State of VH1: The Upcoming

VH1 has four big shows on the docket, as well as new seasons of shows know one cares about, like Brooke Hogan Is A Terrifying Giantess. Wait, I forgot, it’s called Brooke Knows Best. But yeah, no one cares about those shows, but you do seem to care about my opinion, so I will discuss the four ones that pique my interest in order of excitement.

Rock of Love Bus/Real Chance at Love Girls: Charm School- Oh boy, am I pumped for this one, which is saying something because I didn’t even watch Real Chance at Love. The girls competing: Ashley, Farrah, Brittanya, Beverly, Natasha, Brittaney, Marcia, Gia and then from RCOL So Hood, Ki Ki, K.O, Bubbles, Risky, Bay Bay Bay. I will of course be watching for Ashley and Farrah (Long Live the Blondtourage!) But I’m also interested to see the dynamics of the two groups against each other. Rick Lake is hosting, and I think she’ll do a good job. I’ll definitely be watching. In fact, VH1 just a few days ago released the supertrailer for the show (you can find it at the always entertaining blog.vh1.com) and I have to say, this looks like a much classier affair than a typical VH1 show. They’re doing charity work? They are going to the lower 9th ward to help rebuild? There is only a minimal amount of drunken fighting in the trailer? Color me intrigued, VH1. Just make sure to color inside the lines.

New York Goes To Work- Welcome back H.B.I.C! But regarding the show, I’m already sold. New York doing things like being a mortuary assistant? I’m totally there. Even if I did tune out like halfway through New York Goes To Hollywood.

Megan Wants A Millionaire- I will very likely be watching this for three reasons, two curiosity, one genuine. First, the genuine: Brandi C. She is one of my favorite celebreality contestants ever, and will serve as the Sister Patterson to Megan’s New York. I’m excited for anything that gives me more Brandi C. Second, and we’re moving on to curiosity here, I’m really interested to see if they can make Megan likeable. I mean, I’m a fan of hers, but a lot of people aren’t. She’s pretty much a VH1 villain. They managed to make New York likeable after being a villain, but New York is so much more over the top and got dumped twice by Flav, making her sympathetic. Megan doesn’t have that. Third, I really wanna see what sort of millionaires wanna be on VH1. These are some people I wanna see. So I will very likely be watching.

Daisy of Love- I’m gonna give this one a chance. I was never a fan of Daisy, so the show’s draw is gonna have to be the contestants. The return of 12 Pack, plus the trio of Swedish triplets (Nicknamed 84, 85, and 86 because that’s what year they seem to have walked out of) are promising hints, but the supertrailer both reveals a lot of Daisy singing, to which please stop, and that Riki Rachtman plays a large role in the show. If there’s one thing I know, it’s that Riki Rachtman makes everything he is a part of worse. It’s a proven scientific fact. After having watched the first episode, I feel an overwhelming meh. Since the first episode always has to introduce a ton of people, I’m gonna give it another shot, but unless it gets a good bit better or Daisy suddenly becomes a lot more likeable and less like a whiny version of Janice the Muppet, I’ll likely tune out.

So, that’s what’s coming up on VH1. There’s also Tool Academy 2, and likely I Love Money 3, so, folks, VH1’s future looks good.