl vote for constantly propelling Neil forward.

Danny: Honestly, though, do I even have to reiterate that Danny is heads above the others here? His body control and his use of the stage are so good. Just amazing.

SYTYCD is philanthropic everyone! Come look! They’re teaching teachers how to teach pupils how to dance. Is that sentence convoluted? Well, so is the idea kind of. The choreographer are basically teaching a routine to people, and then the teachers can go pass on the one routine to their pupils. I mean, it’s a nice idea, but I think it’d be better to teach these people the basics as opposed to an Mia Michaels routine.

Next we get more filler, this time in the guise of a krumping routine from krumping inventor Lil C’ and his squad. It’s cool to watch, and it gets progressively better, especially once Lil’ C actually joins the dance. I always kind of thought of krumping as a lot faster than they were dancing it though.

Time to hype the tour again. Ooh, but it’s finally time for something that’s kind of like results! We get to see how everyone did last week. First the girls are up. Sabra’s up first. The judges loved her. Next comes Lauren. The judges loved her. Lacey is the last one. The judges loved her (except for her hand). They’re a lot of help aren’t they? The first girl to make the finale is…. Lacey. Ugh. If she wins this competition, I may hurl. That’s all the Schwimmer family needs. Everyone hugs.

Now it’s time for the guys. Pasha’s first. The judges loved him. Neil’s second. The judges loved him. Danny is third. The judges loved her. Are we sensing a trend here? Well, it’s understandable in most cases. MOST cases (cough cough Not Neil cough cough). The first guy to make the finale is… Danny. Yay, I was really worried he was going to get cut, with the rumors that were popping up. Ooh, drama! Cat has news for audience, dismissing them all so they don’t have inside information. Now it’s time for the eliminations. The audience boos like they always do, and they complain about not knowing who makes the finale before everyone else. Have they been getting bitching lessons from Danielle on Big Brother?

Oooh, ominous empty studio. Cat tells us it’s a lockdown situation again. The girls are up first. The other girl in the finale is Sabra, meaning Lauren is cut. I’m not surprised. Sabra was better than Lauren. Nigel tells Lauren that she peaked too late, but he’s glad she was here. Mary tells her she’s always loved her. Debbie calls her beautiful and compliments the show. Lauren calls it the best opportunity she’s ever had. She takes the news well, but I honestly believe she was fully expecting this. She gets her video package and is shunted off to the side for the boys. Cat reminds us again that no one is there. The other guy in the finale is Neil, meaning Pasha is cut. Frankly, I’m pissed, because Pasha could dance circles around Neil. Nigel tells him how much he’s grown and calls him a charming gentleman. Mary holds back tears and calls him a great ambassador for ballroom dancing. Debbie compliments the show again and tells him he has a future. Pasha looks slightly pissed. I would be too. Even my Neil-lover of a viewing mate thinks Pasha should have made it over Neil. Everyone is very somber and hugging and it’s nice to see the eliminations as somber as opposed to happy. So, yeah. Pasha was robbed. I think those are good words to end on: Pasha. Was. Robbed.