Sunday, September 16, 2007

I'm Calling You Out: The Emmys. Quit Sucking So Much...

Listen Academy of Television Arts and Sciences, we’ve gotta have a serious talk. Because watching this year's Emmys, I am seriously worried for you. Yes, you picked some fresh faces like America Ferrara of Ugly Betty instead of somehow giving her award to Kelsey Grammar. And yes, I was pleasantly surprised by certain wins like my favorite comedy of last year being your favorite as well, 30 Rock (I know I said Slap Bet from How I Met Your Mother was my favorite episode, but 30 Rock’s entire first season was great). But seriously, we’ve got some major things to talk about.

Number 1: How many of your voting members actually watch new television shows or shows that aren’t necessarily on the Big 4 networks nowadays? How many of them get channels like HBO and Showtime? Because, watching the telecast, it was really apparent that you guys missed out on a whole lot of good TV last year. Many people are saying that The Wire’s fourth season was one of the best seasons of television any show has had ever. It got zero nominations. Lots of people said that Friday Night Lights freshman season was the best first season they can remember. It got casting and directing nominations. Veronica Mars didn’t have its best season ever, but it still turned in a solidly great show. I guess you never saw it. Dexter over on Showtime boasted a morally ambiguous character (which you guys usually love) and great performances and writing. Well, at least it got an Emmy for it’s awesome main title design, but it didn’t even make the main telecast. So, seriously, I think every viewer should be forced to watch at least one episode of every show that’s eligible for nominations. I don’t care if you guys only want to watch repeats of The West Wing, you kind of have to keep up with current television that’s off the beaten path.

Number 2: The Sopranos. Where to begin with your treatment of this show? Firstly, you bring the entire cast and crew on stage in the middle of the broadcast for a standing ovation. That’s nice of you guys, honoring them for what an impact their show has had on television. Too bad that didn’t translate into actual wins. Seriously, you guys could only honor it with writing, directing, and best series? You thought James Spader deserved best actor more than James Gandolfini? Or that Terry O’Quinn deserved it more than Michael Imperioli? Or that Sally Field deserved it more than Edie Falco? Or that Katherine Heigl deserved it more than both Aida Tuturro and Lorraine Bracco? I’m sorry, as much as the four winners put in good performances this year, their statues belong to our favorite Jersey mobsters, drug addicts, mobster’s wives, mobster’s sisters, and mobster’s therapists.

Number 3: Learn to budget your freaking time better. Remember last year when you stuck Bob Newhart in a tank with three hours worth of oxygen? And if the broadcast ran over, Newhart would die? Well, let’s try doing that every year. Or cut out the freaking filler. Did we really need a ten-minute performance of Frankie Valli songs by the cast of Jersey Boys in order to honor The Sopranos? No, we didn’t. Did Ray Romano need to do a 5-minute bit about how it’s been two years since Everybody Loves Raymond finally, mercifully went off the air? No, he didn’t. Was I forced to endure all of this? Yes, yes I was.

Number 4: Just because a show is well rated, doesn’t mean it’s good. Seriously, you guys think Two and a Half Men is one of the five funniest shows on TV? I can name you ten funny un-nominated comedies that should have had its spot. At least you guys didn’t nominate every Desperate Housewife like you did last year. But seriously, look for the undiscovered gems and do a service to the TV watchers of America by highlighting them. You know how much a show like Friday Night Lights could get noticed if you had rightfully nominated it? A lot. But no, instead you give what was far and away the worst season of 24 another nomination. And there was a season where a character got caught in a bear trap.

So yeah, Emmys. Get your act together. Quit drooling over everything David E. Kelley touches. Quit giving a token win to one fresh-faced newcomer. Look beyond the Neilsen top 20 for your nominees. And respect greatness. Maybe your ratings will stop plummeting if you do so. Just a thought.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Actually last year not a single one of the Desperate Housewives were nominated for Best Actress. Julia Louis-Dreyfus won over Lisa Kudrow, Jane Kaczmarek, Stockard Channing and Debra Messing. DH got 2 acting nominations last year for Alfre Woodard for supporting actress and Shirley Knoght as guest actress.

Nate Levy said...

Yup, you're right. My bad. But that still doesn't change the fact that the Emmys mostly sucked...