Tonight brings the return of summer’s most reliable guilty pleasure and every peeping tom’s dream show, Big Brother, with host Julie Chen, aka Chen-Bot. Viewers can always rely on Big Brother to have at least a few moments of must-see TV, whether it be one contestant threatening another with a knife, one contestant tearing into another with a tirade about her being a “busted-ass blonde bitch” (aka Busto), or all contestants flipping sides and backstabbing each other in a desperate attempt to keep their asses in the house. The house, which is more like a fishbowl, usually produces stir-craziness after a short amount of time, leading to hilarity watching these people’s mental states slowly deteriorating.
To help us understand these people’s diminished sanity, we have Julie Chen as our hostess-with-the-leastest. Delivering every line the same, Julie Chen has maintained her job thanks to loving husband and network head Les Moonves. But alas, the Chen-Bot is back and still is droning on.
This summer’s edition of BB, which CBS calls “the most surprising yet”, features 12 attractive young people and 2 others. The theme to this year appears to be rivals, meaning that a bunch of the people in the house will be each other’s sworn enemies. In certain ways, this is like their “ex-factor” twist, only with less chance for reconciliation and more chance for drunken screaming matches and bitchy drama. One of the already revealed pairs is Danielle (one of the attractive young ‘uns and a Hooters waitress) and Dick (one of the creepy older people), an estranged father and daughter. This could be interesting indeed. The other twist that America will have a player this year, meaning one houseguest whom America can control and manipulate to do their bidding, with financial incentives for answering to America’s beck and call. The other notable feature of this house is the house itself, a demented through-the-looking-glass abode with one bedroom too small and one bedroom too big. America, we are one step closer to “Tiny House” sponsored by Geico.
Some of the other housemates this season include two other attractive young women, Carol and Jessica, with connections to the same Dance Company in Kansas (gee, I wonder if they’ll be enemies). There’s Kail, a conservative mom from Oregon (our other old person). I wonder if she’ll clash with Dick, who wants to meet George Bush so he can kick him in the nuts. Also around is former Football player Nick, who, according to executive producer Alison Grodner, likes to walk around with his shirt off. Because that tends to be a rarity in the Big Brother house. Then there’s Jameka, who has apparently had very little to do with white people before this experience. Seeing as how she’s the only minority person, that could be interesting to watch. Evaluating the cast beforehand makes it seem like this could be a good edition, but only time will tell how our exhibitionists fare. All I know is I’ll be watching and figuring out a way to upload a virus to the Chen-Bot’s motherboard.
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