When Talent Collides "On The Lot" 7/9

This week begins by showing us what our 5 directors had to work with this week, besides the tagline “When Worlds Collide”. The famous Universal backlot is home to our directors this week. But enough of that, its Adrianna Costa time. This week she’s in her shortest yet dress, a little purple number, and I mean the little part. Thanks Adrianna. But first, its elimination time. This week, Adrianna comes to bear the bad news alone, prompting this recapper to wonder whether Garry Marshall was finally institutionalized. Shira-Lee is our unlucky director this week, being booted for delivering a no-scares horror movie. That’s not all; two of this week’s 5 directors are going home. That’s very bad news for Hilary, and bad news for Shalini and Adam, because I would doubt Will and Zack are in any danger.

Speaking of Zack, he’s up first this week. His short, “Time Upon A Once”, is about one couple moving forwards and one couple moving backwards. I think. I’m not entirely sure. His concept confounds me a little. It’s certainly a visually arresting short, especially the little bit where the golden retriever is being pet backwards. That was really cool. As was seeing the dad from “Family Matters”. It was definitely worked better for its visual elements than its story elements. For instance, I didn’t quite think that the guy getting hit by the car fit very well. Carrie liked it like all of his other work. Guest judge Luke Greenfield (The Girl Next Door) thought it reminded him of something Spike Jonze would make. I agree, if the story was a little stronger. Garry Marshall likes dogs and wants everyone to remember peaches.

When we come back from break. Adrianna is chatting up our judges. Luke Greenfield wants us to follow our hearts, whereas Adrianna just wants us make sure we heard it. Then comes Hillary’s film. It’s a fable about donkeys set in the old west. Hillary is worried that her film won’t succeed. But then again, if it did, it’d be a first for her. It’s her best movie so far. The visual style is kind of aggravating, with all the soft-focus. There are one or two good jokes in there (particularly the girl turning Chinese). And she does show a wider range of shots, and less crude humor, which I was expecting (especially with a story involving a man and a tail). Carrie thought she improved a lot, but she needs to step up more and make something great. Luke thought it was wack, but in a good way, the way his mom would love. Garry quotes a mime.

We come back from commercial to see people entering our wildly fake theater. Adrianna and next week’s action movie directors are huddled around the fake concession, where Adrianna feeds Mateen popcorn and admits that she just touched his mouth. Will’s up next with his short “Spaghetti” about a couple that gets trapped in a spaghetti western. Will’s movie, despite a really weak performance from the lead actor, is pretty fun. It’s well shot, has a bunch of good dialogue (a first for non-talkie Will), and makes all the necessary cliché shots without coming off as cliché. Carrie is please that there’s dialogue this week. Luke liked it but wanted a little more punch at the end, using an analogy that involves anchovies. Garry doesn’t think Will looks Italian.

When we come back, Adrianna appears to be talking to an invisible friend. I wonder if that’s the one who keeps shortening her dress on commercial breaks. Shalini is up next, using special effects and Tatyana Ali. Shalini appears to be behind schedule, and is hoping she can get all her shots in time. Her short, “First Sight” is interesting. I actually really like it. Yeah, it’s a little ham-fisted in its pushing the message, but it was well-shot, both actresses did good jobs, and I liked the ending, although she signed a petition to help hungry children, not spare change. Carrie doesn’t like “message” movies because she finds them patronizing. Maybe Carrie just never signs petitions for hungry children. Luke felt like she was trying to brand him with the morality iron. Garry liked it because she was misunderstood. Garry also thinks that they play subtle in Connecticut. It’s very scary to me that Garry and I are the only two who see eye to eye on this one. Very scary.

Adam is up last this week with his short “Worldly Possession”, about a greedy suburban couple who get a military package. Adam is worried about his effects shots, just like everyone else. Adam’s movie is funny, his effects shots are great, and his actor’s performances are good to boot. The only problem I have is that the very beginning with the bumbling scientist wasn‘t very good. Carrie thinks it was the best movie of the night and provided a subtle message, glaring either at Garry or Shalini. I can’t tell. Luke loved it and thought it was well shot and the effects shots were great as well. Garry is moving to Connecticut. Good, he needs to learn subtle. Garry asks if Carrie would kill. Then he says he likes it when Adam’s people sing. Does that mean Jews? If so Garry, you’re not likely to find many singing Jews in Connecticut. I should know. I’m both Jewish and go to school there.

Adam was Carrie’s favorite. Zack was Luke’s favorite. Hilary was Garry’s most improved. That wasn’t the question Garry.

My rankings:
1) Adam. I really enjoyed it, and there weren’t many faults with it.
2) Will. Will’s first foray into dialogue was well written and shot.
3) Shalini. I liked it, I don’t know why, but I liked it.
4) Zack. It was good, but not up to the level I expected from him. Also, the more I think about it, the more it seems visually and possibly storily (is that a word?) lifted from Sci-Fi’s Eureka, a show that I like a lot better than On The Lot.
5) Hillary. A big improvement, but she really shouldn’t have made it past the first week. Claudia LaBianca was robbed!